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Kris

Kris Delaney

Helena, MT, United States | Member Since 2010

52
HELPFUL VOTES
  • 16 reviews
  • 94 ratings
  • 359 titles in library
  • 31 purchased in 2014
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FOLLOWERS
4

  • This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

    • UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 54 mins)
    • By David Wong
    • Narrated By Nick Podehl
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (977)
    Performance
    (923)
    Story
    (931)

    Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.

    Charles says: "Very Different than John Dies, but Equal"
    "Gory Good Fun"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Full of cringe worthy violence, and laugh-out-loud raunch, Book Full of Spiders is a dementedly good listen. I was sad not to hear Stephen Thorne narrate, since he did a wonderful job with the first book, John Dies at the End; but Nick Podehl sounds like he's actually closer in age to the characters. Podehl also did a wonderful job reading The King Killer Chronicles, so I was glad to listen to him take on a new world. Sadly, this book wasn't as good as John Dies at the End, it drags for a while, and the never-ending bizarreness factor that twisted the first book just wasn't up to speed here. Still, it's good to back in the hands of Mr. Wong and the weird encounters he can't stay away from.

    12 of 13 people found this review helpful
  • The Case of the Time-Capsule Bandit: Randi Rhodes, Ninja Detective, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (4 hrs and 27 mins)
    • By Octavia Spencer
    • Narrated By Octavia Spencer
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1)
    Performance
    (1)
    Story
    (1)

    Meet Randi Rhodes, the world's first ninja detective! Mystery abounds in this delightful new middle-grade series from Academy Award-winning actress Octavia Spencer. Deer Creek is a small town whose only hope for survival is the success of their Founder's Day Festival. But the festival's main attraction, a time capsule that many people believe holds the town's treasure, has gone missing. andi Rhodes and her best friend, D.C., are Bruce Lee-inspired ninjas and local detectives determined to solve the case.

    Kris says: "Quick Hitting Adventure"
    "Quick Hitting Adventure"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    It's rare to hear an author who can perform her own work, and Octavia Spencer is one of those extraordinary writers who can. Octavia's range of characters is impressive, their many quirks and personalities come to life through her voice. The story is a quick, fun ride that readers and listeners of the genre will like. The characters are empowering, their struggles to be taken seriously will resonate with anyone who has been, will be, or is currently in the middle grades.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • 11-22-63: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (30 hrs and 44 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Craig Wasson
    Overall
    (17885)
    Performance
    (15902)
    Story
    (15859)

    On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed. What if you could change it back? In this brilliantly conceived tour de force, Stephen King - who has absorbed the social, political, and popular culture of his generation more imaginatively and thoroughly than any other writer - takes listeners on an incredible journey into the past and the possibility of altering it.

    Kelly says: "I Owe Stephen King An Apology"
    "I Felt Transported"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This book really took me on an adventure, King captures the sights and smells of the past so vividly, I felt like I had traveled back into another era along side the protagonist. I met fascinating characters, all of them with unique dialects, I laughed at the wit and wisdom of the narrator, and shed a tear once or twice for the sentimental moments King depicts so perfectly. What I really like about King is that he obviously enjoys writing, that comes across in the shear volume of his work, but also in the way the narrative flows so effortlessly. Sometimes, this love of the written word makes the story drag (which is why I give it four out of five stars), but it also populates his novels with details and dramas so perfectly ordinary, that when extraordinary events occur I can believe them, one-hundred percent.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Age of Miracles: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 3 mins)
    • By Karen Thompson Walker
    • Narrated By Emily Janice Card
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (466)
    Performance
    (411)
    Story
    (409)

    On a seemingly ordinary Saturday in a California suburb, Julia and her family awake to discover, along with the rest of the world, that the rotation of the earth has suddenly begun to slow. The days and nights grow longer and longer, gravity is affected, the environment is thrown into disarray. Yet as she struggles to navigate an ever-shifting landscape, Julia is also coping with the normal disasters of everyday life.

    Karen says: "Not sure I can measure up..."
    "Too Accurate To Be Captivating"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Karen Thompson Walker animates her characters using such brilliant gestures that I felt transported into her protagonist, Julia's slowly changing world. Unfortunately, when the earth's rotation slows down, so does the plot. The excitement of the premise is intentionally set in the background while 10-year-old Julia frets about fashion, friendships, and boys. The changes in the length of a day are so gradual that they don't really matter to the story, just the setting. Every major action the characters made could have occurred in a novel without the earth's slowing. Greater spans of time between chapters would have made for a much more dramatic/ epic narrative. Still, at the heart of the novel is a delicate girls heart: just as fragile and small a thing as our worlds place in the universe, but equally beautiful and important.

    9 of 13 people found this review helpful
  • John Dies at the End

    • UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 20 mins)
    • By David Wong
    • Narrated By Stephen R. Thorne
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1813)
    Performance
    (1654)
    Story
    (1668)

    STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?

    Amazon Customer says: "Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win."
    "Laughing In Fright"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    What made the experience of listening to John Dies at the End the most enjoyable?

    I can't decide if I was more terrified or entertained. Like riding a roller coaster, this book scares just as much as it delights.


    What other book might you compare John Dies at the End to and why?

    I would compare this book to creepy folklore lurking around the internet. Like Black Eyed Kids, The Grifter Video, The Russian Sleep Experiment, or Polybius. It's a modern horror tale meant to seem like a real artifact.


    Have you listened to any of Stephen R. Thorne’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    I have not listened to anything else Thorne has done, but he is wonderful, and really brings the story to life.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    John Dies At The End: Witness The End Of The Beginning. (Because it's going to be a series.)


    Any additional comments?

    There's a sequel coming out pretty soon, and I'm definitely going to listen to it. If you're a fan of horror and comedy, this ones for you.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 18 mins)
    • By Seth Grahame-Smith
    • Narrated By Scott Holst
    Overall
    (6784)
    Performance
    (5164)
    Story
    (5244)

    While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

    Haden says: "My friends thought I was crazy."
    "The Movie Is Better"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    No, it was incredibly boring, because for a book about vampires, there were very few. With such a ballsy title it should have been more over-the-top, but Smith strives for realism in a genre where I'm not looking for any. By so closely mirroring Lincoln's real life, the narrative dragged and slogged with very little conflict.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    John Dies At The End, another book soon to be a movie.


    What do you think the narrator could have done better?

    Chosen a better book to read aloud, he didn't have much to work with.


    Do you think Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    No, because the market is already saturated with similar titles like The Secret History of Elizabeth Tudor, Vampire Slayer.


    Any additional comments?

    Needs more cowbell, i.e. vampires and kick-ass-itude.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • It

    • UNABRIDGED (44 hrs and 57 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Steven Weber
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (4618)
    Performance
    (3348)
    Story
    (3371)

    They were just kids when they stumbled upon the horror of their hometown. Now, as adults, none of them can withstand the force that has drawn them all back to Derry, Maine, to face the nightmare without end, and the evil without a name.

    Parola138 says: "I thought I was desensitized"
    "The Cocaine Induced Equivalent of Moby Dick"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Someone who doesn't mind great swaths of prose that do nothing to advance the plot, only slug it down.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.


    Which character – as performed by Steven Weber – was your favorite?

    Basically everyone, Steven Weber is a genius of the highest caliber, and I would listen to him read cookbooks.


    What character would you cut from It?

    Mike Hanlon's father. Dear sweet baby Jesus, that was sooooooooooo boring, my ears actually began producing excess ear wax to block the coma inducing slogfest that was Mike's father's 'story'.


    Any additional comments?

    The first chapter is by fay, the most terrifying portion of the book. It's genuinely creepy, and should have just been a short story. But then, King got a hold of some really potent cocaine, and the next thing you know, about thirty-plus, unnecessary hours were created. I don't understand why this is such a popular book, it wasn't that good, and

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

    • ABRIDGED (6 hrs and 3 mins)
    • By Max Brooks
    • Narrated By Max Brooks, Alan Alda, John Turturro, and others
    Overall
    (5410)
    Performance
    (3669)
    Story
    (3680)

    The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of 30 million souls, to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet.

    Steve says: "Good but Too Short!"
    "Never Buy Abriged"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Would you consider the audio edition of World War Z to be better than the print version?

    No. The audio version has wonderful voices, but the book has a better story, and that's what I listen for. So much of the book was taken out I felt robbed.


    What was most disappointing about Max Brooks’s story?

    Allowing some hack to carve away his most powerful chapters.


    Have you listened to any of the narrators’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    All the voice talent is superb.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The sequence where the pilot is shot down in the swamp and has to make it to safety. Also, that someone would destroy a wonderful book by essentially censoring it, that moved me.


    Any additional comments?

    Don't listen to it. Read it. NBA - Never Buy Abridged!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Agent to the Stars

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 49 mins)
    • By John Scalzi
    • Narrated By Wil Wheaton
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (3405)
    Performance
    (2939)
    Story
    (2943)

    The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.

    C. Paget says: "excellent"
    "Too Snarky For Its Own Good"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    For a novel about aliens, there sure aren't many. It's mostly self-absorbed humans making deals that reward themselves and punish others. I guess if I wanted to engross myself in a novel about Hollywood, I'd read William Goldman, but I pick up a Scalzi novel to transport myself to another world. Scalzi has captured a different place (Hollywood), it's just not as fantastic, or memorable as outer space. Not that every book Scalzi writes should take place there, this just wasn't what I've grown accustomed to from him.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Dune. With only two credits a month, I have to listen to the same books over and over again, and I know that's one I can listen to umpteen times. Although, I constantly listen to Read Player One, by Ernest Cline, because it's brilliant.


    Which character – as performed by Wil Wheaton – was your favorite?

    Joshua: Honest and awkward. Pitch perfect, like everything he does.


    Did Agent to the Stars inspire you to do anything?

    Write the end of a novel first, so foreshadowing comes easier throughout. That's more than likely what Scalzi (a genius, all around), has done with the majority of his novels.


    Any additional comments?

    John Scalzi is incredibly talented, and writes books I love to listen to, but I didn't like this one. The snarky tone (which more than likely abounds in Hollywood) gets to be a bit much.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Neuromancer

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 30 mins)
    • By William Gibson
    • Narrated By Robertson Dean
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1228)
    Performance
    (1086)
    Story
    (1096)

    Twenty years ago, it was as if someone turned on a light. The future blazed into existence with each deliberate word that William Gibson laid down. The winner of Hugo, Nebula, and Philip K. Dick Awards, Neuromancer didn't just explode onto the science fiction scene - it permeated into the collective consciousness, culture, science, and technology.Today, there is only one science fiction masterpiece to thank for the term "cyberpunk," for easing the way into the information age and Internet society.

    David says: "5 stars for coolness, 3 stars for give-a-heckness"
    "8-bit Nostalgia for a 21st Century Heist"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    What did you love best about Neuromancer?

    The one liners. So much disposable wisdom, it will always remain relevant because Gibson is a talented author.


    What did you like best about this story?

    It's like a western bank robbery set in the future, with Rastafarian pilots and girls with razors in their fingers. Sex and drugs and violence. Exotic locations, and realistic fantasies. Why hasn't this been turned into a movie yet?


    What do you think the narrator could have done better?

    Molly's voice. I actually wanted a different actress to step in and read her lines, because Robertson Dean sticks with the voice he's created for her well, but there are some lines that shouldn't be read softly. A dude speaking softly can never sound like a pissed off woman.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    When Case see's the third figure standing with the boy, and Jane, and knows who it is, I actually got chills, the hard cold kind that cling to your back.


    Any additional comments?

    I listened to this because I've listened to Ready Player One about seven times now, and wanted something similar, so if you want cyber adventure, I'd say you should also check out Ernest Cline's masterpiece.

    7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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