The way I see intention is this. At some point, I made a decision to give my life to God. I had no where else to turn so I started praying to a God I thought didn't think much of me because I was in such a low state of consciousness. The act of my intention to “surrender myself” or “abandon myself utterly” into his protection and care started the process of personal growth and transformation for me. It was a gift of desperation that I started praying at all because nothing else worked and I had lost faith in most everyone and everything including myself. I had been told that the spiritual way is really the only way to go so I was graced with willingness to set this intention. I intuited that my only hope was in that which the world calls "divinity" or "the spiritual realm".
As a result of this intention, I aligned myself with a much more powerful field of energy. This was the result of having a sincere intention. It stemmed from a much higher motivation than many of the other intentions I have set for things. I was not really interested in “getting anything” other than to make the pain go away. In essence I said “do with me as you will God. Thy will be done, not mine. I’m a mess and I don’t have a clue what to do. Fix it and help me because you just gotta help me. I'll do whatever you want me to do, just please help me.” That’s basically how it went down. I set a sincere intention to "get on God's team while there was yet time".
As soon as I made this decision I felt a little bit better about myself. I felt empowered and lifted up spiritually. Then all of a sudden my life looked a lot different and instead of being upset with myself, which is towards the bottom of the scale in Guilt and Shame, I found myself resentful at all sorts of people and frustrated with all sorts of circumstances, which is more in the Anger and Pride range of the scale. This was some of my unconscious “karma” that was now ready to be uncovered, discovered and discarded through the spiritual work of taking responsibility for my life. The more spiritual power one has, which is to say the higher one goes up on the scale as a result of prayer and conscious contact, the more spiritually sensitive one becomes to negativity that has come up to be let go – the so-called karmic “stacks” that I hear spiritual students discuss. When I forget my intention to be about God's business and not the ego's, as it has been easy for me to do along the way, I try to remember that God is going to "get His way" no matter what, being the All-Powerful and All-Knowing God that he is. Such is the power of the overall field with which I am aligned. So I can fight him or I can surrender to him through an intention to let His Will be done. It really is that simple.
So I must remain focused on what the overall context of my life really is. I am here to serve God, to be a channel for His Will and Expression. Whatever gifts come along the way are part of the package, but it is not the destination. It is not that an intention to "surrender oneself completely to God" is "better than" an intention to "buy a new suit" or "get a new job". It is that those are like "sub-intentions" within the overall intention of my life. There are all sorts of fun things and spiritual exercises I can do with the idea of “visioning” once I have gotten in touch with this Power and I am not one to tell people what is the best way for them to pray. Teachers like Michael Beckwith and Wayne Dyer have extremely useful information for those who want to learn how to more effectively and efficiently tap into this Source, and I have found great benefit in their teachings. My problems have come when I get distracted by the "shiny things" along the way that are the creations of God and not God Himself. Or else I am setting intentions for things that are unrealistic for me or I am outlining exactly what they will look like and just how it shall all be. There is too much of a frustration and set up to be a victim when I am into "controlling outcomes". God may want me to become a missionary for all I know or he may want me to start a business, as this is how I am designed to be. I cannot say, and I cannot presume, which is what I am doing when I am coming from the ego-mind. Maybe starting a missionary business is the best thing that could ever happen to a guy like me for all I know!
Thus, "Thy Will Be Done" is the highest form of prayer in terms of "motivation" or “intention”, the way I see it. I cannot presume to know the Will of God. I cannot say "I have an intention for this person to get well" and be coming from a pure place. For all I know this person cannot get well and I best set the intention that God's Will Be Done in their life, whatever that may be. Otherwise I am "playing God" in people's lives and my intention is really about controlling outcomes and there is some sort of payoff for the ego in me.
So I learned quickly that the only way I was ever going to be happy and feel empowered in life was if I got out the blame game of looking for ways to stay in a victim mentality. Much like Bill Cosby says, as mentioned by Dr. Hawkins in this lecture, there had to be no more excuses. I had created my problems, no one else did. Even my family of origin was a karmic “choice” and agreement of my soul, according to teachers I studied like Fox and Hawkins. So I started looking at what aspects of myself had lead to my frustration and failure in life. Even if situations were not entirely my fault, as it often takes “two to tango”, it is irrelevant to my happiness and spiritual work to focus on the external world and look for “causes” for my suffering. If my happiness and peace of mind are dependent upon other people changing, then I am in for a really long ride. This is an inside job, as my circumstances are the perfect fulfillment of my inner thought and feeling life, which is the perfect expression of my karmic “charge” that the Good Doctor mentions here. So it really does not matter what others may have done. Even if we have been horribly abused and mistreated, there comes a point when I am an adult and I must forgive. It does us no good to keep milking that deal and bringing it into all our relationships. And we do bring all of that past unresolved emotional baggage into our relationships. It is unavoidable, as we carry our karma with us wherever we go, hence all the more reason to let go of the karma promptly, by facing it squarely.
I find that whenever I am disturbed emotionally I have some role to play and something for which to take responsibility. That is the discipline that comes with repeated inventory taking. I was exposed to an EST style way of doing this at some point and I would say this is a valuable discipline to develop. "No matter what", it is my fault. Even though spiritually speaking I "could not" have done better than I did, I can see what I "would like" to do differently in the future. A clever thing my ego did later, once I was exposed to certain high level spiritual understandings, was to stop this process of taking responsibility because I knew that the world was a perfect karmic totality. This was Dr. Hawkins talking though. He had already owned his ego and surrendered it completely, so I was misapplying teachings that were not appropriate for my consciousness level. This is called spiritual make-believe, as far as I am concerned, as I was trying to become something that I had not yet earned through karmic merit. As a consequence of the development of this spiritual ego I started thinking I had transcended things that I had not yet touched. It is as if I said “now that I know the true nature of God as being Infinite Love and my true identity as being beyond all time and universes I don’t need to take such an active role in life. It was really an abnegation of responsibility when I started saying "well that's just the perfect will of God" and I had just been doing all sorts of selfish things in people's lives. Again, this is the danger when I think that spirituality is all about "feeling good". It does not feel so good to take a look at myself when I have been running on self-will, thinking that I am doing God's Will. So what I experienced as "not feeling good" was really fear about taking an honest look at myself. In truth I was going to really "be free" by taking a look at myself and seeing what I could do to repair the damage I had done in the process of "undoing" my negative karma or "compensating through good works" the negativity I had put out into the Universe. I think to "be free" and "know Truth" are better goals for me than "feeling good", as how I feel is really besides the point. I do end up “feeling good” as it is the nature of Spirit to rejoice in itself but more importantly I am “at peace” within myself and not fighting anyone or anything.
That said, nowadays, I act on faith that situations in my life that do seem really “unfair” and where I cannot make an immediate karmic connection from this lifetime are due to past life karmic decisions. It does really not matter in terms of taking responsibility. If I am emotionally disturbed there is something "out" in me and the intellect does not need to understand it. It just needs to let it go if I am to live to any good purpose and have lasting peace of mind. The more time I spend in prayer and setting an intention to "know Truth" or "serve God" or "grow spiritually" the more unconscious negativity comes up to be processed out. Listening to Dr. Hawkins lectures is like putting this karmic process on hyper-drive. It just squeezes the ego by the very exposure to it. I did all sorts of things that I thought I had “gotten away with” because “no one was watching” and now I find that truly "every hair on our heads is indeed counted". This is a merciful arrangement though, because my new spiritual sensitivity holds me up to the mark. I have a higher standard for myself because it is too painful to violate integrity and this spiritual purification process gets ever more delightful and understandable as I transcend. Please do not take my word for it though. Try listening to a full lecture and taking notes on the important points and see what happens for yourself!
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