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Maynard

Scientist, artisan, anachronism

Moravian falls, NC, United States | Member Since 2011

ratings
210
REVIEWS
31
FOLLOWING
13
FOLLOWERS
10
HELPFUL VOTES
45

  • LT's Theory of Pets

    • ORIGINAL (55 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Stephen King
    Overall
    (222)
    Performance
    (72)
    Story
    (71)

    LT has a theory about pets, particularly his Siamese cat. It had been their cat, not just his cat, but that was until he came home one day to find a note on the fridge from his wife saying she had left him. Recorded live at the Royal Festival Hall in London, this story demonstrates yet again that no one can tell a tale like Stephen King. Available only in audio!

    Jackie says: "Wickedly Funny"
    "dig it, and dig it well"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    King’s narration is not always well received. He’s bland, at times; he doesn't pull punches. He is unique. & some ppl hate his readings. when King reads he’s a hit or miss. Here he hits. He nails it.

    This is a live reading. he is happy. He's wicked. You can hear a smirk on his face if you listen closely. he reads it right.

    The story floored me. More wit than rotten; more homestead humor than horror. This is one of those real stories of real ppl in real places facing real problems. You see that here and there with a King short; this is one.

    Now I like my King to have horror. Like in the Library Policeman (one of my favorites), great horror is what I expect. So when he tosses out a real story, and I love it, it catches me off guard. But even in the absence of the horror it is fantastic.

    This is a great story. If your'e a King fan, as I am, you’ll probably dig it...

    well...

    -m

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Monster Hunter International

    • UNABRIDGED (23 hrs and 34 mins)
    • By Larry Correia
    • Narrated By Oliver Wyman
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (6536)
    Performance
    (5744)
    Story
    (5744)

    Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.

    Konstantin says: "Suprizingly entertaining"
    "can 5000+ people be wrong?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story


    Can 5000+ppl be wrong? Well, george bush got elected…

    this book is a meld of Saturday morning cartoons and pop vomit that you might find on the OC. Way too good guys always win. Way too see everything coming. Way too much of a waste of time for me to finish.

    I'm such a sucker for advertising; I fell for the onslaught of praise. I was wrong. This is a goof, a joke, a silly story.

    Try American Elsewhere or the Rook. They've got monsters and they've got material with some meat to it. And you don't feel stupider when you finished

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Stephen Crane's Other 13 Favorite Short Stories: George's Mother, The Monster & 11 Others

    • ORIGINAL (8 hrs and 7 mins)
    • By Stephen Crane
    • Narrated By Deaver Brown
    Overall
    (2)
    Performance
    (2)
    Story
    (2)

    These are the 13 best known and respected short works of Stephen Crane. George's "Mother and The Monster" are particularly highly regarded but rarely read and almost never listened to. In addition, this audiobook includes "A Dark Brown Dog", "A Great Mistake", "An Experiment in Luxury", "An Experiment in Misery", "An Ominous Baby", "Flanagan", "His New Mittens", "The Five White Mice", "The Knife", "The Men in the Storm", and "The Veteran".

    Maynard says: "reader is terrible"
    "reader is terrible"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story


    The reader is terrible. He’s plunging through the prose, mulling it into a mess.

    He has no personality. No presence. No timbre. No timing.

    It’s always like he’s falling forward, but without reaction.

    He stole the life from the stories.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Ulysses

    • UNABRIDGED (27 hrs and 21 mins)
    • By James Joyce
    • Narrated By Jim Norton
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (635)
    Performance
    (369)
    Story
    (357)

    Ulysses is regarded by many as the single most important novel of the 20th century. It tells the story of one day in Dublin, June 16th 1904, largely through the eyes of Stephen Dedalus (Joyce's alter ego from Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man) and Leopold Bloom, an advertising salesman. Both begin a normal day, and both set off on a journey around the streets of Dublin, which eventually brings them into contact with one another.

    Peter says: "Ulysses (Unabridged)"
    "there is no better book on audible"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story


    this is #1.

    Ulysses is the single best book on audible.

    One of the most incredible books of all time. Stream of consciousness… pure thought coming out in words. Simple and complex at once. A masterpiece. The masterpiece.

    I thought nothing could make it better. I was wrong.

    This reading brought the novel to life in no way I could have imagined. Any other reading pales in comparison. And it’s not just Jim Norton that gives a stellar performance. No no… Marcella Riordan … is amazing. absolutely amazing. She gives the end monologue so much sensuality that i get chills when I hear it.

    I truly believe there is no better audiobook on audible.

    i hope you get the pleasure

    -m

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • A Tale of Two Cities [Tantor]

    • UNABRIDGED (13 hrs and 39 mins)
    • By Charles Dickens
    • Narrated By Simon Vance
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (819)
    Performance
    (621)
    Story
    (650)

    A Tale of Two Cities is one of Charles Dickens's most exciting novels. Set against the backdrop of the French Revolution, it tells the story of a family threatened by the terrible events of the past. Doctor Manette was wrongly imprisoned in the Bastille for 18 years without trial by the aristocratic authorities.

    Teddy says: "Truly a Classic"
    "it's the singer not the song*"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story


    tale of 2 cities is tale of 2 cities. it's a landmark novel. it's my favorite Dickens. and this is the best of the versions. i have several versions and this is the one.

    it is Simon Vance that makes the difference. he's perfect in this narration. he's better than any other. perfect articulation. perfect cadence. perfect tone. perfect meter. a perfect version.

    in fact, i believe, this is one of the best of the audiobooks on audible. i have listened to this one over and over. maybe i've put it on a dozen times. why? this reading is poetry of sound and story. this is a pleasure to hear.

    i hope you enjoy it.

    -m

    * Mick Jagger

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Star Wars: Death Troopers

    • UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 41 mins)
    • By Joe Schreiber
    • Narrated By Sean Kenin
    Overall
    (478)
    Performance
    (265)
    Story
    (267)

    When the Imperial prison barge Purge - temporary home to 500 of the galaxy's most ruthless killers, rebels, scoundrels, and thieves - breaks down in a distant, uninhabited part of space, its only hope appears to lie with a star destroyer found drifting, derelict, and seemingly abandoned. But when a boarding party from the Purge is sent to scavenge for parts, only half of them come back - bringing with them a horrific disease so lethal that within hours nearly all aboard the Purge die in ways too hideous to imagine.

    Morelos says: "Awesome atmospheric Star Wars horror"
    "this is not a zombie story for star wars fans..."
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    this is a star wars story for zombie fans.

    Most of the reviews are rite- this is a good and gory book. more so than star wars. Much more since star wars wasn't gory at all… no, this is a zombie story with all the gore that any other zombie story has.

    There’s a great part where a guy is dying from the lung virus; he tries to talk through the coughing that is killing him. The scene is graphic with just the onomatopoeia(s?) of the suffering in the grueling monologue. But the narrator just nails the scene. His retching while gasping for words… came off real. Really hard to believe that he could narrate it so well.

    Anyway, it’s a gory book for fans of gory books much more than for star wars fans. With all the star wars stuff: references, sound effects & creatures, it may not appeal to the true zombie fans either.
    Really this is for the ppl that like zombies and star wars.

    Any other buys it will do so at their own risk…

    -m

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Carrie

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 24 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Sissy Spacek
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (184)
    Performance
    (171)
    Story
    (173)

    An unpopular teenage girl, whose mother is a religious fanatic, is tormented and teased to the breaking point by her more popular schoolmates. She uses her hidden telekinetic powers to inflict a terrifying revenge.

    Angelia Chisolm says: "The best of Stephen Kings books, and to think he a"
    "intence"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story


    Bullying, abuse, tyrannical religious monsters, twisted christian values… this one is a juicy, sink your teeth into, masterwork.

    The pain she endures from her religious, nut-job mamma is excruciating. It is real. It is something that can be believed in and experienced during the read.

    The use of the letters and newspaper clips that break up the character narrations make it unique, unusual.

    indeed this is great story telling. this is one of King's best

    -m

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Joyland

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 33 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Michael Kelly
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (2905)
    Performance
    (2689)
    Story
    (2690)

    Set in a small-town North Carolina amusement park in 1973, Joyland tells the story of the summer in which college student Devin Jones comes to work as a carny and confronts the legacy of a vicious murder, the fate of a dying child, and the ways both will change his life forever. Joyland is a brand-new novel and has never previously been published.

    Bella McGuire says: "The sweest and creepiest coming of age story!"
    "i want horror from king"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    when i get a King novel i expect horror. i want supernatural. i want creepy. i want escape from the normal.

    this is NOT his horror e'specialty.

    this IS a wonderful, powerful, engrossing novel. i loved it. there was no horror, bit it didn't need it. this one got to me somewhere else; somewhere that is not horrible...

    i have read more than half of King's canon. Joyland proves that King is not just the master of horror, he's a master of writing.

    -m

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • NOS4A2: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (19 hrs and 41 mins)
    • By Joe Hill
    • Narrated By Kate Mulgrew
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (2696)
    Performance
    (2495)
    Story
    (2500)

    Victoria McQueen has an uncanny knack for finding things: a misplaced bracelet, a missing photograph, answers to unanswerable questions. When she rides her bicycle over the rickety old covered bridge in the woods near her house, she always emerges in the places she needs to be. Vic doesn't tell anyone about her unusual ability, because she knows no one will believe her. She has trouble understanding it herself.

    Christopher Barnes says: "D*mn near flawless"
    "good 'ol joe"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    another entertaining bit of horror from joe. the kinda-christmas theme was annoying. dispite that the book still turned out well.

    Horns and Hell House were both better books. i would recommend them before this one. if you read them then this should satisfy.

    -m

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Doomed

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 35 mins)
    • By Chuck Palahniuk
    • Narrated By Tai Sammons
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (97)
    Performance
    (91)
    Story
    (92)

    Madison Spencer, the liveliest, snarkiest dead girl in the universe, continues the adventures in the afterlife begun in Damned. Having somewhat reluctantly escaped from hell, she now wanders the purgatory that is Earth as a ghostly spirit, seeking her do-gooding celebrity parents, fighting the malign control of Satan, recounting the disgracefully funny encounter with her grandfather in a fetid highway rest stop in upstate New York when she - oh, never mind - and climaxing in a rendezvous with destiny on the new, totally plastic continent in the Pacific called, not at all accidentally, Madlantis.

    Marci says: "So Disappointing"
    "- sigh -"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    i liked Damned. i really like Tai's voice (the narrator). but Doomed... this i don't understand. i can't get my wits around the fact that Chuck could produce such a novel. really, how does someone let themselves go like this?

    i'm sure the die-hard fans will still get the book despite the reviews, but they'll be disappointed. it's hard to put into words what is lacking from the story, i'm sure there are some other, more eloquent reviews that explain the story's issues. so i'll leave that to them.

    for me, rite outa the gate i knew this book was gonna suck. but he really lost me when the 11yr old girl got her shirt ejaculated on after manually masturbating an old man through a glory hole in the men's room.

    I've come to expect some crass from Chuck, about 1/2 his books have some rude sexual situations. but come on, 11yrs old is too much. this is not what i expect from him.

    oh well. they can't all be zingers**

    better luck next time.

    -m

    ** - les claypool

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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