Maynard

Firestarter had an affect on me, and that was – meh.

It’s three star, that means ok. and that's what this is- just ok. Steve is a gifted author, and i have a lot of his work, but this felt flat to me. It is kinda dull, kinda drab. I found myself asking for it to hurry up and end already. This is the kind of scenario that would sum up the book for me: someone hearing some thing making a sound in a bedroom dresser and then checking drawer one – its not there; drawer two – its not there; drawer three, drawer four, drawer five, drawer six, drawer seven, drawer eight… ahhhh! Just jump out already...

there is no depth of dialog or compelling prose that typically separates the books from the movies. This is just a bitchin sci-fi story. I hate to say it but I think this would be a better movie than a book.

My other King ratings: Firestarter- 3; insomnia- 3; gunslinger (dark tower 1)- 5; dark tower two- 4, dark tower three- 4; the regulators- 5; desperation- 4; UR- 3 (barely); just after sunset- 3 (overall, but there were a couple of exceptions for the better); cell- 4/5; graveyard shift- 4; grey matter- 4; LT’s theory- 3 (barely); breathing method-3; I shudder at your touch (one story in collection of shorts)- 5; Mcsweeny’s Mammoth… (one story in collection of shorts)- 3.

for you the living. This is hardcore horror. I don’t mean that it is sexytime, xxx stuff. I mean this is gory, intense, brutal and raunchy. Hardcore. This is not for the weak or faint. This is for the gore hounds... the ogres.

This is the most hardcore book I have heard. I wonder if it is the gory-est, raunchy-est book on audible. I would not be surprised if it was. In fact I would be surprised, blown away, if there was worse. but, it is what it is.

SIDE NOTE – if this is your thing, the closest I have heard to this level of horror is Trapped by Jack Kilborne. but Trapped is not as intense. it is also a much better story.

well, Enjoy...

Inferno- This… is… terrible…

I hated every minute of this flaming turd. It is a dumbed down remake of Dante's story of hell from the Divine Comedy. This remake version is pathetic. For example: during the first three quarters of the story the main character didn't realize that his companion in hell (a resident of hell) who’s name is Benito and is a large, sharp-faced Italian, is suppose to be Benito Mussolini. Geeeze.

It is frustrating to even think of the story as I write this review. Just skip it. If it sounds interesting from the review, know that it is not.

Just read the Divine Comedy, or at least the part of it that related to hell named Inferno (from the Divine comedy).

Desperation and the Regulators have always been two of my favorite King stories. I read the books when they came out. The two are in a manner related. They are not sequels, nor are they part of a series. Rather they share characters and creeps but are stand alone stories. It is hard to explain. Both are equal in being excellent.

That the case I am happy that Penguin Audiobooks was the company that produced it. This is because they add special effects, sounds and background music to the story. That I am a fan of. I love the addition of sounds. Fiction with sound effects (especially horror stories) are more entertaining than those without. For Desperation the sound effects are stirring, timed for the suspense, and creepy. I love it.

In short both of these books have been turned into entertaining performances, they are great horror stories and time tested two of my favorite Kings.

rhetoric by Aristotle-

the story/content: it is the writings of Aristotle, I believe it is obvious to say that it is brilliant. The content is so poignant. There is much to learn from these writings. there is wisdom for learning a just and honorable life. However, as intelligent as it is, i must mention that it is a wee-bit dry at times (example: parts related to Political science or import/export).

The performance: outstanding. The sound quality of the recording is crystal clear. The narrator's voice is unique and fit perfectly to the content. His tone and timber are perfect. But what separates him, makes this 5 star performance, is his articulation. His phonetic lisps and enunciation are unlike any reader I have heard to date. He sounds to me like the quintessential English professor. And his performance make the listening so pleasant that it is easy for repeats thus to glean as much as the author would have intended.

SIDE NOTE – as positive as I am of this audiobook, I believe that "The Dream of Reason" is better. Again the narrator is perfect for the job but the content is easier to digest, has a greater fluidity and covers a broad range of philosophy instead of only Aristotle’s writings.

** = quote by mike patton

A Red Sun Also Rises: there was a truth, that little know, close to the beginning of the story. In fact it may be the first time I have heard it since realizing it myself. “ the more engaged I am with a task the less I feel the pain of my twisted bones”. It is powerful only less to its truth. This hooked me…

This is my first steampunk novel and my review is premature. but all-in-all, I am enjoying it. Considerably in fact. There is a good chance that I will finish it in one listening. That too is a first for me. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying this is fantastic five star stuff; this is just a couple of firsts & a good book. it begins in a manner that shows the author’s love of dickens. Once firmly set into a dickens’ backdrop the scenery drifts further and further to the fantasy. I assume this is standard of all the steampunk stories.

But here, with this one, the performance is way above average. The characters are distinct, their voice and delivery truly fit the personality of the story. And the portrayal of the bazaar characters took it to the next level. wonderful entertainment. Once I got to the proper-English bantering 4 legged oyster creatures I couldn't stop, but to write this review (I am just short of half way thru the book now).

A take on morals gives the story the feel of being more than a simple science fiction. social progress and religious interference on it seem to be leading towards some existential coda. The philosophy thus far is not overbearing the context.

The creatures, their descriptions, are clever and fantastic. The 4 legged oyster creatures pictured on the cover are example.

Yeah, I really am digging on this book. I hope that it stands comparable to the others in it’s genre.

Really this book is so terrible, so awful, I just couldn't believe that a story could be so bad. Uuugh.
I forgot to post a review when I read it. I was just so p’d that I wanted to have nothing to do with the damn thing. I wanted to forget it all together. and i had.
then today I just stumbled across it in my library and I knew I had to post something. I knew I was needed to help my fellow readers. I knew I needed to step up and save you from purchasing this POS!!!
unfortunately i don't remember any of the details to prove my case. But i just can't go back and listen to it any more. it is the worst story i have heard to date. if you want proof i got nothing, no specifics. all i can recommend is that you could look at my other reviews to see how my tastes run, and if we think alike then trust me...
Leave now and forget you saw the publishers review that made you think it sounds interesting. It is not. I am doing you a favor here… DON’T DO IT, DON’T BUY IT.

Zombies of Lake Woebegotton: i bet Goldilocks wood have liked it: not to silly not to stupid but just rite.

However Goldie probably didn't know s*** about zombies, but fortunately I do. At least a thing or two bout zombie stories. And this one is pretty good. It’s cute. Cute that is as far as a zombie story goes. It has good killing and gore and such, it is a zombie story after all. But it is a story of a small town, with small town folx and small town scenarios. The small town zombie story. If you have ever lived in a small town you'll know what I mean. If you have never lived in a small town you might not like it.

Now days, there are two types of zombie story: serious or funny. The funny ones are usually dumb. But the funny in this one is subtle-ish. It is small town funny. And that is what separates it from the funny ones that end up being dumb. And the humor is not a focus of the story.

there are a good series of character surprises that are truly surprising. like the old man school teacher who is a chainsaw serial killer in secret. Or the lady who is married to the guy that has paraphilia: person who enjoys sex with objects, like chairs or fire hydrants or cars.

I do have a pet-peeve when it comes to zombie stories: when they mention zombie movies or stories. Don’t know why this bugs me, but it does. Guess what – they do it here. I was bummed, at first. But they did it better or different than anyone had ever done it before: part of the guys liberal-arts class in college.

In short this story is not Chekhov, but zombie books never are. This is a nice break away from the hustle and bustle of serious literature, a fresh take on a dead genre.

yup – woebegone is a good time for the slightly twisted.

this is unlistenable. it is terrible. i cant stand it. i have never heard anything so terrible on audible. this is the bottom of their collection. i cant believe they charge money for this.

now be assured, friend, i like "vintage" programs. i like those that are old and those that sound old. but this is not vintage, this is garbage.

and and and it will not instant return; i have to call the operators to make the exchange.

geeeezzz

Moby Dick: “they” say that you either love it or hate it. I love it. …. The foreboding sermon, the poetic prose, the facts and the lessons of the old whaling game.

I believe the ppl that hate the book have two reasons to: the lengthy factual descriptions of the ships, the whales and the job… the other is the graphic nature of some of the descriptions and the overall job (the stripping of the whale blubber for exmple). The loveable side of the book is the passionate heart of the characters, the detailed explanations of their convictions, - hansom or hideous, and such detailed depiction of the scenes and story that it takes you to the time and the place.

So the book is both beautifully written and passionately told but also occasionaly dry and perhaps to some overly factual. So we get the love or hate it response from those that read it. I like the historical side and the detailed information. There many lessons of the trade and the ship and the job and a lot to learn from the book. and there are vivid and passionate characters living in a fantastic and powerful story. There are many a lesson on the nature of the soul of men from all kinds of trade and temper.

What convinced me to “read” it, aside from the fact that it is one f the most heralded books of all time, is that I learned the story is based on several true experiences of both the author and some other ships of the trade in the time of the book. the author was employed on a whaling ship. He lived the life and learned the trade. He hear the stories. He traveled the world and he was tried by the times. He took all of this and made from it one of the greatest works of fiction human history has ever known.

So if you have an analytical mind and like to learn the scientific side of the story’s content AND you have a taste for deeply developed characters with complex natures and powerful emotions then this is for you. If you are not both then you may be able to live your life without the lengthy sailors yarn.

FAV quote: “better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian”

BTW- the movie version with Patrick Stewart is a wonderful rendition of the story. the actor playing Queequeg is just outstanding. His portray of the character was a perfect visual for me during the reading of this book (I saw the movie first, it put a face to each character)

(WARNING explicit language)
I knew I wouldn’t like it the moment after the first sentence: autumn shnickle feels Bennie’s finger tip trace the top of her thigh along the lower front hem of her boy shorts toward her p---y. Sheeesh. I mean really, what the F?!? with a start like that I knew I was in for a let down. And I was let down. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting Dickens, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so shallow. Adventure story I knew cuz I read the first one of the series (Beat the Reaper). So a bloody, wild, thriller is what I expected. I sometimes like bloody and thrilling and wild. But Wild Thing pales in comparison to it’s predecessor. The Reaper had wit and medical facts and complex structure and pizzazz. Wild Thing is just jock rock. Real let down. The wild thing bites… (but the first one was almost pretty good).