Johnald2

I cannot believe that I was fooled into buying yet another Stephen King book despite being disappointed so many times before. The primary thing that gets me is the fact that I love how he crafts the characters and opens each story and the only reason I do NOT like them is he NEVER ends a story in a way that is even remotely believable or interesting ("horror" does not have to mean "fantasy" though it seems to for Stephen King). So while I finish every one of his books with "literary blue balls" after the first 25 hours of teasing finally leads to an anticlimactic end, I then spend the next month thinking about the potential the tale had and wondering if the next one may end better. Unfortunately, I haven't found that "one" yet! Not Bag of Bones, It, Duma Key, etc, etc, etc. Instead I had better make a simple mental note to my future self: Avoid all stories where the hero prevails because of his ability to either make shadow puppets (Needful Things) OR paint pictures that come to life (Duma Key) and most certainly run the other way if a story has a house that holds the evil spirits of dead people (Bag of Bones) because if those premises aren't stupid enough, the ending absolutely will be. Reviewers who gave this, or in my opinion any other Stephen King book, 4 or even 5 stars either needs to raise their standards significantly or seek help! If you ABSOLUTELY need to read a Stephen King book, get The Shining; while it also has some pretty ridiculous parts and premises, it is at least somewhat worthwhile based upon its premise (psychological thriller vs. fantasy).

Where to start?! Oh I know...I LOATHE THIS WOMAN! More of a know-it-all, conceded, snobby bitch I have never seen, despite having very little reason for being so. The sad part is that she took an interesting topic, a great story from her personal life & an opportunity to simply sit and simply tell tales of what she has seen during her "career" as a profiler and turned it into a platform to spew criticisms of every person, place or thing she has ever come in contact with. ALL schools are bad so she home schooled her kids and now they are the most amazing human beings on planet earth. Police have to pursue justice in a formal manner so she sees all cops as useless a-holes and, therefore, decides to save the world for us by amazingly teaching herself criminal profiling and striking out on her own like a superhero. A karate instructor puts on a class to help women defend themselves so, being a self-proclaimed karate master, she actually goes to the class just to belittle him in front of everyone by stating the OBVIOUS fact (to her anyway) that you CANNOT defend yourself against a sneak attack (then she proceeds to actually take over the class and shows everyone how to successfully defend against a sneak attack). She even criticizes other private investigators for treating their careers as a business and actually expecting to be paid for working their cases when they cannot guarantee that they can solve it! How she can question anyone's skills or intelligence when she allowed what I officially consider to be THE CRAZIEST PERSON EVER to move into her home and rent a room in order to keep her from having to go to work in order to home school her kids and (unfortunately I know this next part because she made it quite clear that she is brilliant for doing so) breast feed her children until 2 years old. You may wonder what that has to do with criminal profiling, but that is actually in the section in which she tells you why you are an a-hole for having your children sleep in separate beds from you and, even worse, have a life outside of their mommy and daddy. She even implies that because she did these things for her kids they are officially guaranteed a life free of rape, murder and horror (and, believe me, just as free of fun).

Here is my own twist ending: LISTEN TO THIS BOOK because the guy in the beginning is so crazy that it would be just plain funny if he weren't a murderer. Instead, hearing the stories about his antics makes you laugh to yourself while shaking your head but, trust me, they are still amazing stories to hear. The true laugh out loud part is that there is no way that someone naive enough to allow a guy like that to move in to their home as a tenant in the first place could EVER learn the common sense needed to do this job with any success. Either that or the whole field of profiling is B.S. Oh wait, she actually implies that it IS B.S. at several parts when she talks about other, REAL crimonologists like John Douglas and complains that there is NO WAY they could ever REALLY know what they say they know about individuals in their cases unless they are cheating and hiding the fact that they already knew the whole story BEFORE profiling the killers! That pretty much sums up my feelings about profiling after reading this one book on the subject so far, though I am sure this is only because SHE is an idiot. Therefore, I am on to John Douglas's Mind Hunter next to set things straight!

HORRIBLE! That could be describing the writing, the narration or the pain in my stomach after listening to this abomination. If you want Florida serial killers, stick with Dexter.

I'd rate it ZERO if I could! There's not much to say other than: HORRIBLE! The only explanation for this book even being available publicly is that the author knows someone at the top of the "food chain" or paid someone off. The only thing worse than the writing is the hideous, worse-than-amateurish heavy metal guitar playing that separates each chapter. Skip this unless you have an urge to hear THE WORST audible title by far!

I bought this book because I am a fan of Dr. Drew's from his various shows and appearances. He is very well thought out and seems to have his life together (though you never REALLY know!) which makes him an unusual person these days! After "reading" this book I am even more impressed by his knowledge in that he has such a thorough understanding of our society and culture. Therefore, when he talks about how the people and situations in this book are bringing us down as a whole (a problem I think ALL of us who have seen the "Flavor of Love" or "Simple Life" realize but do not always think about on this level), it seems to shift from a comical situation to a dire one that will significantly affect the lives of our children (and so on) if we keep heading in this direction. The sad part is that I have recommended this book to dozens of friends who laugh it off saying how much they love reality TV & crazy celebrity antics which suggests that, despite the importance of this book, it will not likely slow our decent down the slippery slope we are currently on. But at least I still highly recommend it!

I just HAD to keep on listening to this book all the way through to the end because I assumed there HAD to be SOMETHING interesting in it considering that the guy who wrote it opened the book by stating that Elvis was his best friend. While he did say at that point that he "cannot necessarily say that he was Elvis's best friend" in return, I thought he was just being modest...HE WASN'T! Hour after hour passed in which very bland stories would be labored through only to reveal NOTHING of interest except for the fact that Elvis was able to keep his "Pee-Ons" enamored simply by his presence even after having known him for 10 or more years! During EVERY story in the book this pitiful scrub of Elvis's would be practically giggling like a school-girl for having been "actually sitting at a table with Elvis Presley and -----". GET OVER IT! For someone who is supposed to have been a GOOD (let alone "the BEST") friend of ANYONE, the amazement of being with them during a mundane dinner party or backstage at the 1000th gig SHOULD HAVE worn off after the first 10 years of being with them if you REALLY were that close. It went from annoying to pathetic to just plain pissing me off that I wasted so much time listening to a book by an obvious "hanger-on" that was simply used by Elvis for years (so much that Elvis actually screwed this guy's girlfriend behind his back!) until finally Elvis died and this loser was left with nothing on his resume but having been Elvis's gopher and shoe-shine boy well into his late 30's! Even worse:I know there are people out there that would DIE to be "this guy" just to be near whatever "celebrity of the moment" they are able to hook up with. I wanted a story about Elvis by an inside guy to hear some cool stories about his REAL LIFE--at least I know now not to bother buying the Howard Stern book by that berry-face Ralph Cirella!

I am torn. On the one hand it is a fair story overall and, because of the shortage of travel stories I was interested in hearing at the time, I stuck with it and was able to get through it without much disappointment. However, my problem with it stems from the fact that there is NO WAY that this story could be a factual memoir, as it is marketed to be. While I understand that stories and timelines have to be embelished in any memoir to make it flow, this is supposed to be about a time in 1959 when the author was 11 years old. There is simply NO WAY that he was able to recount a year of his life at that tender age without forgetting the contents of a single meal or conversation (as is portrayed in the book). While you may wonder why this is a big deal to me, it is simply because IF THE STORIES IN THE BOOK WERE FABRICATED BY THE AUTHOR AND NOT TRUE EVENTS, he should be locked up because he is disturbed! Story after story of child molestation, necrophilia and incest with no point other than the apparent goal of entertainment during a book that is supposed to be about a father and son going cross country makes for one if the most disturbing stories I have read! It is one thing to discuss these topics if the author is describing how an individual worked through the associated trauma or even related the events to something else going on in the story but in this book they are simply told and passed by. IT WAS SO F#CKED UP! To me, the book reeked of a guy who thought of some disturbing and shocking stories about farting, defecating and the stuff mentioned above and worked them into a loose account of a year in his life in order to sell a book.