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Jim "The Impatient"

I will listen to NO boring book. Old Fav's,Card, King , Hobb. New Fav's, Hill, Scalzi, Sawyer, Interested in Lansdale, Crouch, Konrath

Springfield, MO, United States | Member Since 2014

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HELPFUL VOTES
  • 609 reviews
  • 637 ratings
  • 1253 titles in library
  • 41 purchased in 2015
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  • George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'

    • ORIGINAL (7 hrs and 5 mins)
    • By George Carlin
    • Narrated By George Carlin
    Overall
    (1348)
    Performance
    (1219)
    Story
    (1205)

    If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.

    Rick says: "Like a Cast of Thousands"
    "Tiger Woods is not Black"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    According to George Carlin, Tiger Woods is not black, skin color has nothing to do with it. I believe Carlin thought he was black. Pipe smokers should just suck d#@k, People who walk around listening to walkmans are arrogant pricks. As I was walking my dog listening to Carlin on my headphones, thinking about smoking my pipe when I got home, I found this a strange way to start out a book. Oh just before that he talked how other comedians where idiots who had hope and always offered advice to fix things and how they are political and he is not. I then listened to seven hours of how he could make the world better and his views on politics. He starts out by pretty much bashing everybody. He thinks people in the midwest are soft and boring, the people in the South are all bigots, etc. The only ones worth a sh@t are the New Yorkers, cause they live everyday knowing they can get mugged.

    Ignoring the constant put downs, negativity, and trying to make himself seem different by just saying off the wall things he thinks might piss someone off, I find him to be very, very funny and smart. (Although anybody can bitch, that does not take smarts.) I love almost all his routines on the English language and how Americans use them. Like the routine about getting on an Airplane. He is getting in, not on and all the terms used in flying, like the Terminal, etc. I love how he describes baseball, how he feels about those who want to save the planet, his comments on dogs, prostitution, time, germs, what true sports are, cats, etc.

    He puts down yuppies (he who wore a pony tail for how long?), businessmen, people with money, (he was probably a millionaire), whites (he who was lily white), anyone who lives anyplace other then New York ( he moved to California). He calls several people arrogant, yet to be a comedian or a writer don't you have to believe you are so important other people will pay to hear you or buy your books or buy the audible versions of your books that you read. When your busy being arrogant and putting everyone else down it is hard to see your own faults.

    I gave this four stars, cause he is entertaining and gives you plenty to think about. You just need to be prepared to have your self put down in some way, it will happen, brush it off and listen to what he really has to say.

    34 of 40 people found this review helpful
  • Alpha and Omega: A Novella from On the Prowl

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs and 25 mins)
    • By Patricia Briggs
    • Narrated By Holter Graham
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (942)
    Performance
    (867)
    Story
    (875)

    Anna never knew werewolves existed until the night she survived a violent attack…and became one herself. After three years at the bottom of the pack, she’d learned to keep her head down and never, ever trust dominant males. But Anna is that rarest kind of werewolf: an Omega. And one of the most powerful werewolves in the country will recognize her value as a pack member—and as his mate.

    Kindle Customer says: "The beginning of the Alpha and Omega"
    "HE DID NOT KNOW EVERY WEREWOLF IN CHICAGO"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This is listed as a romance, yet? This was probably the most smartly written werewolf book I have ever read. Briggs understands wolves/dogs. Included in the story are the smells, sounds, and noticeable body movements of a canine. Anybody who owns a dog, knows that a dog's world consists of these three things even more keenly then eyesight. My dogs know my body language and pay more attention to it then any human. This is obvious in Briggs writing. I did not see this so much as a romance, although I believe it becomes more so in the series. I enjoyed it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Unstrung: An Unwind Story

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 25 mins)
    • By Neal Shusterman, Michelle Knowlden
    • Narrated By Luke Daniels
    Overall
    (110)
    Performance
    (106)
    Story
    (106)

    How did Lev Calder move from an unwillingly escaped Tithe to a clapper? In this revealing short story, Neal Shusterman opens a window on Lev’s adventures between the time he left CyFi and showed up at the Graveyard. Pulling elements from Neal Shusterman’s critically acclaimed Unwind and giving hints about what is to come in the riveting sequel, UnWholly, this short story is not to be missed.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "WE LEARN DEEPLY"
    "WE LEARN DEEPLY"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    PARTS PIRATES
    Not sure this answered any questions? If you are a huge Un Fan, you will want to listen. If you are just a warm fan, it will not be that interesting. Book one is great, everyone should read that. I have not read book Two yet, but I will. Lev spends time with some Indians, sorry Native Americans, sorry Chance People and he is treated well, But and it is a big But.

    CHANCE PEOPLE
    The newness of the whole Un, may be wearing off on me and I found the Chance People with their stilted talk and different beliefs, just a bit boring. Not that their is anything wrong with believing in Animal Spirits and transplanting animal hearts into humans is not any more unbelievable then being Un, I just could not get into it. I might be too old?

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Cold City: A Repairman Jack Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 19 mins)
    • By F. Paul Wilson
    • Narrated By Alexander Cendese
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (604)
    Performance
    (526)
    Story
    (521)

    If you’ve never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It’s 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan’s rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he’ll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.

    Andrew Pollack says: "Fun, as long you don't think too much"
    "ME AND JULIO DOWN BY THE SCHOOL YARD"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO WON'T HAVE A BEER WITH YOU
    I very much enjoyed this book. The miles went by very quickly as I listened. It is not great literature, the story ain't that complicated and there are not a whole lot of twists or turns. It was the characters that made this book. Every character in this book is that, a character, not your everyday Tom, Dick and Harry. Often they make you laugh. This was written in 2012, but it takes place in 1990 and has men with mullets, bag phones, etc.

    THE EARLY BIRD GETS BREAKFAST, BUT IT'S A ROUGH DAY FOR THE WORM
    This is about how the other half lives, no not that half, the underground half, the off the grid half. Some may have trouble with what these people do for a living. These are criminals, but they are criminals with morals. There are certain things they won't do and they police there own. I don't agree with how they live and I would never live such a life, but it was fun watching them do it. Fun is the best way to describe this book. So, put your BEER GOGGLES on and have fun.

    I don't think I have ever heard this narrator before, but he was great. Alexander Cendese, I must remember that name.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Amityville Horror

    • UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 27 mins)
    • By Jay Anson
    • Narrated By Ray Porter
    Overall
    (471)
    Performance
    (391)
    Story
    (395)

    In December 1975, the Lutz family moved into their new home on suburban Long Island. George and Kathleen Lutz knew that, one year earlier, Ronald DeFeo had murdered his parents, brothers, and sisters in the house, but the property - complete with boathouse and swimming pool - and the price were too good to pass up. This is the shocking true story of an American dream that turned into a nightmare beyond imagining for the Lutz family, who were forced to flee their new home in terror.

    JRM says: "Maybe, Maybe Not"
    "Ditto, Flavius"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    If it was true, it would be scary. It is written as if it is true, yet you know it is not. I have read plenty of made up stories that were scary, see: J.A. Konrath, Stephen King, Blake Crouch or Dean Koontz.
    How many times do you have to find your wife floating out the window before you leave the house? For this guy it was more then once. It was very convenient that no one had to go work. Are all priests this big of a coward? What kind of parent subjects their three kids to this for so long?

    You want scary seek out the authors listed above.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Snow Queen

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 14 mins)
    • By Hans Christian Andersen
    • Narrated By Julia Whelan
    Overall
    (4660)
    Performance
    (4084)
    Story
    (4123)

    This classic tale is a fantastical fable of two dear friends - one of whom goes astray and is literally lost to the north woods, while the other undertakes an epic journey to rescue him. This charming, strange, and wonderful story is a timeless allegory about growing up and the challenges of staying true to one's self, and it served as the wintry inspiration for the blockbuster hit Frozen.

    Sara says: "Strange & Fascinating"
    "Snoozzer"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This is not seven connected stories, it is seven chapters. It was also quite the snoozer. It may be free, but it is a waste of time.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Free: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 15 mins)
    • By Washington Irving
    • Narrated By Tom Mison
    Overall
    (2234)
    Performance
    (2046)
    Story
    (2050)

    In the secluded Dutch territory of Sleepy Hollow, nebbish schoolmaster Ichabod Crane competes with the town hero for the hand of Katrina Van Tassel, the 18-year-old daughter and sole child of a wealthy farmer. As Crane leaves a party at the Van Tassel's farm one autumn evening, he is pursued by the Headless Horseman, an apparition said to be the ghost of a Hessian trooper snuffed out by a stray cannonball.

    Sara says: "Treasures Of Jolly Autumn"
    "American History"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    The main reason to read this is for the American History. This gives a good look at what life was like for Teachers in early America. The horror itself is not so much, more of a fun prank that scared our main character.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • A Brief History of Cockroaches and Rats: A Digsuting Adult Guide

    • UNABRIDGED (26 mins)
    • By Steve Campen
    • Narrated By Steve Campen
    Overall
    (2)
    Performance
    (2)
    Story
    (2)

    A Brief History of Cockroaches and Rats is a brief but hilarious look at the history of those crawling, scuttling pests that everyone loves to hate. Cockroaches date back to the time of the dinosaurs and they have evolved over the years to be able to survive without air for more than forty-five minutes! Rats, unlike cockroaches who like toenails and eyelashes, like to eat their own poo.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "Yuck!!"
    "Yuck!!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I have always been amazed by rats and insects and the more I learn the more amazed I am. I believe I had heard most of this before, but it was cool to hear it again. Roaches are almost indestructible. If you are into gross stuff, then this is for you.

    My only complaint was occasionally they would go to Professor So and So and he would speak in a heavy fake accent. They did this to add variety, but I could rarely tell what he was saying. This makes up only a small portion of the narration. This is also very much adult.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Pandora's Box: Romance For Men

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs and 1 min)
    • By Jack Icefloe Jackson
    • Narrated By Serena Scott Thomas
    Overall
    (10)
    Performance
    (9)
    Story
    (9)

    Realizing that the end-of-the-world can only be averted by Icefloe's superior sexual prowess, President Obama calls on him to use his penis to save us all. This carnal mission will take Icefloe from The Hot Nuns of Assisi (hidden beneath the Vatican by the Pope) to The Nazi Babes of the SS in their terrible lair on Fuhrer Island. Sick, twisted, and profane, Jack Icefloe Jackson is America's newest hero, and Romance for Men: Pandora's Box is its most hilarious new book!

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "Get past the first hour."
    "Get past the first hour."
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    This starts out pretty silly and I was sure I would not finish the book, but I wanted to give it at least an hour. Once I got to chapter 16 and past the introduction and the wife and her sisters, then the book got tight and interesting. Then the story started and all the silliness became witty, lots of fun and I loved it. Anyone that is offended by foul language will not enjoy one minute of this. At first it may seem pointless, but once you see what Jackson must go through to win over Pandora, well, it turns out to be a Romance.

    I also enjoyed the wicked witch, as a shoe salesman. I hope there are sequels and that she is in them. This is a good stand alone work, but is also set up for continued adventures. I want this to get popular so this YA author will write more for the adult world. I will also listen to his YA novel that is offered at audible, as he is a good writer.

    I was not a fan of Go To F A Sleep, but fans of that should love this book.

    It sort of reminded me of that WIZARD STORY with the witches, scarecrows, tin man, lion, etc...

    At first I thought a female narrator was the wrong gender, but she does a great job and at the end of the story proves why she was chosen.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Bethany's Sin

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 50 mins)
    • By Robert McCammon
    • Narrated By Ray Porter
    Overall
    (56)
    Performance
    (54)
    Story
    (54)

    Bethany's Sin is a tiny, picturesque village in rural Pennsylvania. Its tree-lined streets, beautiful houses, and manicured exteriors offer - or appear to offer - both peace and a place of refuge. Evan Reid, a man haunted by his memories of the Vietnam War and by a history of viscerally disturbing dreams, comes to the village with his wife and daughter, hoping to make a fresh start after a series of discouraging setbacks. At first, all goes as planned.

    Kim Venatries says: "All New Meaning to Battle of the Sexes!"
    "IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO TALK, PERHAPS YOU WISH TO"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    SCREAM.
    I am following a person who gave this five stars. I will have to disagree slightly. It was probably very good 30 years ago, but compared to today it is a little slow and a little talky. I liked it and listen to the whole thing. It is different and I stayed with it to find out what was going on. This involves a sort of werewolf, amazon clan? It is a scary town for men to live in.
    One of the main characters, Kay, is not very empathic to her veteran husband. I did not care for her at all.

    A little less talk, more building of suspense, less evil eye crap, and this would have made five stars.

    Ray Porter is one of the coolest narrators out there.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Truth about Coffee

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs and 12 mins)
    • By Marina Kushner
    • Narrated By Timothy McKean
    Overall
    (7)
    Performance
    (7)
    Story
    (7)

    The Truth About Coffee uncovers short- and long-term health issues associated with coffee consumption. The book reveals why women should avoid coffee, the role of coffee in adrenal depletion, and how coffee affects pH balance, and ultimately, health.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "COFFEE REPLACES BEER AS BREAKFAST DRINK"
    "COFFEE REPLACES BEER AS BREAKFAST DRINK"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    The above refers to the history of coffee and at one time most people drank beer for breakfast. (OH, the good ole days).

    The biggest problem with this book is all the May, might, and could's that are included and the lack of fact. I do not blame the author and am glad she wrote the book. Studies cost a lot of money and many studies are paid for by large corporations. The coffee companies are not going to pay for a study on how coffee is bad for you. Often when you hear on the news that a study showed something is good for you, that can be traced back to a company that will benefit.

    If even one of the cancers that the author says could be caused by coffee is true, it is worth giving up. Heart disease seems to be even more likely. I know that coffee causes my blood pressure to go up. I have quit several times, but usually end up going back. I spend hours on the road, love the taste of coffee, and nothing else seems to satisfy. Yet, I went ahead and quit a week ago. If I know it raises my blood pressure, it can't be healthy. Last year at this time I was drinking 40 ounces a day. Months ago, I cut back to 20 ounces and know I have quit it all together. I am lucky, that I have not suffered any side effects. Many people get headaches and/or feel tired. I have not had that problem and have been drinking tea. Tea does not satisfy as well and I still crave coffee, but for my health!

    It is not so much the caffeine, but the delivery system. Decaf is even worse for you. This is not a long book and it is worth your time to listen and decide for yourself. It could save your life.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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