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Jim "The Impatient"

I will listen to NO boring book. Old Fav's,Card, King , Hobb. New Fav's, Hill, Scalzi, Sawyer, Interested in Lansdale, Crouch, Konrath

Springfield, MO, United States | Member Since 2010

1525
HELPFUL VOTES
  • 562 reviews
  • 589 ratings
  • 1157 titles in library
  • 211 purchased in 2014
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  • George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'

    • ORIGINAL (7 hrs and 5 mins)
    • By George Carlin
    • Narrated By George Carlin
    Overall
    (1220)
    Performance
    (1098)
    Story
    (1087)

    If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.

    Rick says: "Like a Cast of Thousands"
    "Tiger Woods is not Black"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    According to George Carlin, Tiger Woods is not black, skin color has nothing to do with it. I believe Carlin thought he was black. Pipe smokers should just suck d#@k, People who walk around listening to walkmans are arrogant pricks. As I was walking my dog listening to Carlin on my headphones, thinking about smoking my pipe when I got home, I found this a strange way to start out a book. Oh just before that he talked how other comedians where idiots who had hope and always offered advice to fix things and how they are political and he is not. I then listened to seven hours of how he could make the world better and his views on politics. He starts out by pretty much bashing everybody. He thinks people in the midwest are soft and boring, the people in the South are all bigots, etc. The only ones worth a sh@t are the New Yorkers, cause they live everyday knowing they can get mugged.

    Ignoring the constant put downs, negativity, and trying to make himself seem different by just saying off the wall things he thinks might piss someone off, I find him to be very, very funny and smart. (Although anybody can bitch, that does not take smarts.) I love almost all his routines on the English language and how Americans use them. Like the routine about getting on an Airplane. He is getting in, not on and all the terms used in flying, like the Terminal, etc. I love how he describes baseball, how he feels about those who want to save the planet, his comments on dogs, prostitution, time, germs, what true sports are, cats, etc.

    He puts down yuppies (he who wore a pony tail for how long?), businessmen, people with money, (he was probably a millionaire), whites (he who was lily white), anyone who lives anyplace other then New York ( he moved to California). He calls several people arrogant, yet to be a comedian or a writer don't you have to believe you are so important other people will pay to hear you or buy your books or buy the audible versions of your books that you read. When your busy being arrogant and putting everyone else down it is hard to see your own faults.

    I gave this four stars, cause he is entertaining and gives you plenty to think about. You just need to be prepared to have your self put down in some way, it will happen, brush it off and listen to what he really has to say.

    33 of 39 people found this review helpful
  • Night Watch: Watch, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 50 mins)
    • By Sergei Lukyanenko
    • Narrated By Paul Michael
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (617)
    Performance
    (474)
    Story
    (483)

    Night Watch is a world as elaborate and imaginative as Tolkien or the best Asimov. Living among us are the "Others", an ancient race of humans with supernatural powers who swear allegiance to either the Dark or the Light. A thousand-year treaty has maintained the balance of power, but an ancient prophecy decrees that one supreme "Other" will rise up and tip the balance. When a young boy with extraordinary powers emerges, will the forces of the Light be able to keep the Dark from corrupting the boy and destroying the world?

    Parusski says: "Lyrical, haunting and engrossing!"
    "INFINITE GAME OF CHESS"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    IN THE TWILIGHT
    This book consists of three stories, with Anton as the main character in each. If all I had listened to would have been the first story Destiny, I would have given this five stars. Destiny is so good I almost gave the whole book five stars. To me this was the most intelligent fantasy I have ever listened to or read. This was one of the few times in my life, that I got it! This is an infinite chess game between good and evil and both sides are right and both sides are wrong. There is some action, but this is mostly a head game. You could compare this to Simon R. Green's, In The Night Side or China Mieville's The City, The City and maybe even Butcher's, Dresden's books, only this is better, more stimulating to the brain. Some have compared SL to King. Both use scary or fantastical elements to get a message across. King message is usually political, where as SL is more psychological. SL shows how doing good can lead to evil and vise versa. That good and evil is not a black and white issue. The second story, Among HIs Own Kind, is good, but not as good as Destiny. I would give the second story four stars.

    AN EXPERIENCED KAMIKAZE
    The third story, All for our Kind, is bad. Anton becomes a big whiney baby. Even the characters in the story complain about his whining. The plot does not develop until half way through the story and then it is not enough to save the story.

    I would suggest buying the book, but only for the first two thirds. The first story is worth your credit. If you are not enjoying the third story, quit the book. Don't be one of those who have to finish every book they start. I used to be that way, until I realized that I was only punishing myself, which was stupid.

    MY FRIEND AND ENEMY
    I think I will try the next book in the series, even though it goes against my rules. If I don't give the first book five stars, I don't go on to the next. If he can repeat the genius of Destiny, it will be worth it.

    Paul Michael is a very good narrator and if you listen closely, he sounds an awful lot like Rod Serling. Even if you don't agree, you have to agree his talent makes this book a better listen then a read.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Elvenbane

    • UNABRIDGED (18 hrs and 52 mins)
    • By Andre Norton, Mercedes Lackey
    • Narrated By Aasne Vigesaa
    Overall
    (686)
    Performance
    (600)
    Story
    (594)

    Two masters of epic fantasy have combined in this brilliant collaboration to create a rousing tale. This is the story of Shana, a half-breed born of the forbidden union of an Elvenlord father with a human mother. Her exiled mother dead, Shana was rescued and raised by dragons, a proud, ancient race who existed unbeknownst to elven or human kind. From birth, Shana was the embodiment of the Prophecy that the all-powerful Elvenlords feared. Her destiny is the enthralling adventure of a lifetime.

    Jo Dangerously says: "A fun listen"
    "Totally Different Authors and Styles"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    WHEN AN ELVENLORD WAS UNHAPPY, IT WAS HIS HUMANS , WHO USUALLY SUFFERED.
    Chapter one is great. It is dark and very adult. I like dark and thought I was really going to like this. The Elves have captured Earth and turned humans into slaves. The best a human male can expect to be is a gladiator and a woman a concubine to an Elf who will not beat her. It is the first time I know of that Elves are depicted as bad guys and they are really mean.

    The dragons are not really dragons, they are shape shifters. I even thought that was interesting. Around chapter three we obviously change authors and we go from an adult dark fantasy to something written for six year olds. I might have been able to hang on if the book had been 10-12 hours, but 19? I had better books to listen to.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Ultimate Guide to Cycling Nutrition: Maximize Your Potential

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs and 19 mins)
    • By Joseph Correa (Certified Sports Nutritionist)
    • Narrated By Andrea Erickson
    Overall
    (4)
    Performance
    (4)
    Story
    (4)

    The Ultimate Guide to Cycling Nutrition will teach you how to increase your RMR (resting metabolic rate) to accelerate your metabolism and help you change your body for good. Learn how to get in top shape and reach your ideal weight through smart nutrition, so that you can perform at your very best. Eating complex carbohydrates, protein, and natural fats in the right amount and percentages, as well as increasing your RMR will make you faster, more agile, and more resistant.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "Buy the paperback"
    "Buy the paperback"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I got this mostly for my wife. She and several of our friends are serious cyclists. My wife has knee problems, so she does this, swims and lifts weights. She should get in about 3,200 miles this year. The benefits are that I have a 56 year old wife with an ass most of the college students she teaches would envy. The draw back is the expense and the time. My wife bought a used bike for $1000 and we have a friend who has a $6,000 bike. Most people will spend around $2500. That is only the beginning. A pair of bike pants, runs over $100. And there are more expenses, much more. Then a bike ride of 40 to 50 miles takes about four hours once you get started. Several of the bikers try to ride 100 miles a week.

    The audio book
    As an audio book, this book is the worse. It is certainly not something to listen to as you are driving. The main part of the book is a list of foods and portions. You need to take notes, basically you need to rewrite the book as you listen. I can not believe there was not a PDF with this. If you are a serious rider, get the paperback.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Emperor's Soul

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs and 55 mins)
    • By Brandon Sanderson
    • Narrated By Angela Lin
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1064)
    Performance
    (965)
    Story
    (977)

    New York Times best-selling author Brandon Sanderson is widely celebrated for his Mistborn Trilogy and contribution to the final three books of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. In The Emperor's Soul, a Forger named Shai can copy and re-create any item by using magic to rewrite its history. After being condemned to death for attempting to steal the emperor's scepter, Shai is given one final chance. She' ll be allowed to live if she can create a new soul for the emperor, who hovers near death.

    debbie says: "A Great Short Novella that is Long in Story"
    "YOU KNOW YOUR HORSEFLESH"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    WALLS CAN'T THINK, BUT THAT DOESN'T KEEP THEM FROM CARING.
    Four hours was the perfect length for this novella and for Sanderson's genius. If you have not read Sanderson before (and I don't know what rock you have been living under) then this is a great place to start. Sanderson has practically rewritten the fantasy genre. He has set new, higher standards. Fantasy is no longer just Dragons and Sorcerers, it is stories with depth and characters.

    AS GOOD AS YOU ARE, SOMEONE ELSE COULD BE BETTER
    Sanderson has not yet replaced Robin Hobb as my favorite fantasy writer, but he is getting close. He can write the long stuff, (The Way of Kings) and he can write the short stuff, like this. What is most amazing, is his abilities to come up with different magic and make them as interesting as the last totally different magic he wrote about. The Way of Kings, Elantris, The Rithmatist, The Emperor's Soul and Mistborn are all different, but great. He is not stuck in one universe. I will have to mention that I was not a fan of Steelheart or Warbreaker, but they were not terrible either.

    BOREDOM MADE PEOPLE EASY TO MANIPULATE
    Did I mention that this guy is a genius?

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • A Plague Upon Your Family: Zombie Fallout, Book 2

    • UNABRIDGED (10 hrs and 59 mins)
    • By Mark Tufo
    • Narrated By Sean Runnette
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (2114)
    Performance
    (1965)
    Story
    (1974)

    The Talbots are evacuating their home amidst a zombie apocalypse. Mankind is on the edge of extinction as a new dominant, mindless opponent scours the landscape in search of food, which just so happens to be noninfected humans. The Talbots have escaped Little Turtle, but to what end? On the run, they find themselves encountering a far vaster evil than the one that has already beset them. As they travel across the countryside they soon learn that there are more than just zombies to be fearful of....

    AudioBookReviewer says: "Sequals Are Not Always Bad"
    "I Hate Mike Talbot!!"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    BUT PARDON THE PUN
    I have given four stars to Calis Rose and Timothy. I think I gave three stars to Zombie Fallout book one. I like Mark Tufo, but I hate this character. Every single line is a middle school joke or pun. I might have laughed once in seven hours. It was like a 1970 sitcom without the laugh track. JEAN LOOKED SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED. If there was a story, I totally missed it. I have gotten bored with a lot of books, but this one made me mad and the longer I listened the madder I got. I had to quit listening to let my blood pressure settle. I have a sense of humor, I love Richard Kadry's Sandman Slim and Maberry's Joe Ledger. They are both characters who make continual wise cracks and I laugh. Talbot is just annoying.

    CASH WAS NOT A MENSA MEMBER

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Call to Arms: The Corps Series, Book 2

    • UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 3 mins)
    • By W. E. B. Griffin
    • Narrated By Dick Hill
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (573)
    Performance
    (513)
    Story
    (514)

    The attack on Pearl Harbor swept America into the raging heart of the war. The stormy South Pacific presented a daring new challenge, and the men of the Corps were ready to fight. An elite fraternity united by a glorious tradition of courage and honor, the Marine Raiders were bound to a triumphant destiny.

    Aser Tolentino says: "The USMC Goes to War against Japan, and Itself"
    "Chick Lit"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    THAT YOU TRUST ME AND LOVE ME
    I listened to book one and wrote a glowing review on it. I bought this book, because I liked book one. At the half way point, we still had not gotten into the war. Seven hours of a military book and no action. Instead the book was a love story. Some of it taken directly out of book one, but in book one where it was a side story, here along with another love story, it takes center stage. I wanted to learn about the war, instead I was told that marines are attracted to sluts and attract sluts.

    FOR SOME REASON YOU BRING OUT THE BITCH IN ME.
    I mentioned in book one that I found it odd that a boy from Pennsylvania, from a poor home, where he was abused and who went no future then high school would speak Chinese. I also mentioned that the Chinese speak many languages with two main languages and the Chinese often have trouble understanding each other. Someone must have pointed this out to Griffin, cause in this book he says the boy speaks two Chinese languages. This seems even more improbable to me. In this book the second main character is a born pilot. In the past he had no interest in planes at all. We are even told that this happens maybe one in one hundred thousand recruits. The instructor had never seen it until our hero shows up. I have two more Griffin books in my library, I sure hope they are as good as book one of this series and that they are believable and not Chick Lit.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Gates of Sleep: Elemental Masters

    • UNABRIDGED (14 hrs and 31 mins)
    • By Mercedes Lackey
    • Narrated By Kayla Fell
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (207)
    Performance
    (149)
    Story
    (151)

    In the tradition of her acclaimed fairy-tale-inspired novel, The Serpent's Shadow, best-selling author Mercedes Lackey re-imagines Sleeping Beauty-as a dark and enchanting Edwardian fantasy.Marina is the cherished daughter of the wealthy Roeswood family, practioners of Elemental Magic. But evil portents have warned her parents that Marina will be killed before her 18th birthday-by the hand of her own aunt.

    Kaylon says: "Fantastic and compelling!"
    "WHAT KIND OF GOWNS DID SHE BRING?"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    IT WASN'T HER BUSINESS WHY ELIZABETH WOULD NOT MARRY HIM.
    Your may be wondering why a He-Man like me would read this. The truth is I read the first book in this series and liked it. I have read some of Lackey's stand alone novels and liked them, such as Take a Thief and Brightly Burning. I also enjoyed Owl Flight. This had a good start in Chapter One, with this mean spirited witch putting a death curse on baby Mirana. In the next chapter Mirana is talking to water sprites and seeing the magical world, others can not see and I am still with it. Then we get into teenage angst and talking about hats, gowns and corsets.

    This was obviously written for the female audience and I am sure many women will love this. I on the other hand am not interested in gowns, hats, corsets and teenage angst.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • All Our Yesterdays

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 25 mins)
    • By Cristin Terrill
    • Narrated By Meredith Mitchell
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (473)
    Performance
    (424)
    Story
    (427)

    "You have to kill him." Imprisoned in the heart of a secret military base, Em has nothing except the voice of the boy in the cell next door and the list of instructions she finds taped inside the drain. Only Em can complete the final instruction. She's tried everything to prevent the creation of a time machine that will tear the world apart. She holds the proof: a list she has never seen before, written in her own hand. Each failed attempt in the past has led her to the same terrible present - imprisoned and tortured by a sadistic man called "the doctor" while war rages outside.

    Tango says: "Should be classified as Sci-Fi"
    "ADOLESCENCE HUBRIS"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Here are some phrases directly from the story: OH GOD-OH-GOD-OH GOD!! TOTALLY! I LIKE. OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BREATHE. I FORGOT TO BREATHE. YOU GET TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER HOTNESS. SHE RUINED HER FAVORITE TIGHTS. Are you getting the picture? This is total teen chick lit. Have you ever noticed that in chick lit, girls forget to breathe around hot boys?

    With the exception of the bravado shown to torture, I have nothing against this book, as long as you know what you are getting into. I think young woman will love this book and it may introduce them to science fiction. All others need not apply. Audio has pushed this book hard, putting it in all their sales. How this got under Mystery/Thrillers/Suspense is mind boggling. It was a little confusing at times, to know when we were in the past and when we were remembering the past. The story construct was actually very good, but three and a half hours in, Jim The Impatient, was out, TOTALLY.

    I do have a problem with teen books not showing torture for what it is. I do not think this is a subject to be trivialized.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • The Drop

    • UNABRIDGED (5 hrs and 26 mins)
    • By Dennis Lehane
    • Narrated By Jim Frangione
    Overall
    (53)
    Performance
    (52)
    Story
    (50)

    Three days after Christmas, a lonely bartender looking for a reason to live rescues an abused puppy from a trash can and meets a damaged woman looking for something to believe in. As their relationship grows, they cross paths with the Chechen mafia; a man grown dangerous with age and thwarted hopes; two hapless stick-up artists; a very curious cop; and the original owner of the puppy, who wants his dog bac.k…

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "THAT IS LIFE,"
    "THAT IS LIFE,"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    SOMEBODY COMES ALONG WHEN YOUR NOT LOOKING, NOR EXPECTING
    This is a middle of the road listen. It is not awful and it is not great. This is more about the characters then the story. I am a dog lover and the puppy is what kept me listening, even thought the dog is a very minor part of the listen. The characters are a little gritty and offbeat. There are some Chechin bad guys, but nobody is really a good guy, as in most Lehane books. Also like most Lehane books, it is pure Boston (underbelly).

    I AM NOT THE ONE WHO WASTED MY WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR IT TO START.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Red

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 2 mins)
    • By Jack Ketchum
    • Narrated By Gary Kohler
    Overall
    (21)
    Performance
    (18)
    Story
    (18)

    The old man hears them before he sees them, the three boys coming over the hill, disturbing the peace by the river where he's fishing. He smells the gun oil too, too much oil on a brand-new shotgun. These aren't hunters, they're rich kids who don't care about the river and the fish and the old man. Or his dog. Red is the name of the old man's dog, his best friend in the world. And when the boys shoot the dog—for nothing, for simple spite—he sees red, like a mist before his eyes. And before the whole thing is done there'll be more red.

    Dan says: "two adequate short stories"
    "GUNS DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I enjoyed the story Red. It is a character driven story, starring an older man for once. Some kid shoots his old dog's head off and the old man wants an apology. The story starts with a bang and builds from there. The old man is dogged in getting his apology which leads to more trouble then one would suspect. He is also worried about everybody's weight. As a dog lover, I was for the old man all the way.

    The second story Passenger, is not as good, but it is different. I liked it, but not as much as Red. The plot was pretty thin. It has an interesting look at the difference between the popular girl at school and the biggest slut at school.

    The narrator is excellent and makes the whole experience better. He does have a voice that sounds like it is made for westerns and neither story here is a western.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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