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Jim "The Impatient"

I will listen to NO boring book. Old Fav's,Card, King , Hobb. New Fav's, Hill, Scalzi, Sawyer, Interested in Lansdale, Crouch, Konrath

Springfield, MO, United States | Member Since 2010

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  • 514 reviews
  • 540 ratings
  • 0 titles in library
  • 123 purchased in 2014
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  • George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'

    • ORIGINAL (7 hrs and 5 mins)
    • By George Carlin
    • Narrated By George Carlin
    Overall
    (1016)
    Performance
    (918)
    Story
    (911)

    If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.

    Rick says: "Like a Cast of Thousands"
    "Tiger Woods is not Black"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    According to George Carlin, Tiger Woods is not black, skin color has nothing to do with it. I believe Carlin thought he was black. Pipe smokers should just suck d#@k, People who walk around listening to walkmans are arrogant pricks. As I was walking my dog listening to Carlin on my headphones, thinking about smoking my pipe when I got home, I found this a strange way to start out a book. Oh just before that he talked how other comedians where idiots who had hope and always offered advice to fix things and how they are political and he is not. I then listened to seven hours of how he could make the world better and his views on politics. He starts out by pretty much bashing everybody. He thinks people in the midwest are soft and boring, the people in the South are all bigots, etc. The only ones worth a sh@t are the New Yorkers, cause they live everyday knowing they can get mugged.

    Ignoring the constant put downs, negativity, and trying to make himself seem different by just saying off the wall things he thinks might piss someone off, I find him to be very, very funny and smart. (Although anybody can bitch, that does not take smarts.) I love almost all his routines on the English language and how Americans use them. Like the routine about getting on an Airplane. He is getting in, not on and all the terms used in flying, like the Terminal, etc. I love how he describes baseball, how he feels about those who want to save the planet, his comments on dogs, prostitution, time, germs, what true sports are, cats, etc.

    He puts down yuppies (he who wore a pony tail for how long?), businessmen, people with money, (he was probably a millionaire), whites (he who was lily white), anyone who lives anyplace other then New York ( he moved to California). He calls several people arrogant, yet to be a comedian or a writer don't you have to believe you are so important other people will pay to hear you or buy your books or buy the audible versions of your books that you read. When your busy being arrogant and putting everyone else down it is hard to see your own faults.

    I gave this four stars, cause he is entertaining and gives you plenty to think about. You just need to be prepared to have your self put down in some way, it will happen, brush it off and listen to what he really has to say.

    31 of 37 people found this review helpful
  • Wool: Silo, #1; Wool, #1-5

    • UNABRIDGED (17 hrs and 43 mins)
    • By Hugh Howey
    • Narrated By Amanda Sayle
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1575)
    Performance
    (1450)
    Story
    (1465)

    In a ruined and toxic landscape, a community exists in a giant silo underground, hundreds of stories deep. There, men and women live in a society full of regulations they believe are meant to protect them. Sheriff Holston, who has unwaveringly upheld the silo’s rules for years, unexpectedly breaks the greatest taboo of all: He asks to go outside.

    Michael G. Kurilla says: "Post-apocalyptic life in a silo"
    "I NEED A SHADOW"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    I CAN'T READ THAT FOR 12 HOURS
    I like the whole concept of this story and I like what happens in the story. I do wish this had been 12 hours instead of 17+, for it really dragged the last five hours. The whole thing was written in a slow, taking for ever manner. It was not overly descriptive, nor was there flowery language, I think we just spent too much time in the minds of the characters, contemplating simple things. Though I am impatient, I was okay (not thrilled) with this, but toward the end it started to ware on me. I am a sucker for books about populations stuck in enclosed environments, generations ships, islands, or even Room by Donoghue.

    LATERAL DIGS ARE FORBIDDEN
    The whole book is a mystery and the mystery is compelling enough, that you want to listen. I am even going to break a long habit of mine of not continuing a series I can't give five stars too. The next series tells how the silos came about and then there is a third book in the series. A lot in the book is predictable but some things are not and the main mystery keeps you listening.

    NOTHINGS PERMANENT
    The narrator is not great, nor is she terrible. When she does voices, they do sound cartoonish or like anime. I have notice this same book is out with a different narrator, you may want check out the reviews on her. I also notice that book two is a different narrator then either of the two versions of one. Her male voices sound like a little girl trying to sound grown up. It was not enough to detract from the story for me and she did not read it slow, it was slow written.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Second Ship: The Rho Agenda, Book 1

    • UNABRIDGED (11 hrs and 39 mins)
    • By Richard Phillips
    • Narrated By MacLeod Andrews
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1273)
    Performance
    (1157)
    Story
    (1170)

    In 1948, an alien starship crash-landed in the New Mexico desert and brought with it the key to mankind’s future. Code-named the Rho Project, the landing was shrouded in secrecy, and only the highest-ranking US government and military personnel knew it existed. Until now....

    Mike From Mesa says: "Terrific story"
    "Don't Mess with the Johnsons"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    HIS STOMACH LOOKED LIKE IT BELONGED TO A COMIC BOOK SUPER HERO.
    I did listened to all of this, but I almost gave up several times. This is another book that suffers from Trilogyitists. It also suffers from not knowing what it wants to be. The author writes mostly a YA book and then throws in gory fight scenes. In one scene a guy is strangled with his own intestines. There are also some sexual innuendo's, but not much. All the gory scenes put together could probably fit on two pages, but they are there. The plot is so convoluted that it almost gets silly. Do we need another teenage super hero book? If I heard, I FORGOT TO BREATHE, once I heard it ten times. How original is it to have the cheerleaders and football players be mean and evil? The theme of the book has been done so many times it worn out. The book is not terrible, it is just very common and over done.

    The narrator is so bad at voices, that at times I not only could not tell which character was speaking, but I could not tell what gender they were.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • All the Lives He Led: A Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (13 hrs and 17 mins)
    • By Frederik Pohl
    • Narrated By Oliver Wyman
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (13)
    Performance
    (7)
    Story
    (9)

    When Mount Vesuvius erupted in A.D. 79, it gave so little warning that Pompeiians were caught unawares, and many bodies were preserved in volcanic ash. Two thousand years later, in 2079, Pompeii is a popular theme park eagerly anticipating Il Giubeleo, the Jubilee celebration of the great anniversary. But Vesuvius is still capable of erupting, and even more threatening are terrorists who want to use the occasion to draw attention to their cause by creating a huge disaster.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "ANYWAY"
    "ANYWAY"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Pohl has written some great stuff: Space Merchants, The Tunnel Under The World, Alternation Currents, Man Plus, Gateway, Starburst, The Merchants War, The Coming of the Quantum Cats, and The Voice of Heaven, but this is not one of them, not even close. I already know at least seven people will disagree, as witness by the other reviewer. I Jim the Impatient have spent my money, so you don't have to and don't even download this for free.

    This is about some future loser and reads like a travel guide, of some place you don't want to go to. Pohl has plenty of good writings, just pick from the list above.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • The Tommyknockers

    • UNABRIDGED (27 hrs and 46 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Edward Hermann
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (948)
    Performance
    (639)
    Story
    (646)

    Bobbi Anderson and the other good folks of Haven, Maine, have sold their souls to reap the rewards of the most deadly evil this side of Hell.

    Grant S. Burroughs says: "The old Stephen King"
    "SHOOT A PICKLE"
    Overall
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    ALL THE GI JOE'S
    As with most King books you get a good flavor of the time it was written. This was written in 1987. Do you remember Art Linkletter, Dr. Hook, Pat Summeral, Allen Ludden (hint: Password), Gary Gilmore or Hill Street Blues? The cars of the time, such as a Valiant are mentioned. The story concept will appeal to Sci-Fi fans, Horror fans and Fantasy Fans. I am not giving away anything by telling you it involves a space ship buried near a small town in New England. You learn that pretty early. Towards the end it gets a lot more complicated then that and sort of has a paranormal aspect to it. It also has the flavor of Dome. A character even mentions at one time that there seems to be a bowl over the city. I also believe that King mentioned he had been working on the idea for Dome for over 20 years.

    ALL THIS SH## HAS BECOME ONE BIG DULL BORE
    I could not give this five stars, as I have with many King books. I usually like King's long books with character development and little horror thrown in. This one seemed more like a bunch of short stories that were connected. Some stories were real good and some not so good. In part one there is very little scary and we have the development of a character who is an alcoholic. This guy is okay, a little pathetic, but not really someone I grew to care for. I know it is a sickness and I should care, but I have never had much sympathy for alcoholics.

    TOMMYKNOCKERS WEREN'T MUCH INTO METAPHORS
    In Part 2, we totally forget about the two characters in part one. Each chapter is usually about one person. We get their entire history (rather you want it or not) and usually by the end of the chapter they are done away with and never appear again. We also start getting a ton of metaphors, more then any other book King has written. I often think that over use of metaphors is a writers way of covering up the lack of a plot. King also seems to be preoccupied with semen. MAYONAISE THE COLOR OF BULL SEMEN and WIZARD OF OZ SEMEN.

    HER BRAIN HIT THE CURRY AND IVES WALL CALENDAR WITH A SPLAT
    Part three is the action packed grand finale. I like the concept that Aliens would not be friendly. In the 80's Carl Sagan and several scientist tried to convince us that any civilization who had conquered space travel will have had to learn to cooperate and get along with each other. A view that still persists today. Yet the only reason we went to the moon, was to show the Russians how much fire power we had. Since the end of the Cold War, we and no nation have done much in the way of space travel. Stephen Hawking has put out the warning that announcing our presence to the Universe, might not be the smartest thing. Competition is what motivates and often that is military.

    CHERNOBYL
    King uses this book to preach against nuclear reactors, giving some very alarming stats and paints some fairly gross results of nuclear accidents. I agreed with a lot of what he says, but one must be careful, a writer who manipulates both sides of a debate in a book to get the results he wants is not much different then Rush Limbaugh preaching on the radio with no one to keep him accountable.

    EDWARD HERRMANN
    The narrator has an excellent voice. He is also a fairly accomplished actor. Look him up on the web, you will recognize him. I am not sure, but I believe he was one of the early readers for books on tape. His voice took me back to my beginning days when I first experience listening to books through my car radio. His voice is a treat in it's self and when he reads, ALL THE GI JOE'S, if you don't tear up, you are a robot. I am about to tear up just thinking about it.

    King fans will enjoy this book, but it does move pretty slow at times and it is not as good as most of his books. The Shinning, Cujo, Misery, Different Seasons, It, Gerald's Game, Rose Madder, Desperation, The Green Mile, Everything Eventual, Thinner, The Running Man and Cell are all much better books.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Assignment in Eternity

    • UNABRIDGED (8 hrs and 40 mins)
    • By Robert A. Heinlein
    • Narrated By Bronson Pinchot
    Overall
    (152)
    Performance
    (140)
    Story
    (140)

    Robert A. Heinlein is widely and justly regarded as the greatest practitioner of the art of science fiction who has ever lived. Here are two of his greatest short novels: Gulf, in which the greatest super-spy of them all is revealed as the leader of a league of supermen and women who can’t quite decide what to do with the rest of us. And Lost Legacy, in which it is proved that we are all members of that league - or would be, if we but had eyes to see.

    Trip Williams says: "You'll like it because you can think..."
    "USING LANGUAGE UNUSUAL TO HER AGE AND SEX"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    WHATS XXXXX XYOUR GAMEX XXXXX
    The first time I tried listening to this I did not realize it was four short stories. The first story Gulf, is pretty long and pretty silly. I listened for two hours and deleted it from my player. Later, I found out it was four stories, so I started over. I tried again for over two hours on the first story and ended up skipping to the next story.

    ELSEWHEN
    This story is better, but not by much. This involves time travel to alternate earths and the different concepts on different societies is interesting. The moral of the story seems to be that you have to believe.

    LOST LEGACY
    I liked this story, and it seemed to be quite deep. It also seemed a bit liberal for Heinlein, a lot different from the man who wrote Starship Troopers. This group of people try to change the world to make it more peaceful. They use telepathy, immortal god like people and the Boys Scouts. I thought it would make a great comic book.

    Jerry Was A Man
    This story was excellent. It was a sort of satire on Intelligence, slavery and what it means to be human. It may have been one of the best things I have ever read from RAH.

    I am not crazy about the narrator, nothing I can but my finger on, and not bad enough to keep me from enjoying the book, he just ain't my favorite.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • The First: A Prequel to 'The Returned'

    • UNABRIDGED (33 mins)
    • By Jason Mott
    • Narrated By Victor Bevine
    Overall
    (441)
    Performance
    (376)
    Story
    (379)

    It's been just over a year since Edmund Blithe died, and just over a month since his fiancee, Emily, stopped wearing her engagement ring. Emily has finally begun to move on - until Edmund mysteriously and inexplicably returns. Edmund is only just the beginning. Around the world, people's loved ones are returning from beyond, seeking only to reenter the lives they left behind.

    Maddy says: "Under the Spell"
    "Melodramtic"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Melodramatic, swarmy, silly, not well written. Half way decent concept, just needs a good writer to do justice to it.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Joyland

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 33 mins)
    • By Stephen King
    • Narrated By Michael Kelly
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (3080)
    Performance
    (2850)
    Story
    (2852)

    Set in a small-town North Carolina amusement park in 1973, Joyland tells the story of the summer in which college student Devin Jones comes to work as a carny and confronts the legacy of a vicious murder, the fate of a dying child, and the ways both will change his life forever. Joyland is a brand-new novel and has never previously been published.

    Cozy Reader says: "The sweest and creepiest coming of age story!"
    "THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR BOREDOM"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    NEVER KID A KIDDER, KIDO
    I love Stephen King and most of his books, and Jim the Impatient, listened to this whole thing, so it is not boring. It is not horror, it's kind of a cheap imitation of Water For Elephants. As much as I love King, I will advise you to read Water for Elephants instead. It is better written, more involved, scarier, and a better look at circus life then this is a look at Carney life.

    WHEN IT COMES TO THE PAST, EVERYONE WRITES FICTION.
    If this had been a true story, it might have been a tear jerker, if we had been more invested in the characters, it would have been less cheesy. Like Howard Stern says on America's Got Talent," Mr. King, I believe you fell a little flat tonight, I loved what you did in previous nights, but tonight something was missing." Bachman's version of this story would be more to my taste.

    MAKE IT JOB ONE
    I also wonder if the mother had not been drop dead gorgeous if our hero would have befriended the cripple. Sorry kid, your mother's too plain looking.

    I'M AS DRY AS TEN YEAR DOG SH@@

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Rendezvous with Rama

    • UNABRIDGED (9 hrs and 4 mins)
    • By Arthur C. Clarke
    • Narrated By Peter Ganim, Robert J. Sawyer
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1799)
    Performance
    (1063)
    Story
    (1085)

    At first, only a few things are known about the celestial object that astronomers dub Rama. It is huge, weighing more than ten trillion tons. And it is hurtling through the solar system at inconceivable speed. Then a space probe confirms the unthinkable: Rama is no natural object. It is, incredibly, an interstellar spacecraft. Space explorers and planet-bound scientists alike prepare for mankind's first encounter with alien intelligence.

    Peter Tersteeg says: "Excellent story, terrible naration"
    "TO SAIL THE CYLINDRICAL SEA"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    Simps, Biots,holograms, spaceguard,aerobatic flyer,a tenth planet, women in space, marriage contracts, a man with a wife on two different planets, a woman with two husbands, generation ships, etc... You may say you have heard it all before, but with the exception of marriage contracts (Robert Heinlein) you heard it here first. Clarke writes in a conservative matter, but he has sees the future better then anyone. I've mentioned it before, but when Clarke writes, it is like you are there or your watching it on the news. His writing is not as sensational as some of today's writing, but his writing is more realistic. The whole idea of a spaceship like this was amazing to begin with, but if it was to happen, my money is Clarke will have pictured it more accurately then anybody else. You can not consider yourself knowledgeable in Science fiction literature if you have not read this book. This is my third time to read or listen to it. Maybe I am a Raman, they do everything in three's.

    The narrator does suck, but the story still comes through, due to strong writing. I suggest you read the book and listen to the book and then do one of them once more, be a Raman.

    WHEN IN DOUBT, SAY NOTHING AND MOVE ON.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • The Late Shift: Fangoria's 'Dreadtime Stories' Series

    • ORIGINAL (39 mins)
    • By Dennis Etchison
    • Narrated By Malcolm McDowell
    Overall
    (5)
    Performance
    (4)
    Story
    (5)

    Ever wonder what the dead might have to say when they are alone with one another? It turns out that the dead are neither comical nor menacing. They are just tired and lost and in search of peace. They are people like you and me who want to rest now that their work is done. The problem is, the system wants to continue to exploit them even beyond death. It’s a grim proposition but the logical extension of our society when a sinister company reanimates corpses in order to provide free labor for the late night shifts in stores and garages.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "The Summary is a Spoiler"
    "The Summary is a Spoiler"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    No surprises in the plot, as the summary tells the whole story. The production is top notch and I liked the story and I will be getting more of these. I also thought it was an interesting concept. Next time your in a late night rip and run, take notice of the cashier, he might not be all there.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • The Weird Ones

    • UNABRIDGED (4 hrs and 26 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Daniel Dorse
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (1)
    Performance
    (1)
    Story
    (1)

    Some stories tiptoe up and whisper in your ear - all sweetness and gumdrops and happy-ever-after-after-there-you-go. Then, there are the weird ones. We're talking talking-chickens, blue plague spam monkeys, tug boats of unbridled and fetid fecundity, tulwar-swinging cab drivers, malls that maul you, gnawing on screwdrivers and jig-lining elder gods coming at you faster than a ride-on mow-down massacre mower shopping cart caravan. This is a collection for the seriously messed up minds of all you listeners who have grown tired of the trite detritus of day-to-day storytelling.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "NOVA SCOTIA SHITHOUSE LUCK"
    "NOVA SCOTIA SHITHOUSE LUCK"
    Overall
    Performance
    Story

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE, WHITE MAN.
    The first story is a novella and is called Plague Monkey Spam. If it had been a lot shorter and a short story, it could easily have been a 5 star story, but the story just went on and on. It ended up sounding like a bad trip on drugs. The narrator has a creepy Garrison Kelior type of voice. At times it was cool and then after a while it became grating on the nerves. What I thought was going to be a five star story ended up just a 3 star.

    Gnarly Ho-tep Hoedown two-step was very inventive and funny.

    Hunger Time At the Midnite Mall was my favorite and was creepy

    The Last Curl of Gut Rope was okay.

    This book is not for everyone. It is interesting that it is titled the Weird Ones, as everything Vernon writes is weird.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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