The other reviews should have clued you in already: This book is trash. As in, I'm-out-camping-and-I-have-no-toilet-paper trash. I won't reiterate the many, many problems, but I will let you know how I managed to enjoy it. Even enjoy it enough to not regret the time or credit, if you can believe that.
Me and my friends were on a road trip, and we wanted to listen to an audiobook. Trying to find one that appealed to everybody was an impossible task, so instead, I went with this book, hoping that it could provide laughs that everyone could appreciate. And provide it did! It ended up being vaguely reminiscent of MST3K, with us riffing off and tearing apart this book. We laughed (at the prose) together, we cried (at the prose, again) together, we moaned together. It ended up being a really great experience, and HOLY MOSES is it a joy to quote to each other. There are so many horrific lines in this book (most of them repeated at least 10 or more times, because why write 500 pages when you can write 50 and copy-paste?), that we didn't stop quoting it the entire vacation.
In the end, I can't imagine someone suffering through this dreck alone. I feel so much pain for you, you being unable to share your misery. But if you're looking for a fun group read, look no further!
I have no idea how anyone can enjoy this book.
This book was so hyped, I thought it had to have some redeeming value. It is poorly written and the characters are annoying. It was the opposite of erotic. I am pretty sure a group of high school girls wrote it as a joke.
I would shy away from readin EL James again. It seems to me that she is a new writer who hasn't quite developed a good foundation of creative and unique words. I was frustrated hearing the same expressions and cliche descriptions over and over. I can handle a writer of average talent. And I have never labelled an author as subpar. however, James is deserving of that review.
No, for reasons mentioned above.
She had a nice voice but you can't sugar coat crap. She was reading a poorly written novel. I wouldn't hesitate to listen to another novel read by Becca. There were sometimes when I felt more emotion could have been injected into certain parts of the book. But she did a good job considering the recording was done last minute due to poor choice of the first narrator.
All I can say is nice try, but I am not even sure why this book was published.
Save your money. I'm sure there will be a movie...
An author who knows their limits. Kinky is good, poor narrative, cliche, and unorigional charictor types are not good. There were so many repeated poor visuals such as "looking up through my eye lashes." Nor does the author seem to understand that if your "subconscious" is having a conversation with you, it is by that virtue we define it as our conscience with which we are conversing...in effect, she is talking to herself, not her subconcious nor her "Medulla Oblongata."
Yes. The voices did come off very shallow and cliche but I don't discredit the narrator, that's how they were written.
Grey. Why does he have to be so lame to be kinky?
If you really need sexy...go on a date and write your own kinky story.
Exceptionally undiscerning romance novel fans. Apparently, fans of the much better, though still awful, Twilight books, and their evil fanfic spawn.
No. Once was quite enough, thank you.
Yes. As I said in the title of this review, I don't think any narrator could have saved this awful book. The writing was terrible. The dialogue was insipid and extremely unrealistic. By halfway through the book, I wanted to kill the protagonist's "inner goddess," but that isn't the narrator's fault.
I suppose it would be cheating to say "all of them," but there were no major characters I didn't find unrealistic and annoying. Anastasia is remarkably naive, but suddenly knows words she shouldn't know, and understands concepts that should be well beyond her junior high level understanding of the world. She often tells us about her high GPA, but is actually amazingly stupid. Of course, no review can leave out Christian Grey, the 29 year old billionaire, who is gorgeous (Ana tells us this on almost every page), a sexual dynamo, flies his own helicopter, altruistically feeds the poor ... it goes on and on. I had no problem with the dungeon in his apartment; that was the most realistic part of his character! I did wonder who cleaned that room, since the housekeeper didn't seem to know about it. And then there's Ana's filthy rich roommate, who was Valedictorian of her college class, editor of the student newspaper (and apparently still running said publication post-graduation). The closest thing to a realistic character was Grey's driver, who had only a minor role.
This is a truly awful book. I have to assume it was put on the bestseller list by people who don't typically read books, but are more likely consumers of movies and reality TV. Unfortunately, people like me who ignored the reviews to "see what all the hype is about" contributed to these numbers, thereby feeding the problem of semi-literate people writing and publishing books. Next time, I'll listen to my "inner god," and not waste my money.
What a great disapointment.....after all the hype I was so excited to get going on this book but what a complete waste of my time. The narrator sounded like a breathy schoolgirl trying to immitate a mature sexy woman...not so. And the writing is maybe high school level but maybe not even graduation level? Won't bother with the other 2 books thank you very much.
Only gave it 1star rating as I couldn't go 0
Before I purchased this, I saw the overwhelming low rating on performance. I thought I could tolerate bad performance if the story line was interesting enough, and in my experience, I get used to irritating voice or bad performance fairly quickly and could ignore them well.
But in this book, I don't know if it's the bad writing, bad performance, or bad story line, although I'm pretty sure it's all of the above, I simply cannot stand it. It was fairly interesting in the beginning, but after 1/3 in the two antagonists just sound and act like they're both intellectually challenged. I can accept Anastasia being stupid, but how do you justify a self starter multi billionaire being a complete moron?
Anastasia says "HOLY COW" "HOLY CRAP" "HOLY F*" every few minutes throughout the book. Maybe if I read the written copy, it'd be more tolerable. But when listening to the audible version, there's no escaping from her (and the author's) stupidity.
And the majority of the conversation between Mr. Grey and Anastasia Steel is, "Did you just do that, Mr. Grey?" or "Did you just do that, Miss Steel?" YES! They just did that. Stop asking! They say that in every single conversation to each other, and I'm not exaggerating a bit! Oh my god. This book is beyond stupid and I don't understand how the story line got such a high rating.
I thought the Twilight trilogy was poorly written and stupid. But compared with this, Twilight can be a English classics.
If you are still curious about the book, do yourself a favor and get the written version. At least you can skip through the moronic parts and all of the HOLY ____ and "did you just do that?"
To give the narrator some credit, I think she did a stellar job given the poorly written material.
Terrible writing, cringe inspiring dialogue, boring characters, Christian Grey is annoying, Ana has no brain cells.
Doesn't matter who reads it, the book is cheesy as heck.
all the sex scenes, Christian needs to STFU during sex, all the dialogue, every "OH MY" and "HOLY CRAP" phrase, every mention of Ana's Inner Goddess, and Subconscious.
I didn't know it was fan fiction, it is written by a total amateur. I want my credit back.
I wanted to like this book, because of all the hype, but I just couldn't. It is such a stupid, poorly written story, that I find it disturbing that so many women have embraced it. Has the dumbing down of America reached this low of a level? Evidently. I think this book appeals to people because it's provocative, but that doesn't take away the fact that it makes no sense and is, sex aside, incredibly boring. I enjoy a good sex scene, but all the crap I have to read before I get to it, is ridiculous. Anna talks about her inner goddess to the point where I want to puke, and her favorite phrase is "holy cow". Women, wake up, you're smarter than this. Spend your time reading something with at least a little literary value. I agree with fellow reviewers, that you can get equally turned on by a good Anne Rice novel, that is at least well written.
All of those boring emails.
I would only recommend this book to a friend I didn't care for. Seriously. I don't understand all the hoo-hah about this book (seriously). Is it supposed to be some 'deep thinkers' novel and I totally missed it, like the story itself has some undercurrent of meaning that has just escaped my notice? It sounded just like a regular old Harlequin Romance novel to me (though more LORNO (light porno) than the ones I remember reading as a teenager) -really not something I'd (ever) listen to again, in fact I couldn't even finish it. It sounds like something from the writers at Hustler Magazine, almost like a man writing about a fantasy (but not very well). I was disappointed, to say the least, hate paying for something I'll never listen to again (what a waste) and can't even think about lending it to anyone, I'd be too embarrased to have anyone think I was recommending it. Yuck. Only bought it because "everyone" was getting it, talking about it, etc. (and yes I get the irony, and no I wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone was jumping off a bridge).....my mom always said that to me and I guess I never learn) The author and/or the publicist did a SPECTACULAR job of getting the book mentioned on t.v. and in magazines (heard about it 2-3 times on t.v. and read about it several times in different magazines) and good job tricking us into wasting our money. Darn. Hated it (and I love to read and can ready anything, seriously-this really blew). Boo.
Don't think so.
Reader was okay just hated the book itself. It was porn advertised as....I don't even know what -the "best new novel in forever", somehow (again: great publicist) making me feel I HAD to have it. I totally feel like I was intentionally tricked (for lack of a better word) into buying it.
Yuck. And first (and last) time I jump on the "everybody's doing it" book band.