Every individual thing here is perfect, from the story to the expletives to Samuel L. Jackson's spot on narrating; all combined together, there really are no words to describe it.
Every parent to ever set foot on a creaky board, slip on a loose carpet or rug, have a creaky joint which pops like a balloon, or makes a noise (imagined or real) which has awakened a light-sleeping child has had this brazen title flitter through our thoughts. How many times have I imagined turning slowly toward my crying daughter's bed, with a full days work a mere few hours (and draining through the hourglass just like Dorothy and the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz) away, and loudly protesting my side of the argument with something sounding just like the title? This is every parents bedtime story, for it's much too nasty for children. This is the language that gave us our "Buster, that's gonna cost you to eat soap" faces or "Awww... I'm telling mom on you" races wherein both parties are usually arriving at the same time, both yelling 100 words a minute only to get strapped/switched/belted/walloped for our troubles. One for telling, the other for saying it.
With that said, listen to the book for what it is- an adult bedtime story which plucks a string of familiarity in our medley of parenthood. Someday I'm going to write a book entitled "I'm gonna put my foot in your ass" or "You deserve an ass-whoopin" or maybe the unwritten Great American Novel my dad could have written over and over again which goes by the title: "You keep it up and I'm going to take my belt off and wear your asses out." I just don't have the guts to actually go back to that dark, lonely door in my memory and stand there with the handle in my hand. I know what's on the other side of the door and his name is Mr. Pain.
Enjoy the book- Samuel L. Jackson makes it that much better- but I cannot for the life of me get my vision of him reading this as he and Travolta are holding mammoth handguns and at anytime will blurt out: "What does Marcellus look like..." or "Say what again MotherF'er..." or his classic biblical quote before shoving a bullet up someone's much-needed bodypart. Enjoy~
I do not have children, but I know the struggles of putting a child to sleep every night. That is usually the point where I give the child back to his mother. lol The read by Samuel Jackson is perfect!
Fantastic book for anyone who has children or has read a bed time story! SLJ is THE choice for reader; no one else could do it justice. Perfect pairing!
too freaking funny! i can really relate with adam! lets just pray that parents font let their kids get a hold of this! hahahahaha!
absolutely hilarious! i can't think of a better pick for narrator than mr. jackson for this spot on characterization of parents everywhere. i laughed until i cried!!