Levine and Heller apply attachment theory and the related research appearing over the past decade to romantic relationships. They provide instruments to help individuals determine their attachment styles, relate the characteristics of those styles, outline how persons with different styles relate to their relationships, and make suggestions for how we might better communicate our needs in each situation. Many illustrations are provided that are helpful. The book is well narrated by Walter Dixon.
Hey Hey Hey
There was some really great information in here, hence the four stars. It was eye opening and the research on adult attachment is definitely worth investigating. I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a greater elaboration on the "rarist" of us, those like me who are a combination of the two most screwed up emotional wrecks. There was a generic "sorry, you're in bad shape...try to apply everything we say about the two types." Not great. Sure, it may be just a 5% (maybe it was slightly lower, but I don't recall) but 5% or even 1% of the population is a LOT of us. And those of us who are craziest are most likely to be seeking out books like this to read! So, I would suggest that the rare combination of the two are WAY over-represented in the readership. Just sayin...
This book was a good intro to the subject. But at some point, I began to feel like I was being talked down to like a child. Repetitive info. This is a great book if you dropped out of community college about halfway through your degree in automotive repair, and never took any psychology courses. However, if you have any exposure to psychology at all, the first half of this book is great but then move on to something more insightful.
I am giving it 4 because I am trying to be positive. It probably gets slightly over a 3 to me, but I chose to round up.
Loved this book. It takes the blame or shame away from needing a certain type of love or attachment. And it helps identify how people need and react to attachment.
Yes and I will revisit it again.
What a brilliant analysis on romatic relationships. This can save you hundreds in 'relationship' counselling fees. I fully recommend it.
A very interesting approach to relationships. This has added another interesting tool to both my own relationships tool belt and to the way I look at Relationships in my coaching practice. I've also been able to view my own shift to a secure attachment style, and see what communication elements are at work. I also gained an understanding of our attachment system which is another useful thing to understand. It has particularly helped with those relationships where the one is always fretting and the other distancing, and to understand what attracts them. Needed to get a hard copy as the audiobook gets tough when trying to describe a chart you'll be filling out.
Yes, this book presents an accurate explanation of the three main attachment styles and how they operate in intimate relationships. The information is not dumbed-down pop psychology. While presented in an accessible manner, this book is a true scientific look at human behavior.
The book is non-fiction, so there aren't really "scenes," however, I found the information about the avoidant/anxious attachment relationship to be very powerful and meaningful.
This book caused me to take an honest look at myself and my relationships. While difficult to do, it was also empowering. I now feel as though I have the tools to communicate better and establish healthier relationships.
I recommend this book to anyone seeking to improve their relationships. While geared specifically to intimate relationships, the information is applicable to familial relationships, friendships, working relationships, etc.
I have listened to this book way more than once. It is a great layman's book about how we do relationships as adults.
It is in understandable language. It also does not only point out the issue but then gives us tools to use.
Attached gave great examples of how we can unconsciously react in relationships relative to the relationship style we adopted in childhood.
I have purchased maybe 15 or more of this book. I give it to my clients. They have all reported back that it has been a "Relationship Rosetta Stone" of sorts.
I tought the book was pretty good. However, I could see this book causing many people to believe they have irreconsilable differences and should divorce their spouse. There are tips for getting over some of the bad attachment matches, but it seems really focused on avoiding those match ups.
He also really favors the insecure attachment style. IE - if your spouse is insecure - it is up to you to make them secure. This is oversimplified thinking and puts a ton of pressure on the other person.
I am so mad at this writer for not writing this book along time ago. My life would have turned out alot different had I had this simple practicle advice. The concepts are so simple an easy to apply to your life that you will be amazed. Also, listening to the stories were like you were describing my relationship to a tee. I thought my situation with my partner was unique, yet I discovered that his ways of dealing in a relationship is as common as a snowy day in Minnesota. If you haven't guessed my ex is an Avoidant attachment style and I am anxious. I have been on a rollercoaster ride with him for 5 years. Now, I finally have the courage to get off. Thank you Amir Levine.
Greetings. My brother introduced me to Audible in 2011. Since, nothing but enjoyment. Hopefully my reviews are very useful to you. Enjoy!
It raises your awareness of your own weaknesses. Clearer understanding of who you are and just as important what traits the person you are dealing with has that can signal a red flag.
Clear voice nice to listen to. He's voice is charming and soothing.