I love this book because it gives so many examples. I'm always questioning myself in relationships but now I see from this wonderfully written and detailed book that I have had good reason to. I'm finding myself in the same Avoidant relationships over and over. I am an Anxious. This book and its practices will help me greatly!
if you are having problems in your relationship and you need a way to fix it, this is the book for you.
it really lays out a detail plan for you to have a great relationship and to figure who you should be with
I have suffered from anxiety since my teens and after a decade of suffering in an emotionally abusive relationship, I am trying to put back together the pieces of my life and learn how to function in a healthy relationship.
I listened to this audio book about 12 months ago as I was going through the start of my healing process.
I have now listened to this book 4 times and completed all the exercises once.
As I am embarking on a new relationship it was helpful in my assessing the new person and their compatibility with me, a secure person!
In addition as we have hit bumps in the road where my anxiety has just skyrocketed, instead of my previous reactions, I revert back to the book, take a different approach and so far I am astonished at the results.
Doing things differently has allowed me more closeness in this new relationship and whilst my anxiety is still very present and something I am working on individually, I have been able to get to know this new person without self sabotage.
The narration is easy to listen to and it's not overly long- easy to get through in 2 quiet afternoons.
I will continue to reference this book & dip into it as needed. Highly recommend for those who are single and in relationships.
In my opinion eventhough very interesting and insightful the model does not fit perfectly to real life situations. Even the situations described, which, I am sure, were carefully selected and scripted to fit the model do not do so perfectly and explanations behind the behaviours can be interpreted in a different way than the one in this book.
But it Is indeed an interesting and entertaining book and I am happy that I have listened to it.
I'm a clinician and a Ph.D. And I found this book really useful for us and for our patients. It really explains why and how things become hard and hurtful in a relationship. It gives you simple but not simplistic suggestion. It's really illuminating, especially when it explains how to communicate more efficiently in order to change the course of your relationship, for the better. Please, download this audiobook and listen to it! Congrats to the authors and thanks!!!
I have read this book several times and now have it on Audible. When I have a crush on someone I listen to this book as a reminder. There are less "secure" fish in the dating pool at my age. The "anxious" are manageable with effective communication. The "avoidants" are happier staying in the pool. You'll want to read (or listen to) the book to fully understand these generic statements. Enjoy!!
This book started to bore me at first, it couldn't keep my attention. I wanted answers about my relationship. But, once I stuck with it. This book not only helped me understand ROMANTIC relationships. But relationships IN GENERAL, and how effective communication can help clear up big misunderstandings. I may have to listen again to stay refreshed on the lessons, but now I know it's worth it. Most people really should read this book. MOST PEOPLE, not all.
The case examples made the science come alive. We listened as a couple and sparked good conversations. We recommend this book for anyone who has or will have an intimate partner!