Is it just me?
There was some really great information in here, hence the four stars. It was eye opening and the research on adult attachment is definitely worth investigating. I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a greater elaboration on the "rarist" of us, those like me who are a combination of the two most screwed up emotional wrecks. There was a generic "sorry, you're in bad shape...try to apply everything we say about the two types." Not great. Sure, it may be just a 5% (maybe it was slightly lower, but I don't recall) but 5% or even 1% of the population is a LOT of us. And those of us who are craziest are most likely to be seeking out books like this to read! So, I would suggest that the rare combination of the two are WAY over-represented in the readership. Just sayin...
This book was a good intro to the subject. But at some point, I began to feel like I was being talked down to like a child. Repetitive info. This is a great book if you dropped out of community college about halfway through your degree in automotive repair, and never took any psychology courses. However, if you have any exposure to psychology at all, the first half of this book is great but then move on to something more insightful.
I am giving it 4 because I am trying to be positive. It probably gets slightly over a 3 to me, but I chose to round up.
Book nerd for life!
A very good book about the insight of relationships. Top 10%.
I don't remember the names, but one woman left her long time boyfriend after having enough of their emotionally abusive relationship. She went on to marry someone who was secure. Her story stuck out because of how much she went through and how long she stayed, but she was still able to find true love.
I tought the book was pretty good. However, I could see this book causing many people to believe they have irreconsilable differences and should divorce their spouse. There are tips for getting over some of the bad attachment matches, but it seems really focused on avoiding those match ups.
He also really favors the insecure attachment style. IE - if your spouse is insecure - it is up to you to make them secure. This is oversimplified thinking and puts a ton of pressure on the other person.
What a brilliant analysis on romatic relationships. This can save you hundreds in 'relationship' counselling fees. I fully recommend it.
I am so mad at this writer for not writing this book along time ago. My life would have turned out alot different had I had this simple practicle advice. The concepts are so simple an easy to apply to your life that you will be amazed. Also, listening to the stories were like you were describing my relationship to a tee. I thought my situation with my partner was unique, yet I discovered that his ways of dealing in a relationship is as common as a snowy day in Minnesota. If you haven't guessed my ex is an Avoidant attachment style and I am anxious. I have been on a rollercoaster ride with him for 5 years. Now, I finally have the courage to get off. Thank you Amir Levine.
Yes, there's logic in pointing out the different styles of attachment. I'm not so sure that this isn't something that required such extensive study to define.
Additionally,, they've boiled this down to something as simple and harmless and benign as the the eye color eye person was born with. This book missed an opportunity to define normal, abnormal and compulsive attachment disorders (think Fatal Attraction). And the opportunity to discuss normal and fixable attachment styles, vs. dysfunctional ones and attachment styles steeped in borderline personality disorder, and other serious mental illnesses and personality disorders..
A very interesting approach to relationships. This has added another interesting tool to both my own relationships tool belt and to the way I look at Relationships in my coaching practice. I've also been able to view my own shift to a secure attachment style, and see what communication elements are at work. I also gained an understanding of our attachment system which is another useful thing to understand. It has particularly helped with those relationships where the one is always fretting and the other distancing, and to understand what attracts them. Needed to get a hard copy as the audiobook gets tough when trying to describe a chart you'll be filling out.
Wow, what a great book! Made me better understand myself and others, and see beyond the stories we tell ourselves and others; and communicate more effectively. Thank you!
Yes, this book presents an accurate explanation of the three main attachment styles and how they operate in intimate relationships. The information is not dumbed-down pop psychology. While presented in an accessible manner, this book is a true scientific look at human behavior.
The book is non-fiction, so there aren't really "scenes," however, I found the information about the avoidant/anxious attachment relationship to be very powerful and meaningful.
This book caused me to take an honest look at myself and my relationships. While difficult to do, it was also empowering. I now feel as though I have the tools to communicate better and establish healthier relationships.
I recommend this book to anyone seeking to improve their relationships. While geared specifically to intimate relationships, the information is applicable to familial relationships, friendships, working relationships, etc.
I was going though a hard time with a relationship and was not able to talk to someone professional about it for help. I hoped this book would give me a little insight. I honestly was not expecting much from it but it changed my life.
No but I would he was very good.
Yes. This book changed my life. It breaks down relationships to such a level that I was able to figure out what went wrong in ever past relationship. It has caused me to view relationships on a whole different level both romantically and social. This is a book that everyone should have to read.
If you are looking for a book with knowledge and something useful this is the book. I was not sure about this book at first but man did I strike gold.