An eye opening look at why divorce rates are so high due to the makeup of the human condition. A very scientific look at how the human species has evolved and how our sex lives have evolved along the way.
Love to read, and Audible has made the two-hour daily commute enjoyable!
Husband and wife research team examines sex both at the dawn of time through archeological and biological data.
The premise is if we're supposed to be monogamist, why are we so bad at it? They show that ancestorally and even recently, we are at our best in civilizations that welcome open, caring relationships. The book struck me as paradigm changing, but I questioned it. I'm not versed enough to tell the legitimacy of their attack of various archeologist and scientists, but it seemed a little too over the top. Also I thought the use of pop culture in music, movies, literature maybe made it approachable, but didn't work for me.
I don't know if its that the thought was so counter to me, or if it is their science that was jangling for me or both. I'm not religious - I'm not even really traditional, but I question how they got to their conclusions.
sex is important
The examination of female sexuality and the genetic roots of promiscuity. Tracing back to the primates, monogamy isn't necessarily human nature.
Whether you're married or hoping to do so, this books gives much insight into monogamy and its place in our society. If you're in a sexless marriage, it's inspirational in that it doesn't equate love for sex. There are something wonderful quotes at the beginning of each chapter. If you're looking to wed and are discouraged, it gives a realistic account of marriage, not the romanticized ideal fed to us in books and media.
A well written book is a gem.
I expected more than a rehash of the old misguided assumptions about sex. What little was new, insightful or relevant was buried under tedious retellings of the common misunderstandings on the subject. It ends up being a long walk for slight meal.
Just a goodolelady,reading and listening to books now as reading is getting harder.
the reader was very good with intonations. Made listening to the the book enjoyable.
Well, I was interested in it because I wanted to see what they had to say about early man and their group dynamics, regarding day to day life and human bonds.
A bit of enthusiasm i would not have had.
Laughs. Not sure I could film it. Monkey's and humans in time past.
No, I am not very eloquent with words. It was a worthwhile listen though.
I found this book to have been very well researched, and provides information that is very interesting and important. I knew some things, suspected some things, but mostly didn't know many things in this book. It changed my perspective on women and sexuality, and I feel it allows for more options, and less fear around alternative sexual lifestyles.There are many lies and secrets in the world. But it seems the lies and secrets surrounding women's sexuality is either the biggest, or one of the biggest.The idea that the conventional relationship/marriage package is the only thing that's right, that's normal and healthy to the exclusion of all the other types of sexual relationships that one could have, is the same thing as a Mcdonald's version of food to all the myriad of variety of cuisine possible. That its an impoverished, scarcity mentality view of sexuality. That the cookie cutter, scripted marriage is an aberration from nature, and not 'the only natural and normal lifestyle' as we're lead to believe by Religious and Mental Health experts, is a truly awakening remarkable idea. Of course not new, as our ancient ancestors lived this way. But its new for the modern person. Its very sobering from our egocentric, competitive and distorted perception of reality and awakening from the passionless distorted lull of our every day lives in the modern world.There are so many great examples in this book, of exactly how and why polygamy, polyamory, promiscuity, and however else you want to call it, are what's really 'natural.' It doesn't mean we should all run out and do it right away. Because freedom always comes at a price, and you first have to weigh things very carefully, to see if its a price you are willing to pay. However, the ideas in the book, if you really see them as true, change everything regarding, where we came from, who we are, and where we are going, what drives us and what our ultimate purpose in existence is, as human beings, and as women and men.
The reviewer who said it was good but not great got it right. I would like to add to that review. I was looking to get a history of sex and how it was treated through the history of man. The book does a decent job in the beginning of detailing how sexual relations would have played out. However in the second half it goes off the topic of sex and on to a romantic view of the noble savage. There has been much written dispelling the noble savage. This deviation from sex in human society to talk of the noble savage is a detraction for me. I am two thirds of the way through so it may get back on track but for the last two hours it's been a noble savage story.
This is probably one of the best books I've ever read in regards to human behavior and sexuality. The authors do a very good job of keeping the topic interesting (how could this not be an interesting topic?) and the flow of the book moving right along.
In the book, they answer the age-old questions about "Is Monogamy a Myth?" Why we have the thoughts we have and why we become excited and stimulated by certain characteristics in other people. The role that social conditioning has in either restricting us, or allowing us freedoms and liberties in how we feel about sex.
Some of the highlights of the book point out that up until about 10 or 20,000 years ago, humans were grouped together in nomadic tribes and all of the social interactions they shared (hunting and gathering, eating and sleeping, and yes, group sex) were all part of the social bonding that was necessary in particular for survival. With the advent of agriculture and property ownership (that included women and children) the social concept of monogamy came into play. Question remains, are humans naturally monogamous?
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld says that "men and women are like firemen and fire. Men are like firemen and can be ready for sex in two minutes. Women are like fire, whereas the conditions have to be just right for it to occur. (Smile)
This is an excellent book that I would highly recommend to everyone! Now I understand better... "Why men are the way we are and why women are the why they are." (Smile)
Books, Books, Books!
Since hearing it, I have recommended this book to several women. Enlightening, even though I don't agree with everything, I loved the way the authors tied things together.
This book gives a good look at the history sex (i.e.: sex practices among early humans and non-westernized peoples) and made a good argument against the conventional biological/evolutionary explanations of mate selection. Treatment of the implications of this on modern sexuality seemed an after thought.