It's not really a self help book, more of an analysis of how cognitive dissonance affects us on the personal, relationship, and political level. It's mildly interesting to me, the non-psychiatrist or psychologist.
"Makes sense to me"
Didn't really have a favorite character
...It'd be a documentary and probably not.
Worthy read if you want to understand why people are contradictory and how they justify themselves
Evening and Weekend Manager Lone Star College-Greenspoint Center Houston, TX 77060
Everyone who has had to fess up to something knows how hard it was to accept unmitigated responsibility for the behavior. "Mistakes were made, but not by me" is a fascinating exploration of the cognitive science behind rationalization. Seminal research in the psychology of everything from white lies to elaborate deceptions is offered up to the reader in an interesting and an understandable way. Everyone faced with prevaricators and excuse makers needs to listen to this one.
I liked this book, read it really fast. Excellent narrative, and enjoyed the real life examples that made it really easy to understand and bring the points accross.
I love to read but with my busy schedule I barely get a chance to. However, audiobooks allow me to "read" while I manage my crazy life.
This books takes us into our tendency as human beings for self-preservation when faced with the difficult challenge of admitting we were wrong. Our instinct is to deny any errors we made when confronted with the truth, followed by continuing on with the facade by insisting on the truth of our actions or words or by justifying them. The concepts and examples in this book are enlightening in showing us how blinded we are by self-righteous notions that we need to destroy relationships or risk innocent lives to perpetuate our mistakes rather than atone for them.
The only issue I had with the ideas provided is that in order for one to seek forgiveness and gain absolution, one must first be able to recognize he or she was wrong in the first place. Some instances were easier than other to decide where the fault lies, but others were more difficult. For instance, in the case of the couple in the marriage section, individually they can both be viewed as correct while collectively an observer can find flaws in both sides. This then slightly contradicts the writer in their section of memory and its fallible tendencies. Unless life is recorded 24/7 it is unlikely to be able to recall a situation with clarity and accuracy. Therefore a couple would have to rely on their semi-untrustworthy memory to recall a potential tipping-point event in their relationship. So who is right? He? She? Neither? I believe the author would argue that neither is correct and both parties need to re-evaluate their approach. I would agree to a certain extent, however, unless you truly believe you have committed a wrong-doing, your actions will eventually appear placating and inauthentic and every disagreement will feel like a struggle.
I guess the bottom line is: don't be an arrogant schmuck, but don't be a doormat either. There is a seam in between that we must navigate through, taking responsibility for all of our actions, putting our big-kid pants on and owning up to the decisions we make and the lives we affect along the way regardless of how humiliating, degrading, or painful it may be to do so because in the end our character will remain intact and our integrity untouched.
Narrator did a great job, there were a few times were her pitch pierced, but not enough to deter from the book.
Ardent Audible listener with a long commute!
This book has a very interesting premise: that most of the problems we face in life are because we do not accept responsibility for our actions. People spend a great deal of time engaged in self-justification for hurtful actions.
One of the primary examples is what happened with the pre-school sex abuse scandals in the 90's. One of the most infamous started with accusations by a woman whom, it was later discovered, was mentally ill. Other parents at the school believed her, and children recounted improbable stories of abuse at the urging and direction of therapists and law enforcement.
"Mistakes Were Made" discusses the falibility of memory, and source confusion. In the example of the children making the accusations, leading questions became facts for the children. The same type of source confusion happens to adults.
When the therapists and law enforcement investigated the alleged abuse, they failed to notice that the children's stories were improbable. The investigators self-justified their failure to correlate the facts, and so many lives were ruined.
There is an extensive discussion of cognitive disonance, which is worth an entire book on its own. False memories are sometimes created to resolve cognitive disonance.
I did question the concept of "self-justification" as it applies to organizations, such as companies and countries. The authors treated those groups as if the groups were an individual entity. I didn't see any support for the position that a group somehow develops a consciousness and works to reduce cognitive disonance.
The performance was good. It's the first Audible Book I have listened to with two narrators that worked well.
I always love the audible books
President Bush justified his Iraq war with non-sense due to his high power.
Excellent social-psychological analysis of social phenomenon.
I enjoyed the style of the writing and easy to listen voices of the narrators. Very interesting points made and see my own failures expressed through the authors pen.
Having not read the book I still would say this is better than the read. This is a very, very wordy book. Although not knowing the exact words the inflection justifies its meaning.
How unconsciously we forget about the roots of integrity and how easily our perspective can so sway or concrete one's opinion. Many people's reviews have been that this was a political book and Bush - blah, blah. In all reality it was far from the truth. Such political examples in the book are excellent and tangible examples that make understanding how dissidence works.
I did have concerns listening to the book that this was going to completely leave me hanging.. having large concerns on how to combat dissidence and not really knowing how or what to do in such a situation. I like how the book ends and how it cleared up how to not allow dissidence run one's life. I was reluctant to give this book a try because so many said it was political when in fact it wasn't. This book is definitely for the deep thinker.. This book was clearly written by psychologists. Lots of clinical and long worded sentences which at times made it hard to follow. That aside the big picture is clear and the message they are talking about is fascinating in how the human brain works - especially under pressure of one's REAL opinion.
I would highly suggest this book.. well worth the time. :)
I liked the book at lot. Very informative and interesting. Will try to find another book like this one.