The book is very well written... But the author just talks about the problem (or rather her denial of the problem). I hoped that she would reveal her growth process from being a man addicted, weight obsessed, dress up barbie to the woman she eventually becomes. That would have been a far more interesting book. How did she finally "get a clue" and begin to value herself as a person? I went through many of the same situations... I know the process I had to go through and I wish I could have shared her process as she lived her way into a solution.
Lover of ideas who feels no guilt at all about her pleasures.
I chose this book, thinking it would touch on how women of the post-feminist era have often failed to support one another and mentor our younger sisters. That would have been an interesting and useful book. Instead we have a very old story that anyone who's read Marilynn French, lived more than 2 decades, or just listened to a good friend in a bad relationship knows by heart. I was annoyed that the author used her sister's tragedy to spend hours and hours talking about herself and I was more annoyed that after all of the painstaking enumerations of her victimization by men, she comes to no insights about herself. She takes no responsability for any unpleasant aspect of her life and without that, there's nothing of value to relate.
Certainly the author suffered from imperfect parenting and poor romantic decisions but who the hell hasn't? The sadest thing about the book is how unsurprising any of it is. And it's time to stop wallowing and placing blame elsewhere. Please!
No. I was depressed the whole time I read this book. I was expecting a triumphant tale of taking down the s.o.b. that killed the author's sister but was punched repeatedly with tales of the creepy, criminal, violent, selfish, and controlling men in the author's past. I was saddened by the violence and physical abuse that she suffered. The tale of her failed/ highly dysfunctional marriage was very long and seemed a bit one sided. I hope the author finds health and healing. The story of poor Amy's death was very very sad.
Abuse and violence is always wrong and the author's resource referrals for victims of abuse are greatly appreciated.
No, but I feel that the title is misleading. This is Janine Latus' memoir punctuated by the "If I am Missing or Dead" story of losing her sister Amy.
I like the scene where Janine asks her mother for a large loan to buy a typewriter and her stepfather calls back and refuses to give her the loan. Instead, the expensive typewriter would be a gift from the two of them. Finally! a good man.
If the emphasis were on the story of Amy - I would be interested in that.
The friends encouragement to "Say goodbye" to Amy was very moving.
Proud owner of over 1500 downloaded audiobooks (fanatic?, addict? you decide :-)
I agree with the reviews that say this book does not deliver on the title. I was fascinated by all this writer has been through but kind of amazed also. I feel bad that she has had the misfortune to have intimate relationships with so many loathsome men but *spoiler alert* I can't believe she let her husband talk her into not one but TWO breast augmentation surgeries.
Shelly Frasier is one of my favorite narrators which was the main reason I downloaded this book and she gives her usual fantastic performance.
This book was frustrating and yet the story was told in such a way, I could not stop listening. It was frustrating in that I wanted to scream to the characters, "Get out of this relationship NOW!" It was also sad in that this is not fiction. On the other hand, it is also hopeful. The author eventually sees the light and goes on to a successful life although it is a life without her beloved sister, Amy.
I felt background story leading up to Amy's murder was exceptional - full of detail and reflection by the author. I was, however, disappointed in that the book's description said it also dealt with understanding why these abusive relationships were tolerated so long. After Amy's murder, it just seemed to stop abruptly. I felt the author came up a little short in this area. I would have liked more insight into her mindset. She talked about wanting acceptance from men all through the book and clearly she blames her father, but I would have liked more analysis of this area at the end. I think it would be helpful for young women who could potentially end up in abusive relationships to see the abuser for what they are and to get out before things progress to something serious.
All in all, this was a great listen. The narrator is excellent and I believe that can make all the difference when listening to a book verse reading it.
This book grips you at the start by telling you the end. You stay tuned to find out how it ended that way.
I didnt feel alone after reading this book. I lived a life much like the author. After leaving my relationship; I know I create the the world I live in; including what is acceptable and what is not.
If you have thought about writing a letter "if I am missing or dead"; question if you are more committed to your commitment or are you are making the right decision? Life is short; you only get one shot at each day. Are you hoping tomorrow will be different? Are you living and loving the way you want?
Love shouldnt hurt... You have to trust your gut... Risk will getting you from where you are today to where you want to be. It might be hard... but think of the alternative.
If you reach the end of your life; should your tombstone read "I was gonna"?
While I did enjoy the book, it was extremely co-dependently written. I was expecting more about why these women chose the men they chose instead of hearing the same old abusive behavior chapter after chapter. Never once did I hear her stand up for herself. She cared more about other people's needs other than her own.
This book was so powerful! The descriptions were so real, at times I felt like I knew the people involved. I had a hard time shutting off my Ipod while listening to this book. The fact that it is a true story makes it all the more riveting. I would buy any books by this author.