I saw myself in many of the examples and recognized misconceptions in thinking and the perspective of my partner. While listening I was able to envision a new erotic life with my partner that I couldn't conceive of before. He's reading it too so we can both learn the benefits. I may give this book to friends just getting married or having a baby. I will certainly recommend it to close friends.
Yes. I think this book gave me great insights into some of the mysteries surrounding sex (or often the lack thereof) in long term relationships...
I love that she is the reader. By reading it herself to her audience she was able to convey the book exactly in the way she intended to.
It is an intelligently written book on a very important subject. You will be glad you listened to it!
There were a jumble of issues compounding in my relationship that I knew were nearly universal, and yet I couldn't find much comfort in knowing that a majority of people in relationships shared my anxieties. Really, it caused me to wonder if there were just no answers to be had. Esther, through her work and private life, has obviously been observing these common anxieties for years. She has pioneered her way through the terra incognita of human sexual behavior, to bring back "Mating in Captivity". She delivers her observations in progressive "ah ha" moments, each one building more on the last, so that you feel as if you are embarking on adventure to revisit your sex drive and the wisdom that it imparts as you navigate through relationships and life. As the pace of the journey increases, so does your faith and appreciation for her as a practical tour guide in the volatile jungle of human sexual nature. She speaks about sex frankly and humorously, with the authority and exuberance of an explorer. While she certainly has the paper credentials, you can almost hear her relaxing into her chair as she gets into the more frank discussions of sexual details and fetishes, where other "sex experts" (i.e. school marms and dogmatic preachers) would merely tense up and change the subject.
Each chapter moved me miles ahead in solving not just my own puzzles, but also did wonders at illuminating the struggles of virtually every man or woman on earth that is attempting or has attempted to have an intimate relationship with another person, much less feel loved and appreciated on a consistent basis by that person. Furthermore, It isn't simple to integrate our private sexual selves and our public romantic selves. Especially when the topic of sex in general is so off limits in so many marriage bedrooms. And where a majority of "traditional" philosophies fall short or side step the elephant in the room, Esther delivers many unnerving, but also invigorating potential solutions.
Esther is an intriguing champion of individual cars and liberties, but she is also a wisely conscientious one. She doesn't really hold back on any subject, but she avoids both cruelty and cliche.
It's simple. The end of the book drove me to tears, as her choice of last words not only astonished, but also liberated me from a long-held lie that was bringing our 12 year relationship to it's knees. However, when I read that last sentence, I knew that the very thing that was broke would now have the opportunity to be fully restored. I now had all the keys for our respective cages, and I was more than willing to break us out.
In a promiscuous society where there is a lack of long-term erotic passion, Perel tells us why and how to fix it.
A light went on when I realized the tension between love and passion is a paradox to live with and not a problem to be solved.
Listening to her accent gives her more international "credibility." She has the experience of having lived in many cultures which don't have democracy in the bedroom as an unwritten rule.
No, there was too much thought provoking material to digest in one sitting. That being said, I listened to it 3 times in 6 weeks.
I look forward to listening to her next book.
Maybe, I loved listening, but her pronunciation of many words had me pausing to realize what she said. That interrupts the thought process a little, but over all, it was really good.
This book would be a really good tool in discussions with married people who may or may not be having difficulties. It could help solve a problem or just enrich an already good relationship.
This is a great reminder of the simple fact that marriage is not an end but a journey. Regardless of our relationship status, we don't own the other. We must always earn our place. There are so many great examples of assumptions brought in to relationship which don't serve the marriage nor the people in it. She also does a great job of exposing our current myths and assumptions about relationship. It's not an easy book in some ways. Well worth it!
Esther Perel's voice is beautiful and captivating. I always enjoy having the author read their own book, but it works especially well in this case. Mating in Captivity combines Perel's true patient stories with her own views on monogamy, marriage, partnership, and eroticism. Eros, which plays a huge role in the book, is described in a way that makes it seem practical, necessary, too-often forgotten, and desired.
Although I have not listened to the audio version, I think Mating in Captivity could be compared to 'In my Daughter's Bedroom'.
Perel's voice and accent allow for a full range of emotional expression. Raw, soothing, dripping with sensuality, and sensitive.
People who are interested in the topic of eroticism and sexuality studies will be the major audience for this book. I think it's also appropriate for anyone who is in a relationship which prioritizes mutual communication, and/or those who want to expand their knowledge and understanding of desire and eros.
Overall I was disappointed with this book. It started off ok, giving great examples and explaining the background however I felt the book never really moved on from that point.
I understand the author spend a great amount of time getting some great research to put into the book however again it never really moved on from that point.
There was a lot of build... and no climax, just left hanging.
What I'm saying is that there is a great job done with the background (where the author is coming from and why you should listen to her), some great examples and stories (what the problem is and real life examples of the problem).
The problem? There is no solution. Ok, to be fair I might have missed it while driving and getting map directions or a phone call... There is no concise solution to the problems presented.
At the end I felt like I have a better grasp for what the problem is - sex, intimacy, attraction fades over time... where is the solution? What I got from the book is that the solution is to focus more on creating the intimacy, romance, attraction and hopefully sex. um great.
Nope- I know what the problem is, I was looking for solutions.
Nope - The accent was pretty thick, detracts from enjoying the book - Esther should have handed this one off.
Nope, not unless you want to better understand the problem of long term mating in captivity WITHOUT a solution.
Please send me an email or a message with some solutions to the problems presented, or a refund - Thanks.
Esther Perel has created an incredible book that is both illuminating and extremely well written.
Her heavy accent took a little bit to get used to, but by the end of the book I had grown used to it, and I found her reading to be engaged and passionate.
The book will not give your relationship a quick fix... but instead requires that you do work and that both partners examine closely their own dynamic.