You will love Melody Beattie ... this book opened so many doors to me as well as helped me resolve so much of my problems ... i began to view things differently ... this book changed my life ... highly recommended
In the process of a divorce I decided to go to a therapist to see what I had done wrong, my partner of 15 years was leaving me with no meaningful explanation and I didn't see it coming. She mentioned the term codependency and boundaries to me, I found this book and it lead me to Adult Children of Alcoholics literature and a group. I couldn't believe all of these aspects of myself and my family I thought were uniquely insane were textbook alcoholic/disfunction. We didn't have alcohol in the family but was raised by a dry alcoholic with the same patterns. This has changed my life in such a healthy and wonderful way, I share the info with everyone I think can relate and am always shocked at how many people that is. I have come back to it years later when stress has triggered these behaviors in me and it helps get me back on track. I am so grateful! Great book, if you had any troubling disfunction in your upbringing or relationships after, if you think nobody ever listens to you, this book is for you.
I found it very difficult to follow the message of this book or get any real help from it. The author indicates there are a number of causes of co-dependency but seems to try to discuss them all at the same time. As a result, I found myself sorting through all of the causes and situations that did not pertain to me to try and find what did. The book would be much better and helpful if each cause, or similar causes, and resulting behaviors were grouped together in one or more chapters and discussed from start to finish.
Melody really humanizes Codependence in this book but using her own experiences. I found it very informative. Very helpful if you have been in a relationship with an alcoholic/addict or are one yourself.
This book reminds me to take care of ME first. We get spun into a circle of making sure everyone is cared for, nurtured,loved, fed, and their egos are boosted while silently fuming that our own needs go unmet. Why do I have to always be the one to reach out? This book helps to remind us that WE must take care of OUR needs first in order to be of any value to anyone else. I had forgotten that along the way.
I hate you! dont leave me!
No, this book needs to be taken in sections and absorbed, if you race thru it you miss so much. it is the book you want to listen to 50 times because you learn something you missed on time 30 by rushing.
Seriously it should be required reading in school.
Someone asked me to read this book and I thought I'm not codependent but as I read I realized I was. This book had so many good ideas and so many good points I would recommend this to anybody codependent are lots of really good rules to live by.
I'm actually going to listen to it for the second time to pick up anything I may of missed.
It is a very clear review on codependency, its characteristics and some tools to manage it to get "better" which will reflect in a more fulfilling life
I thought the book was timeless. Finally I have a name for my personality type. Now I can identify my ‘rescue’ efforts I can try and control my impulse to help everybody. I so can not be bothered. I am like a magnet for the weak and vulnerable. You build them up – and off they fly with someone else. I definitely want to have relationships that aren’t based around the other person’s tragedies. I have carried too many people too far and I am emotional barren and always feel like the door mat. Fancy me being codependent on that! I thought they were on me and I was stuck having to support them. I have just got rid of my last ‘lost puppy’. I love dogs more than humans for sure, so now I’m just happy to give and take with my pooch. At least my time will be my own, I will have money in the back saved! And she will love me and always be there for me when I need her [not turn all woes back to focus on their problems all the time]. 36 now, hopefully this book has now woken me enough to stop taking on other people stuff….because after all it’s none of my business
This has answered so many questions about myself, my family, and my relationships that are drowning me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I AM GOING TO PUT THESE NEW SKILLS TO WORK!!!!! Thank you for writing this book.