The other reviews I read made me think this would be full of great insights. I had to fast forward through the first part, which was a long, self-congratulatory interview with the author. The five languages were no big surprise - kind words, gift-giving, service, touching, and quality time. All five are good things to do for your loved ones. I'd call this a case of Expando Publishing - taking what should be a brochure or flyer and expanding it into a full length book.
This book seems to be written as an attempt to help couples on the rocks save their marriages. If you don't know or understand the basic principals of this book, I highly doubt this will be the fix you are looking for. On the other hand, if you have a good relationship and are looking to make it better, this should help do the trick. Be prepared for the authors strong southern drawl and some cheesy ideas. As with most "how-to" books, personal adaptation is the key.
The author has some good messages in this book. Understand what your spouse needs (their particular love language) and communicate with them in that way. (i.e. listen intently to someone who needs to be listened to or touch someone who needs to be touched.) Good premise and presented well.
My only negative would be the last hour being devoted to the writings of Jesus and how they can help your relationship. Can't we leave religion out of these types of books? I will go to my house of worship IF I want to hear religious sermons.
Thus 4 stars. 4 out of 5 hours were good for me.
Anyone who feels their relationships could use some fire (the good kind) should get this book. I know many couples who want a better relationship, but have no idea where to start. This book gives real-world practical advice from a genuine expert. Once you've identified your language and your spouse's language, the fun begins. My wife and I have been together a long time and we've always considered our relationship to be in pretty good shape. After listening to this book we have taken it to a whole new level. Understanding each other and ourselves have led to subtle but impactful changes in the way we interact.
Gary Chapman delivers and honest performance of material that obviously rings true for him and his clients. His stories and illustrations are good and his easy style makes the time go by quickly. If nothing else, you will learn things about yourself and that's rarely a bad thing. What do you have to lose?
This Really Works.
The author/reader did a great job. The southern drawl is comforting and easy-going.
Once you understand all the languages, how to recognize them in your spouse and how to "speak" them, it was like a light was turned on.
this book have a very practical way to look at love. the takeaways from the book are two major things:
1. love is a choice. the in-love feeling you have in the beginning is not real, just chemistry. after that leaves (and it always does) is when the real love starts. the real love is hard work. it is a conscious decision to show your partner that you love them. that is not always easy to do, but the work you put in will come back to you when your partner responds by putting in the work to show you that he or she loves you back.
2. everybody feels loved in a different way. Dr Chapman breaks it down into 5 ways. if your spouse feels loved when you express your love in one of these ways (or a variant). you feel loved when your spouse expresses their love in a certain way. your way and your spouce's way may not be the same.
if you can use the knowledge from #2 to apply #1, you will be on your way to a happy relationship :)
A great read which makes one think, if one is willing to spend some time in introspection and then more importantly in action. A wise person once wrote, “Thought without action is commentary” and I believe it holds true in this case. To identify one’s own love language and that of one’s partner is merely the first step.
It opens one’s eyes to the obvious conflict, which can arise when the love languages between partners are not the same. It only takes a moment to see where things went wrong in relationships past.
I do feel that the book could have been shorter however and found it to drag at times. Nevertheless, I definitely recommend it!!
Understanding that we all have different ways of communicating and listening has got to help you. Its not a cure-all as promoted, but a methodology. If you are having communcations issues, please do listen and absorb this. Its helps me. I am not much into the some of the religious implications/references that some of these books add in. Its not that there are 5 or 10 or any number of languages, its that you could be missunderstanding the other person and this book can help so go for it.
This book was exactly what I was looking for. The message was simple but very real. Dr Chapman walks you through the five languages at a pace that is easy to digest. You can easily apply this to everyday relationships without even taking notes! Every couple should read/listen to this book!