Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it.
"Books Will Save You"
Could you survive on your own, in the wild, with everyone out to make sure you don't live to see the morning? In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by 12 outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.
"One of the Best in Fiction"
Twelve-year-old Percy Jackson is about to be kicked out of boarding school...again. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stay out of trouble. But can he really be expected to stand by and watch while a bully picks on his scrawny best friend? Or not defend himself against his pre-algebra teacher when she turns into a monster and tries to kill him? Of course, no one believes Percy about the monster incident; he's not even sure he believes himself.
"Fun KIDS Book"
When Eragon finds a polished blue stone in the forest, he thinks it is the lucky discovery of a poor farm boy; perhaps it will buy his family meat for the winter. But when the stone brings a dragon hatchling, Eragon realizes he has stumbled upon a legacy nearly as old as the Empire itself.
"Delightful and Enjoyable"
If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.
"Tim Curry did a much much better job"
About three things I was certain. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
"My Not-So-Guilty Pleasure"
Oaths sworn . . . loyalties tested . . . forces collide. Following the colossal battle against the Empire's warriors on the Burning Plains, Eragon and his dragon, Saphira, have narrowly escaped with their lives. Still there is more at hand for the Rider and his dragon, as Eragon finds himself bound by a tangle of promises he may not be able to keep.
"Excellent as always"
After a summer spent trying to prevent a catastrophic war among the Greek gods, Percy Jackson finds his seventh-grade school year unnervingly quiet. His biggest problem is dealing with his new friend, Tyson, a six-foot-three, mentally challenged homeless kid who follows Percy everywhere, making it hard for Percy to have any "normal" friends.
"great family fare"
When Lyra and her daemon Pantalaimon decide to spy on a presentation her uncle, the commanding Lord Asriel, is making to the elders of Jordan College they have no idea that they will become witnesses to an attempted murder, and even less that they are taking the first steps in a journey that will lead them into danger and adventure unlike anything Lyra's unfettered imagination has conjured up.
"More for adults than kids..."
Katniss Everdeen continues to struggle to protect herself and her family from the Capitol in this second novel from the best-selling Hunger Games trilogy.
When Percy Jackson receives an urgent distress call from his friend Grover, he immediately prepares for battle. He knows he'll need his powerful demigod allies, Annabeth and Thalia, at his side; his trusty bronze sword, Riptide; and...a ride from his mom.
"Great continuation of the Percy Jackson Series"
Newbery Award-winner Gary Paulsen's best-known book comes to audio in this breathless, heart-gripping drama about a boy pitted against the wilderness with only a hatchet and a will to live. On his way to visit his recently divorced father in the Canadian mountains, thirteen-year-old Brian Robeson is the only survivor when the single-engine plane crashes. His body battered, his clothes in shreds, Brian must now stay alive in the boundless Canadian wilderness.
"Survival Story for Grades 5 or 6 through 8."
Against all odds, Katniss Everdeen has survived the Hunger Games twice. But now that she's made it out of the bloody arena live, she's still not safe. The Capitol is angry. The Capitol wants revenge....
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.
"Fun, fun, fun"
As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?
I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.
"Snickett Should Stick to Writing"
For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella ever could have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning.
All year the half-bloods have been preparing for battle against the Titans, knowing the odds of victory are grim. Kronos's army is stronger than ever, and with every god and half-blood he recruits, the evil Titan's power only grows. While the Olympians struggle to contain the rampaging monster Typhon, Kronos begins his advance on New York City, where Mount Olympus stands virtually unguarded. Now it's up to Percy Jackson and an army of young demigods to stop the Lord of Time.
"10 y.o. boy became a READER with this book!"
Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.
"Provide some sanity while driving kids around"
To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare, woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, she has endured a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife to reach the ultimate turning point.
"I couldn't wait for the audio book"
Aidan and Meg Falconer are their parents' only hope. The Falconers are facing life in prison -- unless Aidan and Meg can follow a trail of clues to prove their innocence. The problem? Right now they're trapped in a juvenile detention center. Until they escape one night -- and find themselves on the run, both from the authorities and from a sinister attacker who has his own reason to stop them.
"Great book for older readers but..."
When Wendy Everly first discovers the truth about herself—that she's a changeling switched at birth—she knows her life will never be the same. Now she’s about to learn that there’s more to the story…. She shares a closer connection to her Vittra rivals than she ever imagined—and they’ll stop at nothing to lure her to their side. With the threat of war looming, her only hope of saving the Trylle is to marry a powerful royal. But that means walking away from Finn, her handsome bodyguard who’s strictly off limits… and Loki, a Vittra prince with whom she shares a growing attraction.
"BETTER THAN THE FIRST"
Being able to detect black magic isnt all tea and crumpetsand for Theodosia Throckmorton, it can be a decidedly tricky business! When Sticky Will drags Theo to a magic show featuring the Great Awi Bubu, she quickly senses there is more to the magician than he lets on, setting in motion a chain of events she never could have bargained for.
When Wendy Everly was six-years-old, her mother was convinced she was a monster and tried to kill her. It isn't until 11 years later that Wendy discovers her mother might have been right. With the help of Finn Holmes, Wendy finds herself in a world she never knew existed - a world both beautiful and frightening, and Wendy's not sure she wants to be a part of it.
"Light and Fun!"
With the head-to-head battle against the villainous Lokesh behind her, Kelsey confronts a new heartbreak: in the wake of his traumatic experience, her beloved Ren no longer remembers who she is. As the trio continues their quest by challenging five cunning and duplicitous dragons, Ren and Kishan once more vie for her affections--leaving Kelsey more confused than ever.
"Big-Time Quest Adventure and Heartbreaking Emotion"
Alice Bonham thinks she's finally found a balance in her life between the supernatural and real life with her brother Milo. Jack - her sorta vampire boyfriend - keeps her at arm's length to keep her safe. As for his brother Peter... she's not sure where he's at, or what he wants with her. Worse still, she's not even sure what she wants with Peter. When tragedy happens, Alice finds herself struggling with a terrible choice. Her decision has consequences that reach farther than she'd ever imagined.
"Hopefully Connective Tissue To Book 3"
Aiden and Meg Falconer are on the hunt for the one man who might be able to free their parents from jail. The hitch? There are plenty of other people on the hunt for THEM, including the FBI and an eerie, hairless killer. After one close call too many, the Falconers find themselves stowed away on a ship -- but the chase doesn't end there. Instead, it moves to close quarters, where every step, every breath, could get them caught.
Back in Oregon, Kelsey tries to pick up the pieces of her life and push aside her feelings for Ren. But danger lurks around the corner, forcing her to return to India where she embarks on a second quest--this time with Ren's dark, bad-boy brother Kishan, who has also fallen prey to the Tiger's Curse. Fraught with danger, spellbinding dreams, and choices of the heart, Tiger's Quest brings the trio one step closer to breaking the spell that binds them.
Kaitlyn Fairchild's prophetic drawings frighten her, but she is offered a scholarship to the Zetes Institute with four other psychically gifted students that seems like a new beginning - until they discover an experiment that can destroy them all.
The original cast of the famed Swallows and Amazons series is sailing under the stars and the command of Captain Flint in the South China Sea when Gibbet, their pet monkey, grabs the captain's cigar and drops it in the fuel tank. In minutes, the ship is ablaze (and doomed), and our seven luckless protagonists are adrift in two small boats. They make their way to land, only to find themselves the captives of one of the last remaining pirates operating off the China Coast.
Aiden and Meg Falconer have been crossing the country as fugitives in order to prove their parents didn't commit a crime. They've been chased from state to state by the FBI . . . and by a killer they know only as Hairless Joe. Now Hairless Joe is getting closer than ever -- and the Falconers are getting even closer than that to the truth.
Nearly escaping from the evil Mr. Zetes, Kaitlyn Fairchild and her psychic team are dismayed when Gabriel defects to the Institute, and Kaitlyn pretends to betray the group as well in an effort to save her friend.
The second volume in the Dark Visions trilogy follows Kaitlyn Fairchild and her four friends as they listen to the psychic voices calling them and travel to an isolated house - where terror awaits.
"3 star book; 5 star reader"
Aiden and Meg Falconer's parents were framed and sent to prison, and they're traveling cross country, looking for the man who did it. Now they've found him and need to find a way to catch him before he escapes yet again. But "Hairless Joe" is professional killer who is not likely to let two kids stop him. It's time for a showdown. Who will win?
As the last season of Family Affair comes to a close, prime-time teen star Kaitlin Burke is no closer to deciding what she wants to do after the show ends. Struggling with career choices and bummed over a ridiculous catfight with her BFF, Liz, Kaitlin is so mixed up she even starts to semi-bond with her archnemesis, Sky. Worst of all, she falls in with two of Hollywood's biggest party fiends when one of them asks her, "Don't you ever do what you want to do?"
It seems like the summer of dreams come true for Hollywood princess Kaitlin Burke: the media loves her her boyfriend, and she's starring in a movie by her all-time favorite director Hutch Adams. What could be sweeter? But life on set is not as perfect as the (again), super-cute and funny Austin Meyers is finally makeup and costumes. And with an old love and a scheming new publicist on the scene, it's about to get a whole lot messier.
Aiden and Meg Falconer are out to find the evidence that will free their parents from a life sentence in prison. But in order to do that, they have to live undercover. Ever since they broke out of a juvenile detention facility, they've been chased by the FBI ... and by a strange killer they've nicknamed Hairless Joe. Now their story has hit the airwaves, and suddenly everyone is looking for the Falconer kids.
One man holds the key to freeing Aidan and Meg Falconer's parents from prison: a mysterious figure named Frank Lindenauer. Aidan and Meg must cross the country to try to catch him...even as the FBI tries to catch them first. In California, Aidan and Meg fall in with a crowd that already has its share of trouble going on. They want to believe they've found friends who will help them out. But if they're not careful, these "friends" will sell them out instead.
Tyrell's father is just out of jail, and Tyrell doesn't know how to deal with that. It's bad enough that his brother Troy is in foster care and that his mother is no help whatsoever. Now there's another thing up in his face, just when he's trying to settle down. Tyrell's father has plans of his own, and doesn't seem to care whether or not Tyrell wants to go along with them. Tyrell can see the crash that's coming - with his dad, with the rest of his family, with the girls he's seeing - but he's not sure he can stop it. Or if he even wants to.
"Couldn't stop listening!"
Holly Cathers's world shatters when her parents are killed in a rafting accident. She is wrenched from her home in San Francisco and sent to Seattle to live with her aunt, Marie-Claire, and her twin cousins, Amanda and Nicole.But sorrow and grief soon give way to bewildered fascination as one by one, strange incidents begin to occur. Such as the fact that any desire Holly whispers to her cat seems to come true.
"Great Story, Wrong Narrator"