Reading this book is like a "feel good" session with a therapist. It encourages you to let go of your imperfections and live more whole heartedly. When listening to the stories in the book, you realize all those little negative thoughts that stop you from being authentic (for example, "he's being a jerk" instead of "he said something that was true and painful). The journey towards wholehearted living is a practice you would do everyday (or try as much as you can). I'm sure the key points that I take away from this book now are those things meaningful to me at this point in my life. I plan to read the book again and see if I find other things to work on.
The ideas in the book are simple. But that's because the method to change is simple -- find the right approach for you and identify what would motivate you to continue day after day. People often fail because of two reasons. They talk about or read about change but don't take any action. Or they start without having a plan or consider how to get back on track when slipping up occasionally.
If you're ready to make a change, this is a great book to walk you through it. The author describes the steps (e.g., plan and prepare). She gives examples of where people have succeeded and failed in these steps. You decide what would work for you. Go through the book slowly. Absorb a few ideas and practice the techniques. Be willing to tweak it so it works for you (e.g., putting sticky notes to remind yourself rather than beat yourself up when you forget to do something). After accomplishing those steps, move on to the next section in the book.
Most of the tips mentioned by the author are basic. With realistic scenarios and dialogues, they really illuminate how women can subtly sabotage their career development. This audio sounds like it's a recording from an hour-long seminar. She does a wonderful job of speaking clearly and concisely on points where women can make a difference in their careers.
Here are the main points of the book.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
✦ Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Remember a person's name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
✦ Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
✦ Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.