In 2012 Pete Sortwell did something no one had ever done before: He wrote a book based entirely on Amazon product reviews. The book was so successful, he wrote a series. The series was so successful, he spent the next year releasing other projects he'd been working on. Now, for the first time, the stories he wrote while learning his craft are available.
They came in peace; unfortunately the good folks of Little Lump, Texas, didn't get the memo. They're really embarrassed, especially Gertie, who managed to shoot down several of the alien's space ships with her holy land-to-air rocket launcher. Little did she realize in doing so that she would be unknowingly creating a far bigger danger for Little Lump that could spell doom for them all.
Keeping the Upper Paw: A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human is a humorous look at life, humans, and living with humans through the eyes of a cat. All of the cats in this book were once a part of the family, cohabiting together in the household of Ms. Moran and Ms. Bishop.
Hemorrhoids suck big time! Hemorrhoids feel terrible! Hemorrhoids hurt!
"Hits the very fundament of your being deeply."
Take a journey unlike any you've taken before with Illiturature Books. When has a book ever showed you the view from the top of Mount Everest or accompanied you to the moon or picked up lunch? But you'll find all of that and much more in the first title by Illiturature Books: The Most Amazing Book You've Ever Heard in Your Entire Life...just make sure you're worth it.
You probably couldn't define boarding houses, much less think about boarding houses. But now's your chance of a lifetime to ponder boarding houses!
Humorist Allison Erahl pulls no punches in her enjoyable rant about how much work sucks. She says all the things you have thought but probably never said out loud because you want to stay employed. Offering tips on how to avoid work while at work and how to deal with idiot bosses and coworkers, this guide is also practical as well.
Short--very short. Six hundred words of pure yellow-teeth glory!
"Praising Yellow Teeth"
Infused with her trademark saucy, sweet, and funny voice, Grace’s Guide is a tongue-in-cheek handbook for millennials, encompassing everything a young or new (or regular or old) adult needs to know, from surviving a breakup to recovering from a hangover. Read by the author in her inimitable style, Grace’s Guide features interactive elements and exclusive stories from Grace’s own misadventures - like losing her virginity solely because her date took her to a Macaroni Grill - and many other hilarious lessons she learned the hard way.
"Better than I had even hoped!"
From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new collection of essays taking his listeners on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences.
"Devout Fan Disappointed"
From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. If you like Sarah’s television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler’s Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea and Artie Lange’s Too Fat to Fish, you’ll love The Bedwetter.
"Adequate but not great..."
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
"Like a Cast of Thousands"
Aisha Tyler, comedian, actress, cohost of CBS's The Talk, star of Archer, and creator of the top-ranked podcast Girl on Guy, serves up a spectacular collection of her own self-inflicted wounds. From almost setting herself on fire, to vomiting on a boy she liked, to getting drunk and sleeping through the SATs, to going into crushing debt to pay for college and then throwing away her degree to become a comedian, Aisha's life has been a series of spectacularly epic fails. And she's got the scars to prove it. Literally.
"Love it - weightier than you might think"
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
"Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award"
Let's be honest - nobody has more fun than atheists. Don’t believe it? Well, consider this: For nonbelievers, every day you’re alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette - the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller - whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike.
"Yes, he curses"
Join Brian, as he tries to woo the girl that works in the local shop, will passing out face down in super glue while trying to make her a gift hinder his chances of getting her to go out with him? Will Father Frederick, an alcoholic vicar who has a slight issue with stalking be able to win back the heart of a woman he loved a long time ago?
Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
"Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!"
Dave is opinionated. Dave will give you his opinion whether you want it or not.
If you're one of those people who loves a good rant then this audiobook is for you. Dave rants about everything you can think of including: Jeremy Kyle, Britain's Got Talent, Botox, ITV, Easy Jet, Losers, HR Departments. So if you have a bee in your bonnet or even a chip on your shoulder, don't do yoga or tantric breathing, simply read The World According to Dave.
"Ranting with STYLE"
If you're one of those people who loves a good rant then this e-book is for YOU. Dave rants about everything you can think of including: City Link, the NHS, Car parks and bosses.
"Rollicking good fun"
From comedian and writer (Parks and Recreation, Eastbound & Down) Harris Wittels comes a hysterical breakdown of boasts, brags, and self-adulation disguised as humble comments and complaints - based on his popular @humblebrag Twitter feed. >Something immediately annoyed Harris Wittels about Twitter. All of a sudden it was acceptable to brag, so long as those brags were ever-so-thinly disguised as transparent humility....
"The best purchase I have made on Audible!"
In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
If you are driving, pull over. If you are at work, close your door, unless you don't mind your colleagues seeing you doubled over, in tears, on your office floor. With this recording, taped before a delirious sold out audience at Carnegie Hall, you are there as David Sedaris performs new stories from his upcoming book. A parrot who mimics an ice maker, lovers quarreling over a rubber hand, and a Santa Claus who moonlights from his job as bishop of Turkey, the cast of characters is like no other.
"Material that exists on other books."
LIVE recordings of new, previously unreleased David Sedaris stories!
"I Wish There Was More"
The brother of patriarch Phil Robertson, Uncle Si has a limitless supply of stories about his childhood, duck hunting adventures, his days in Vietnam, and everything in between. Now the best of those tales are gathered into this roaring collection.
Si shares stories of the more than 25 marriage proposals he's received in the mail (some with photos!), how he came to use a green Tupperware cup for his ever-present sweet tea, and how his cigarette smoke made a deer cough (he's since quit smoking).
"Audible's description inaccurate"
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Often compared to Garrison Keillor and Mark Twain, Patrick F. McManus maintains just the right balance between baffled innocence and conspiratorial confidence. Since 1979, this humorist has been delighting readers with hilarious stories recounting his childhood in rural Idaho and relating his misadventures in the great outdoors. Whether you're a sportsman or a couch potato, he will have you laughing out loud at his escapades.
"Good enough to listen to over and over"
Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House - complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
"Failure to achieve objective."
Chances are you've been there before: On an awkward first date where you find yourself stuck playing 20 questions with a person who has broccoli stuck in their teeth, or the one who shows up so on-the-rocks wasted that they end up passed out in their bowl of clam chowder before the main course arrives. All My Friends Are Engaged is a collection of dating disaster stories, packed with witty and relatable answers to the age-old annoying question of "Why are you still single?"
These four short biographical stories of teenage delusions mainly recount the early days in actor, film director, and writer Griffin Dunne's life. Whether he's filling someone else's shoes in a new job, trying to impress an older girlfriend, or attempting to get noticed by a President, Dunne's stories are sure to engage and entertain.
Actor Stephen Tobolowsky has appeared in over 200 movies and television shows. He has played everyone from Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day to Sandy Ryerson in Glee. He has amused thousands with his true stories on The Tobolowsky Files at Slashfilm.com and iTunes. Here he shares some homespun philosophy and more true stories that prove tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll are often the most humiliating and almost always the most enjoyable.
Motherhood is absolutely hilarious if you're not too exhausted to notice! These writings feature funny, blogging moms who chronicle motherhood from a uniquely contemporary perspective. From labor pains to potty disasters, weight gain, holiday mayhem, teen angst, empty nest syndrome, home renovations and even colonoscopy exams, See Mom Run is the perfect prescription for today's harried parents!
Demonstrating once again why he is one of Canada's most loved jokesters, Black masterfully captures the laughter that often bursts out of the seams of everyday life. From an unexpected drag race to a Google search for a picture of the illusive "Arthur the Meek", you just never know when a regular day is going to turn into comedic genius. Black provides uproarious insight into uses a matador might have for a teacup, mango, or simply some paper towel....
The best-selling author of A Chip Off the Old Black, Black is the New Green, and many more is black for another round of gut-busting stories and essays. This time round, Arthur Black turns his critical eye and warped funny bone to the world beyond Salt Spring Island, lambasting the amateur ballplayer who sued because the sun was in his eyes, the craze for blood sports and our anachronistic fetish for suits and ties.