Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told....
"Tina Fey broke my new SUV"
Never one to shy away from the uproarious, challenging, and remarkable moments that make up life, this exceptionally candid book will have listeners wincing with recognition, nodding their heads in solidarity, and laughing out loud. Written with Amy's signature candor, she reflects on her often raucous childhood antics, her hard won and incomparable rise to comedic stardom, and the courage it takes to approach the world with astounding honesty every single day.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
"How the Bloggess almost made me crash my car!"
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
"Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads"
From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new collection of essays taking his listeners on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences.
"Devout Fan Disappointed"
Dustin Ybarra performing comedy on bad jobs, money, and fast food live at Go Bananas on September 15, 2012.
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"Swagger and mirth"
David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.
"You will ROFL"
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
There is nothing more wonderful than a mother's love. There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you're perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?
"Lol awesome book!"
Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet ("choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover") and decrying the worst offenders ("kale is the early morning of foods"). Fans flocked to his New York Times best-selling book Dad Is Fat to hear him riff on fatherhood but now, in his second book, he will give them what they really crave - his thoughts on all things culinary(ish).
"Funny, but read more like a series of jokes"
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
"Hanging out with Rachel Dratch"
Jen Kirkman wants to be the voice in your head that says, "Hey, you're okay. Even if you sometimes think you aren't! And especially if other people try to tell you you're not." In I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself, Jen offers up all the gory details of a life permanently in progress. She reassures you that it's okay to not have life completely figured out, even when you reach middle age (and find your first gray pubic hair!).
"3.25 Stars: If You Have Friends, Or A Sister--"
A frank and hilarious guide to every man's mind-numbing nemesis: Shopping.Guys, spent one too many Saturdays marooned at the mall? This indispensable sanity-saver exposes the hidden history and insidious psychology of shopping. Hint: it's crazy. Plus, this book cool-headedly guides you through the treacherous, credit card-melting mazes.
"funny, short and to the point"
Though they have the vote and the Pill and haven't been burned as witches since 1727, life isn't exactly a stroll down the catwalk for modern women. They are beset by uncertainties and questions: Why are they supposed to get Brazilians? Why do bras hurt? Why the incessant talk about babies? And do men secretly hate them? Caitlin Moran interweaves provocative observations on women's lives with laugh-out-loud funny scenes from her own, from adolescence to her development as a writer, wife, and mother.
"Hysterical manual for the 21st century woman"
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life.
"Absolutely One of the Funniest Books on Audible."
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately"
In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives, a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.
"Read on...Hilarity Ensues"
Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
My ex-wife, what a monster! She can destroy, even devour, entire cities! Will anyone stop her? Maybe, the Jolly White Giant, Sihrc, can do it!
A small group of us enjoy a simple joke that doesn't require much thought and would be considered tasteless to the normal person. Of course, what exactly dictates "normal" or "tasteful" is completely up for debate, but I'm talking about their general definitions in our society. We're the ones who chuckle at a loud fart, giggle at an accidental fall or snicker at a sexual innuendo. We are the few that enjoy the irreverent. We like comedy that shows a lack of respect to something serious.
Sure, you know about chicken soup, but do you know about a souped-up chicken? Jonathan Segal Chicken was just another piece of kosher poultry, but he decided he wanted something more. He wanted to fly, and fly he did, on adventures that take him out into the world and beyond.
Well, now you've gone and done it, America. You've elected Donald K. Trump president, and the US will never again be the same! The problem for all of us is that he's got plans - lots of them. The list reads like a bad acid trip: nominating Bernie Madoff for secretary of the Treasury; "Trumpifying" the Constitution; making personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of one of America's great news magazines - to name just a few.
Kira Soltanovich knows that there is no best part of waking up when you're the mother of a three year old, performed live at MI's Westside Comedy Theater on May 1, 2014.
[Contains explicit content] Noah Gardenswartz doesn't want children but has had some interesting interactions with them. Performed live at Mi's Westside Comedy Theater on February 12, 2016.
[Contains explicit content] Geoff Tate is glad the holidays are over after a visit to Walmart. Again, recorded at Go Bananas Comedy Club on January 12, 2014.
[Contains explicit content] Wrangling with sobriety was very tough for Lisa Landry but she can find her support when she's ready. Performed for her album Compliments Below the Waist recorded at the Comedy Works in Denver, CO on July 11, 2015.
[Contains explicit content] Sally Brooks is not the cleanest or most graceful person but she doesn't deserve to be accused of being disgusting! Performed for her debut album, Brooks Was Here, recorded at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, OH on June 3, 2015.
[Contains explicit content] Geoff Tate offers his solution to gun control in America. Again, recorded at Go Bananas Comedy Club on January 12, 2014.
[Contains explicit content] Emmy Blotnick is living alone and coming to some painful realizations, performed live at Mi's Westside Comedy Theater on November 7, 2015.
[Contains explicit content] Kevin Camia dreams of being a manly man, while he enjoys his favorite makeover show. Color, recorded at the Punch Line in San Francisco,CA on January 7, 2016.
[Contains explicit content] It's not all bad when Marcella Arguello sometimes gets mistaken for a man. Performed live at Mi's Westside Comedy Theater on December 18, 2015.
Andy Hendrickson performing comedy on his mom, live at Mad House Comedy Club on June 20, 2015.
Michael Palascak doesn't really know how to handle divorce, so he tries to contextualize it in terms of his family. Performed for his album, Job Opening, recorded at Zaines in Chicago, IL in 2014.
When a parent calls for some tech help you can't exactly turn them away. Oh, but Tommy Johnagin wanted to. Performed for his album, Stand Up Comedy 3, recorded on May 4, 2014 at the Denver Comedy Works in Denver, CO.
Gabe Kea's mom gets in a little accident, performed live at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, OH on May 24, 2014.
Patrick Keane wants us to give it up to all the moms out there. Performed at Go Bananas on February 15, 2014.
Natasha Muse performing comedy about motherhood perspective, live at The Business at The Dark Room on April 30, 2014.
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
"Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T."
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut’s words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"This IS nice"
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
"Looking forward to the second book."
Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House - complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.
"Great before Ford... Heavily liberal bias towards more recent presidents."
Queue up these hilarious real-life stories from the video clerking trenches. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands. No rewinding required!
You'd know Fred Stoller if you saw him. He has appeared on practically every great sitcom you've ever seen - Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, and Murphy Brown just to name a few. But he has never been a regular on a series, always the guest star. He longs to find a showbiz home. Instead, he is a television foster child, shuttling from show to show in the vain hope that one will finally agree to keep him.
American writer Samuel Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain has given us some literary gems with Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and his travel adventures in 19th-century Europe and to Australia and New Zealand. In How to Tell a Story and Other Essays, Twain discusses the telling of stories, rather than providing more stories.
"Does not disappoint! Very funny!"
Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg's wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying "yes" to everything - and everyone - and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment. Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: She spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she'd put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate.
"Funny, good for passing time"
Chris Gethard has often found himself in awkward situations most people, including you, probably would have safely avoided. The good news is now, thanks to this book, you can enjoy the painfully funny consequences of his unfortunate decisions at a safe distance. A Bad Idea I'm About to Do invites listeners to join Chris as he navigates an adolescence and adulthood mired in hilariously ill-fated nerdom, and to take comfort in the fact that - as his experiences often prove - things could always be much, much worse.
"Not as funny as I though"
The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.
"Thought provoking message"
P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.
In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O'Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman - a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, and thus of avoiding calling attention to one's own awkwardness and stupidity.
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
"Not A Bad Deal At All"
I Probably Shouldn't Have Done That chronicles the series of vast, at times incomprehensible, mistakes that Jules makes in an attempt to get over her first "serious" boyfriend. It follows her through drunken nights, drunker nights, bad dates, worse dates, encounters with her ex, and a very few glistening moments of hope and self-realization. It is a thoroughly sad break-up story, an occasionally naive love story, and a comical train wreck throughout.
Your future is...limited! Wait, we mean...limiting...No, hold on...limitless. Sometimes your first steps into the "real world" send you falling flat on your face. It's natural to be optimistic about new experiences, but most of us set ourselves up only to be let down every time. And disappointment hurts like a $%&*#. News flash: You don't have to be an Einstein to survive adult life. You don't even have to abandon your standards to get what you want. All you have to do is keep your expectations realistic.
"If only I had this book in my twenties"
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
"Qualifies as my most irritating Audible purchase"
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.