Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told....
"Tina Fey broke my new SUV"
Never one to shy away from the uproarious, challenging, and remarkable moments that make up life, this exceptionally candid book will have listeners wincing with recognition, nodding their heads in solidarity, and laughing out loud. Written with Amy's signature candor, she reflects on her often raucous childhood antics, her hard won and incomparable rise to comedic stardom, and the courage it takes to approach the world with astounding honesty every single day.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
"How the Bloggess almost made me crash my car!"
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
"Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads"
From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new collection of essays taking his listeners on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences.
"Devout Fan Disappointed"
Dustin Ybarra performing comedy on bad jobs, money, and fast food live at Go Bananas on September 15, 2012.
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"Swagger and mirth"
David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.
"You will ROFL"
Jen Kirkman wants to be the voice in your head that says, "Hey, you're okay. Even if you sometimes think you aren't! And especially if other people try to tell you you're not." In I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself, Jen offers up all the gory details of a life permanently in progress. She reassures you that it's okay to not have life completely figured out, even when you reach middle age (and find your first gray pubic hair!).
"3.25 Stars: If You Have Friends, Or A Sister--"
There is nothing more wonderful than a mother's love. There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you're perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?
"Lol awesome book!"
Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet ("choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover") and decrying the worst offenders ("kale is the early morning of foods"). Fans flocked to his New York Times best-selling book Dad Is Fat to hear him riff on fatherhood but now, in his second book, he will give them what they really crave - his thoughts on all things culinary(ish).
"Funny, but read more like a series of jokes"
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
"Hanging out with Rachel Dratch"
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life.
"Absolutely One of the Funniest Books on Audible."
Though they have the vote and the Pill and haven't been burned as witches since 1727, life isn't exactly a stroll down the catwalk for modern women. They are beset by uncertainties and questions: Why are they supposed to get Brazilians? Why do bras hurt? Why the incessant talk about babies? And do men secretly hate them? Caitlin Moran interweaves provocative observations on women's lives with laugh-out-loud funny scenes from her own, from adolescence to her development as a writer, wife, and mother.
"Hysterical manual for the 21st century woman"
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately"
In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
"Just Plain FUNNYYYY!!!!!!!!!"
In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives, a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.
"Read on...Hilarity Ensues"
This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
One Big Joke (And 300 Shorter Ones) has been maniacally shouted by the author into three hours of non-stop laughter. As you listen, you will discover that Jon D. Webster has the comedic timing of a Swiss watch that tells hilarious jokes. Peppered with the occasional appropriate, impactful, and effective use of profanity, Jon gives us his unique take on more subjects than he probably should have.
Well, Max did warn me about being a movie extra. He did say it was a bad idea to answer the advertisement in the newspaper. I think he feared I would end up in some dodgy set somewhere, hanging from a ceiling, playing the part of the dead. Or maybe even an extra in an adult movie. I can't tell him the truth - that I wouldn't have minded that. But no such luck. The movie I was in didn't have dead bodies or naked bodies hanging around. Disappointed as I am with that, this challenge did show me something that I had long dreamed of.
This book is dedicated to the many opponents who would like to see Trump defeated and the end to his presidential campaign. They feel Trump's campaign has been based on insults, humiliation, and inciting his followers to violence. He has been called a bigot and racist and compared to Hitler. Some have considered him a dangerous evil monster. In the past, many dangerous and scary beasts have gone extinct, so this book has been created in this spirit of comparing Trump to many now extinct beasts.
Think you're all that and a bag of chips, eh? Well, in this episode of Limelight, comedian Eddie Pepitone talks to us about complexities of pride. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's always hilarious. Featuring performances from Rooftop Comedy clubs across the country, we're proud to share this episode with you
When the legal system has disappointed, humbled, and humiliated you, there is still one arrow in your quiver. Call the Shortcut Man. Dick Henry, the Shortcut Man, is a purveyor of unlicensed, unofficial, and unauthorized justice. In Ipso Fatso, Dick follows the breadcrumbs leading into the lofty halls of power and influence in Los Angeles. Once there, Dick achieves the unexpected, but along the way settles a variety of scores and puts a number of bad guys in touch with their inner child.
If you could repeat one year of your life, what would you do differently? This heartwarming and hilarious novel features three best friends who get the chance to return to the year they turned 40, the year that altered all of their lives in ways big and small - and get the opportunity to change their future. But it doesn't take long for all three women to learn that reliving a life and making different decisions leads only to new problems and consequences and that the mistakes they made may in fact have been the best choices.
Following an unfortunate encounter with Spanish gin measures and an enthusiastic estate agent, retired special effects engineer Terry England is the proud owner of a nearly completed villa in a new urbanization in Southern Spain. Not quite how he intended to spend his enforced early retirement, Terry nevertheless tries to make the best of his new life. If only the local council can work out which house he actually bought and the leaf blowers would please stop.
Warning: This book contains jokes for kids that not only will make any grown up burst out in laughter but will make any child's day a good day. Jokes for Kids is scientifically proven to make you and any child happier! Kids jokes are fun no matter what age you're in! Enjoy these jokes and riddles!
Such barking, such endless yapping from a dog that usually holds his peace unless he is unduly troubled can only mean one thing. It is our turn to be honored by a visit from Oscar the 'possum. Oscar is what you'd call a shadowy figure. He never does come out where you can see him in broad daylight, like birds and squirrels and other creatures do. I don't know if it's because he doesn't like the looks of us or he thinks we wouldn't like the looks of him. Or maybe he's just too shy to come right up and introduce himself.
Danny Johnson, a writer whose career never materialized, moves with his wife and children to Cascade Falls, a water-filled golf community in the bone-dry desert outside of Phoenix. Grudgingly going to work for his father Ted, the Elmer Gantry of home development, Danny's quest for stability ultimately comes up short. His marriage begins to fray and the housing market goes bust, forcing him and those around him to examine their lives anew.
[Contains explicit content] This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
Join me and my Office of Paranormal Studies licensed team on an epic  adventure as we travel the country uncovering the mysteries you've definitely never heard about before. Together we will lift the lid on the supernatural, and then quickly close the lid again before weird things start coming out. These mysteries range from mysterious home-helps to dubious ball pits, farting dogs, parish council conspiracies, and even evil bingo dabbers.
After a disastrous 31st birthday party where she gets stood up by a man she isn't supposed to be dating, Peri McKenna decides it's time to change what hasn't been working - which is pretty much everything. Her love life is going nowhere fast, she's bored to tears by a job that makes her the office pariah, and the lifelong junk food addiction that used to be somewhat quirky is now positively problematic. To top it all off, her newly purchased home is falling apart, and wishful thinking hasn't done much to fix the leaky roof.
Mentoring - I can do that. I did learn from the yoga class that we have to be mindful of the needs of others. Maybe I'm sometimes a bit too, ahem, mindful of other's needs, but that's another story. So I've volunteered to be a mentor and I know exactly what I have to do. I'll just tell the little girl my whole life story, get her to write it all out and say, "Now, don't do any of that and you will have a great life." My only fear is that she'll call the police on me, or maybe even the men in white coats.
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
"Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T."
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut’s words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"This IS nice"
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
"Looking forward to the second book."
Queue up these hilarious real-life stories from the video clerking trenches. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands. No rewinding required!
Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House - complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.
"Great before Ford... Heavily liberal bias towards more recent presidents."
Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg's wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying "yes" to everything - and everyone - and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment. Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: She spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she'd put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate.
"Funny, good for passing time"
In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O'Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman - a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, and thus of avoiding calling attention to one's own awkwardness and stupidity.
You'd know Fred Stoller if you saw him. He has appeared on practically every great sitcom you've ever seen - Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, and Murphy Brown just to name a few. But he has never been a regular on a series, always the guest star. He longs to find a showbiz home. Instead, he is a television foster child, shuttling from show to show in the vain hope that one will finally agree to keep him.
American writer Samuel Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain has given us some literary gems with Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and his travel adventures in 19th-century Europe and to Australia and New Zealand. In How to Tell a Story and Other Essays, Twain discusses the telling of stories, rather than providing more stories.
"Does not disappoint! Very funny!"
Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
Chris Gethard has often found himself in awkward situations most people, including you, probably would have safely avoided. The good news is now, thanks to this book, you can enjoy the painfully funny consequences of his unfortunate decisions at a safe distance. A Bad Idea I'm About to Do invites listeners to join Chris as he navigates an adolescence and adulthood mired in hilariously ill-fated nerdom, and to take comfort in the fact that - as his experiences often prove - things could always be much, much worse.
"Not as funny as I though"
They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same.
"Bland simply bland!!!!"
The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.
"Thought provoking message"
P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.
Perhaps all of Jonathan Ames' problems, and the genesis of this hilarious audiobook, can be traced back to the late onset of his puberty. After all, it can't be easy to be 16 with a hairless penis "undistinguishable from that of a five-year-old's".
"not worth the download"
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
"Not A Bad Deal At All"
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
"I Guess You Had to Be There?"
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.