Sh-t My Dad Says Audiobook By Justin Halpern cover art

Sh-t My Dad Says

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Sh-t My Dad Says

By: Justin Halpern
Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers Fatherhood Parenting & Families Relationships Funny Witty Inspiring

Critic reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

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Hilarious Quotes • Touching Moments • Excellent Voice Transitions • Genuine Relationship • Wise Insights

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This book had me laughing so hard that I woke my wife up and got curious stares on the bus. While the run time of this audio book is only 3 hours it is the perfect length to get an idea of how Justin's father thinks and you also get a sense that there is absolutely no filter when he thinks something to when he speaks what's on his mind. This very funny book that does use course language because Justin's father is a little gruff! IF you are offended by such language, then stay away.

Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award

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I must admit that I have been burned by "blogger books" before, so I was very skeptical about this one, a book based on a Twitter sensation. While the Sh*t Mt Dad Says is the only thing I actually like about Twitter, I couldn't help but think that this book would get stale really quick. Halpern, it turns out, is a pretty great writer. He has a great knack for comic timing and dialog (which, obviously, he got from his father) and understands and conveys the complexities of the father-son dynamic with some terrific anecdotes. In fact, I enjoyed Halpern's stories far more than the short quotes dispersed throughout the book. As far as the narrator goes, he reminded me of Ben Stiller, which seemed sort of appropriate, although the gruff "dad voice" takes some getting used to.

Surprisingly hilarious!

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Any additional comments?

This amazing book lends credit to the line

So funny i listened 3 times

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I read this book a few years back and remember really enjoying it so I thought of getting in on audible and have a read to me while I drive or workout. And while I still enjoyed the story I can't say I'm crazy about the narration I'm not too keen on people doing voices for other characters but then again I don't know how would work if he would just use the same voice for everything a character but in essence the book is funny and don't regret buying it at all.

Funny as hell

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I have been a member of Audible for over a year now, and Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern, is the first audiobook for which I have felt it would be a crime not to provide a review. This is an uproariously hilarious, engaging and witty piece of writing. The narration shines: each character comes alive with Schemmel's astounding variance in tone and voice, aiding the listener in getting to know each unique personality, particularly that of Sam the father. More than just a funny, crass collection of witty quips, Sh*t My Dad Says is ultimately the story of a dad who, beneath his gruff exterior, genuinely loves and cares for his family and the well being of his son. I cannot recommend this audiobook enough!

Funniest Book I've Read in Years

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Had my husband and I in stiches at times. could totally relate having two sons.

Laugh out loud

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I actually feel like I now know both Justin and his Dad, and I like them! In spite of the constant F-Bombs, I would still consider this a nice warm Family Read. Probably because they were dropped by Dad and not the Son.

I gave this book 4 Stars because the Author managed to record one anecdote after another while telling an intimate and funny autobiographical story that moved at just the right pace.

The Narration was well done and if the Character's voices sounded a bit amateurish, it only lent to the notion that I had been most fortunate to stumble across this lovely Portrait of true Americana and not a work of fiction.


Real American Humor from a Real American Family

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Narrator was awesome. It exceeded my expectations. Great stories and insights about being a decent human being. Oh, it is also hilarious.

Funny and Full of good lessons

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Where does Sh-t My Dad Says rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

At the top of the list

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?

Too many to mention

What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

How he explained his feelings with each event.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

When the authors Dad was happy he was sharing his life with everyone, that he really loves him.

Any additional comments?

I bought a copy for each of our children. I am sure everyone will be able to relate to one or more of the events in this book.

Funny

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This was a lighthearted, laugh out loud, enjoyable audiobook! The narrator was fantastic! There may have been a few too many references to the author's masturbation, but overall, well written. Not having read a print copy, I wonder if it would be as enjoyable, as the narrator's voice he gave the dad added so much to his character. I think the audiobook is the way to go.

Great Narration! Funny Story!

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