-
How to Survive a Unicorn
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $33.90
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
The New Sir Terry Pratchett
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Dead Tired I
- By: RavensDagger
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Dorrie Sacks, Tiana Camacho, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
-
-
Amazing!
- By Anonymous User on 12-19-23
By: RavensDagger
-
Liches Get Stitches
- Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
- By: HJ Tolson
- Narrated by: Ella Lynch
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
-
-
Leveling up in a cheery British accent
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 09-08-23
By: HJ Tolson
-
Miz Dusty Le Frey
- MM Paranormal Romance & Dark Comedy (Crawshanks Guide to the Recently Departed: Dead Serious, Case 1)
- By: Vawn Cassidy
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tristan Everett has always preferred the company of the dead because they usually don't talk back. Being a somewhat awkward introvert working as a pathologist at the Hackney Public Mortuary suits him just fine. That is, until a freak accident with a rogue ice cube and suddenly he can see ghosts. Just when he thought his life couldn't get any weirder, sassy drag queen, Dusty Le Frey, is wheeled in with a toe tag and she's not prepared to go quietly into the light.
-
-
Sweet and romantic
- By cat lady on 03-10-24
By: Vawn Cassidy
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
The New Sir Terry Pratchett
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Dead Tired I
- By: RavensDagger
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Dorrie Sacks, Tiana Camacho, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
-
-
Amazing!
- By Anonymous User on 12-19-23
By: RavensDagger
-
Liches Get Stitches
- Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
- By: HJ Tolson
- Narrated by: Ella Lynch
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
-
-
Leveling up in a cheery British accent
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 09-08-23
By: HJ Tolson
-
Miz Dusty Le Frey
- MM Paranormal Romance & Dark Comedy (Crawshanks Guide to the Recently Departed: Dead Serious, Case 1)
- By: Vawn Cassidy
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tristan Everett has always preferred the company of the dead because they usually don't talk back. Being a somewhat awkward introvert working as a pathologist at the Hackney Public Mortuary suits him just fine. That is, until a freak accident with a rogue ice cube and suddenly he can see ghosts. Just when he thought his life couldn't get any weirder, sassy drag queen, Dusty Le Frey, is wheeled in with a toe tag and she's not prepared to go quietly into the light.
-
-
Sweet and romantic
- By cat lady on 03-10-24
By: Vawn Cassidy
-
Beware of Chicken 4: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Beware of Chicken, Book 4
- By: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 30 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A part of me wants to run away again. The memory of my death still haunts my dreams. But this is my home now. And I'll be damned if I give it up without a fight. I mean, all I have to do is learn how to navigate xianxia politics and train for battle while simultaneously running my farm and uncovering an ancient cataclysm that apparently destroyed the Azure Hills back in the day. Meanwhile, I'm about to be a father . . . Man, I'm kinda screwed, aren't I? At least I can call in the cavalry—ahem, poultry—to help.
By: Casualfarmer
-
Gobbelino London & a Scourge of Pleasantries
- Gobbelino London, PI, Book 1
- By: Kim M. Watt
- Narrated by: Paul Tyreman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Find a missing book. That was the job the woman in the Doc Martens gave us. Easy money, right? Only now it seems she's actually an ancient, powerful sorcerer, and the book is a Book of Power that doesn't want to be found. It wants to tear reality apart at the seams, and it'll use anyone it can to do it. So now we've got one spectacularly displeased sorcerer, a hungry, still-missing book, a dentist with bad hygiene, and a neighbourhood having some reality issues to deal with. Plus about a day before the book turns our world - and us - inside out.
-
-
Interesting start
- By Michael on 01-03-24
By: Kim M. Watt
-
Saintess Summons Skeletons: Book 1
- A Holy Necromancy LitRPG
- By: Mornn
- Narrated by: Hannah Schooner
- Length: 18 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
She wanted to be a Necromancer, but awakened as a Saint! Somehow her summoned heroes are all undead? How will the church react when their Saintess summons a skeleton in place of a mighty hero? Sofia isn’t too keen on finding out. In this world, Gods choose [Saints], and [Saints] summon [Heroes] from other worlds; everyone knows that. But Sofia had a thing for bones ever since she was a child; there’s only one [Class] she wants: [Necromancer]! When, by the whims of fate, she gets both classes at the same time, the system breaks.
-
-
Misophonia Trigger
- By Anonymous User on 05-19-24
By: Mornn
-
All the Dust That Falls
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: zaifyr
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
-
-
Loved the take on isekai
- By Jess on 01-19-24
By: zaifyr
-
Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
-
-
The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Gentry Mathias on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
-
Jake's Magical Market
- By: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 20 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
-
-
Lots of 5 star reviews
- By Noah M on 01-09-22
By: J.R. Mathews
-
Orconomics: A Satire
- The Dark Profit Saga, Book 1
- By: J. Zachary Pike
- Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers (or NPCs) to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.
-
-
High Fantasy meets Economics- hilarity ensues
- By James Caulfield on 01-02-17
By: J. Zachary Pike
-
An Adventure Brewing
- A Cozy Fantasy LitRPG
- By: JollyJupiter
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 20 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Pete is a simple man who enjoys a good drink amongst good friends. Not too much to ask, right? Now, he's trapped in a fantasy world far from home, stuck underground and inside the body of a smelly dwarf with fantastic facial hair. The worst part? The swill that the dwarves are falling all over themselves to drink. It's flat, it's watery, and it has the alcohol content of a rancid coconut. Can Pete save the dwarves from their own sour fate, or will he be forever doomed to plink his pickaxe away in hopes that he hits the motherlode?
-
-
Glorious beards!
- By Willis Burns on 10-05-23
By: JollyJupiter
-
Morningwood: Everybody Loves Large Chests (Vol.1)
- By: Neven Iliev
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones. The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather's trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime!
-
-
Really Entertaining
- By HeatherY on 11-23-17
By: Neven Iliev
-
Mimic & Me
- By: Cassius Lange, Ryan Tang
- Narrated by: Ryan H. Reid, Dorrie Sacks, Jeff Hays
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.
-
-
loved the narration. The story is OK, but
- By Michael Wilson on 08-18-23
By: Cassius Lange, and others
-
Vainqueur the Dragon
- By: Maxime Durand
- Narrated by: Jack Voraces
- Length: 15 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?
-
-
Loved It. took me by surprise.
- By Michael Thorp on 05-02-20
By: Maxime Durand
-
How to Be a Farmer in a Fantasy World
- Cozy Guides to Fantasy Living, Book 1
- By: Shawn Wyatt
- Narrated by: Ryan Kennard Burke
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Drake needed a new start, and the small farm on the outskirts of the kingdom seemed like the perfect chance. Just one problem: he doesn't know the first thing about farming. He's also not sure how to deal with the giant, magical rooster that lives on his farm. But it's a fresh start, and Drake intends to make the best of it. Daily chores, a slew of monsters, and a haunted garden are one thing, but when his past catches up to him, Drake will have to learn to juggle his new responsibilities, a budding social life, and a secret that could cost him everything.
-
-
Humor, well thought out characters, story telling, the theme of magic is helpful but being good is more important.
- By Hugh McMonigle on 04-09-24
By: Shawn Wyatt
Publisher's summary
Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you.
Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong.
Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them and who has befriended a bunch of them. Whether it's krakens, vampires, or werewolves, this book has all the information you need to ensure your survival.
More from the same
Related to this topic
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Downloaded
- By: Robert J. Sawyer
- Narrated by: Brendan Fraser, Luke Kirby, Vanessa Sears, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2059, two vastly different groups of people portrayed by the compelling trio of Brendan Fraser (Academy Award winner), Luke Kirby (Emmy Award winner), and Vanessa Sears (Dora Award winner) undergo cryonic suspension. While their bodies are frozen, their minds, still active and awake, are uploaded into a massive quantum computer. The first group are all astronauts, about to leave Earth on a one-way interstellar colonization mission. The second group consists of convicted murderers and volunteers who elect to serve their sentences in a virtual-reality prison.
-
-
Poor writing- agenda piece
- By Amazon Customer on 10-27-23
By: Robert J. Sawyer
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Downloaded
- By: Robert J. Sawyer
- Narrated by: Brendan Fraser, Luke Kirby, Vanessa Sears, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2059, two vastly different groups of people portrayed by the compelling trio of Brendan Fraser (Academy Award winner), Luke Kirby (Emmy Award winner), and Vanessa Sears (Dora Award winner) undergo cryonic suspension. While their bodies are frozen, their minds, still active and awake, are uploaded into a massive quantum computer. The first group are all astronauts, about to leave Earth on a one-way interstellar colonization mission. The second group consists of convicted murderers and volunteers who elect to serve their sentences in a virtual-reality prison.
-
-
Poor writing- agenda piece
- By Amazon Customer on 10-27-23
By: Robert J. Sawyer
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
The New Sir Terry Pratchett
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Liches Get Stitches
- Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
- By: HJ Tolson
- Narrated by: Ella Lynch
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
-
-
Leveling up in a cheery British accent
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 09-08-23
By: HJ Tolson
-
Paranormal Real Estate
- Dirk Cooper, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
-
-
really refreshing, can't wait for more
- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
-
Circles in Hell, Books 1-4
- The Boxed Set Edition
- By: Mark Cain
- Narrated by: Michael Gilboe
- Length: 36 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Travel with Steve, doomed for eternity to serve as hell’s Mr. Fixit, on a wild ride through the circles of hell in this best-selling, humorous fantasy series.
-
-
The trials and tribulations of Hell's Super
- By ScretSquirrl on 08-31-18
By: Mark Cain
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
The New Sir Terry Pratchett
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Liches Get Stitches
- Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
- By: HJ Tolson
- Narrated by: Ella Lynch
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
-
-
Leveling up in a cheery British accent
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 09-08-23
By: HJ Tolson
-
Paranormal Real Estate
- Dirk Cooper, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
-
-
really refreshing, can't wait for more
- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
-
Circles in Hell, Books 1-4
- The Boxed Set Edition
- By: Mark Cain
- Narrated by: Michael Gilboe
- Length: 36 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Travel with Steve, doomed for eternity to serve as hell’s Mr. Fixit, on a wild ride through the circles of hell in this best-selling, humorous fantasy series.
-
-
The trials and tribulations of Hell's Super
- By ScretSquirrl on 08-31-18
By: Mark Cain
-
Dead Tired I
- By: RavensDagger
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Dorrie Sacks, Tiana Camacho, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
-
-
Amazing!
- By Anonymous User on 12-19-23
By: RavensDagger
-
Gobbelino London & a Scourge of Pleasantries
- Gobbelino London, PI, Book 1
- By: Kim M. Watt
- Narrated by: Paul Tyreman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Find a missing book. That was the job the woman in the Doc Martens gave us. Easy money, right? Only now it seems she's actually an ancient, powerful sorcerer, and the book is a Book of Power that doesn't want to be found. It wants to tear reality apart at the seams, and it'll use anyone it can to do it. So now we've got one spectacularly displeased sorcerer, a hungry, still-missing book, a dentist with bad hygiene, and a neighbourhood having some reality issues to deal with. Plus about a day before the book turns our world - and us - inside out.
-
-
Interesting start
- By Michael on 01-03-24
By: Kim M. Watt
-
Guiding Emily
- A Tale of Love, Loss, and Courage (Guiding Emily, Book 1)
- By: Barbara Hinske
- Narrated by: Fred Berman, Julia Whelan
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emily Main had it all: a high-powered career with a leading technology giant and a handsome fiancé bounding up the corporate ladder. Their island wedding and honeymoon were idyllic, until a tragic accident causes her retinas to detach. Her well-ordered life is shattered as all treatments are unsuccessful and she slips into blindness. How will those around her cope with her tragedy? Can she rebuild her life in this most unwelcome new normal? Meanwhile, a black Lab puppy named Garth fulfills his destiny to become that most esteemed of all creatures: a guide dog.
-
-
A lovely story
- By Stacy on 02-07-21
By: Barbara Hinske
-
Super Babes
- A Superhero LitRPG Adventure (Super Babes 1)
- By: Jeremy Zenith
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is it, the first of the bestselling Super Babes series! Have you ever dreamed of becoming a superhero? Well, Ryan Walker has, too. In a world where superheroes and supervillains roam the streets, Ryan Walker is just a lowly pizza delivery guy who dreams of being a hero. That goes double when a group of supervillains take over Eros City. Ryan gets his chance to go from zero to hero when he meets a mysterious scientist who gives him a high-tech implant that uses RPG mechanics to unlock hidden powers. Ryan becomes PARAGON, and with a team of kick-ass superheroines, he'll make those ...
-
-
words hard. author gets a participation trophy.
- By kevin on 03-05-24
By: Jeremy Zenith
-
Armor
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- By: C.B. Titus
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 12 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My master created me for his entertainment, leading adventurers to ruin. Betraying them at the last moment, just when their glorious victory was on hand. I have been found again by the newest member of a quartet of dungeon crawlers. Poor fool. This time will be no different. Or does it have to be? Maybe I don't need to spend eternity left in a deep, dark dungeon waiting to devour would-be heroes. Maybe, just maybe, I can take him over and use this new identity to leave and masquerade as an adventurer myself.
-
-
the best part about this book is that it's
- By Denard on 08-08-22
By: C.B. Titus
-
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
-
-
cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
-
One Moo'r Plow: Minotaur Farming LitRPG
- One Moo'r Plow: Minotaur Farming LitRPG, Book 1
- By: Exemplar
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 16 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Somebody once told a joke. A man ran in place all his life. He worked a job he didn't love for people he couldn't stand. But at the end of the day, the number in his bank account went up. That man got a second chance at life. He woke up in another world, one full of adventures and romances and monsters and gods. And floating above his head, he saw the number "1". So what did he say? "Gosh, I better make the number go up." Not today. Not for this old soul. Reborn as a beast of battle meant to live a short life and die screaming, Garek refuses.
-
-
I liked it
- By Anonymous User on 08-31-23
By: Exemplar
-
Big Sneaky Barbarian: A LitRPG Novel
- Book 1
- By: Seth McDuffee
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 20 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gabe Skelter has a temper, which he likes to imagine has the effect of causing people to fear and respect him. On the contrary, his pudgy, underdeveloped body and negative personality make him more your standard outcast teenager. Worse still, he kinda knows what a jerkweed he actually is. Then, in the middle of a class trip, Gabe finds himself spirited away to Regaia: a world of magic, mayhem, and nerd-tastic adventure. Naturally, he’s completely ill-prepared. But in this realm, he’s a monstrous, muscular man of action.
-
-
is this a joke?
- By MaDonna Wesberry on 12-10-22
By: Seth McDuffee
-
Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
-
-
The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Gentry Mathias on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
-
A Pub in the Underworld: A Slice-of-Life LitRPG Adventure
- The Cozy Abyss, Book 1
- By: Harmon Cooper
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Following the guidance of a mysterious blue prompt, Sylas journeys to the town of Ember Hollow to breathe new life into a quaint local pub. Along the way, he meets a clever apothecary named Mira, who helps him acclimate to the ins and outs of the realm, and Patches, a corpulent cat who’s slightly . . . shall we say, unusual. Dubbing the pub “The Old Lamplighter,” Sylas hopes it will be a safe haven for other weary souls. Of course, it doesn’t feel that safe when the prompt reappears with a warning: [You have 89 days until the invasion.]
-
-
Wait for the series to complete
- By K. Hansen on 02-20-24
By: Harmon Cooper
-
The Menagerie
- Menagerie Series, Book 1
- By: Tui T. Sutherland, Kari H. Sutherland
- Narrated by: Em Eldridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the small town of Xanadu, Wyoming, lies the Menagerie, a top secret facility filled with unicorns, dragons, phoenixes, and other fairy tale creatures. At least, it was a secret - until six griffin cubs escaped. If Logan and Zoe don't get the cubs back fast, the entire Menagerie will be shut down. The race is on and the resulting adventure is only the beginning of a thrilling series that will leave listeners wanting a magical menagerie of their very own.
-
-
starting to love these two authors
- By Christopher Tersinar on 01-13-21
By: Tui T. Sutherland, and others
-
Young Gods Tournament
- A Cultivation LitRPG Adventure
- By: Cale Plamann, Alex Beaumont
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Young Gods Tournament awaits. Only the victors will break through to the worlds beyond the heavens. In an unfair world where a single monster can wipe out an entire village, Thomas is not one of the chosen few. He wasn’t gifted with immense power from the moment of his birth, nor does he have a powerful backer to defend him. By the laws of the world, it’s near impossible for him to rise to the top. But where the god’s themselves have failed him, Thomas will push on and gain the strength to protect his friends, and his home, from the ever rising dangers of the world.
-
-
I enjoyed the first chapter
- By Kindle Customer on 02-21-24
By: Cale Plamann, and others
Love Books? You'll Love Audible.
Transform your day
Replace endless scrolling with endless listening. Chores can be fun.
Listen everywhere
Download titles to listen offline, wherever you are in the world.
Carry your entire Library
Your stories go where you go. Audiobooks don’t weigh a thing.
Listen and learn
Discover stories that can change your mind, your well-being, and your life.
Reach your reading goals
You can’t turn pages while you drive—but you can press play.
Find your niche
WIth thousands of titles to explore, there’s something for everyone.
What listeners say about How to Survive a Unicorn
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Hiep
- 06-01-24
It’s different
It like listening to 1 guy talking about his life experience, we can connect the dots to know the main character. Very detailed about fantasy creatures. A lot of humor which I enjoy most. Narrator is so passionate, he makes the book more interesting.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Koeeoaddi
- 03-05-24
Loved it loved it loved it!
What a wonderful book and as usual, the narrator was fantastic. I’m going to replay it now!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 04-26-24
A Lot of Fun for Old and New Fans of L. G. Estrella Alike
Very enjoyable in its own right, but also full of fun Easter eggs for fans of the author’s other works. I was particularly happy to hear about the Unconventional Heroes’ Spot’s ultimate destiny.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- SammiG
- 02-19-24
It’s an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. Not a story
For what it is….. it’s fine. However I was expecting a story not an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. The explanations are humorous. I really like this author’s work but frustrated that the explanation of the book was so vague as to what this book really was.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Victor J Walsh
- 02-11-24
Mr Estrella can write anything and I will read it and love it
An interesting tale in his wonderful world. A completely different take than the usual and very appreciated
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Alicia Long
- 02-11-24
Not your “standard” L.G. Estrella book, but I’m loving it!
Warning! This is different from the author’s other works. I’m loving it, but it’s not a standard story. It’s short vignettes and instructions from a hero who has survived lots of fearsome monsters. There is a story thread woven through, but it’s not on the surface. The narrator’s great, but it might not be the right listen for you. Give the sample a listen to test it out before you buy it,
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Heather V
- 02-18-24
I really tried with this...
First of all I am a massive fan of the author. I love the Unconventional Hero's & Attempted Vampirism Series a TON!
But this...
Well, I really tried to make it past chapter 3 and just couldn't; the 3 chapters discussing unicorns and virgins vs. non-virgins and all that was just too much. I felt it was super cringey. I was really looking forward to the book :( but I guess every author has 1 that is unique and not for everyone.
I encourage all to at least give the sample a listen and see if it is your cup of tea, and if it isn't, you should check out his other stuff; it's head and shoulders above!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Merrilee Yocum
- 04-30-24
Nothing like her other works and not in a good way
Lete be clear. I LOVE every other L.G. Estrella book! This book is a man talking about magical creatures like some old western cowboy describing all the dangers in the West. The narration is a bit flat and the book seems fairly repetitive so it really drags on. made it half way through before calling it. I'm hoping it's a binder so she can join all of her "worlds" together. Any other book by her is top tier excitement and adventure strung along with witty humor and well developed characters
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Brad K
- 04-08-24
Awful. Not a story, just fake facts.
What a waste of a credit. Love the author but this isn’t a story. It’s literally what the title says just instructions. I want my credit back!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- B. Watson
- 03-04-24
Purchase with caution: it’s an encyclopedia
Purchased as soon as it was released purely because I loved every thing I’ve read by the author. All the humor and originality of the varying genres he’s done won my confidence. So bad on me for blindly rushing to buy a flat and lifeless Wikipedia page of mythical creatures. As interesting as being chained to a chair at a high school graduation without a relative in the ceremony.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!