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But What Will People Say?
- Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures
- Narrated by: Sahaj Kaur Kohli MAEd LGPC
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
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Publisher's summary
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“Loving, culturally informed, and holistic... [Kohli] compassionately shares her own story, and guides readers through the nuances and pain of assimilation, individuation, and mental health. How I wish I had this book back when I was trying to figure it all out for myself!”—Ramani Durvasula, PhD, author of It’s Not You
A deeply personal, paradigm-shifting book rethinking traditional therapy and self-care, creating much-needed space for those left out of the narrative
Writer and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli grew up knowing exactly what it means to straddle multiple cultures at once. Like many children of immigrants, she has often found herself plagued by questions: Can I establish my own values and embrace where I come from? Is prioritizing my mental health really rejecting my culture? How do I set boundaries and care for myself when family and community mean everything? Even after becoming a therapist herself, she saw those same gaps in the mental health world, leading her to wonder, like so many children of immigrants: what about us?
While conversations around mental health are becoming increasingly open, our models remain largely Eurocentric and focused on individuality. Sahaj has sought to challenge these long-held models, using deep personal reflection, therapy, community building, and a whole lot of trial and error, eventually navigating her own way to understanding and acceptance. Here, she shows us how to get there, all the while reminding us that personal healing is inextricably connected to collective healing.
But What Will People Say? elegantly weaves together personal narrative, anecdotal analysis, and comprehensive research. Sahaj offers advice and tools for everything from navigating generational trauma, guilt, and boundaries, to breaking down stigmas around therapy and celebrating cultural duality. Democratizing and decolonizing the way we think about mental health and self-help, Sahaj’s incredible work is nothing short of a revolution.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of tables and exercises from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Critic reviews
“As a therapist and journalist, [Kohli] has explored the struggles of children of immigrants searching for what’s normal and where they can fit in...It’s the book she longed for in her youth; hopefully, it will be a guide for others facing similar challenges.”—Booklist
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate. At times it was as if I were reading my own story, now equipped with the tools to understand and thrive in this confusing world.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“For those of us who straddle cultures and countries, it can often feel like we don’t really know who we are, where we belong, and what feels truly authentic to us. Sahaj Kaur Kohli understands this intimately and gives us language to understand our experiences, and tools to help us bridge our personal need for individuation with our cultural needs for community. For children of immigrants looking to do the intergenerational work of healing, decolonization, and collective liberation, this book is a must read.”—Layla F. Saad, New York Times bestselling author of Me and White Supremacy
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3% MAN
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-17
By: Corey Wayne
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How to Release Anxiety
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s not just you. Stress levels are at an all-time high—so much so that a recently convened panel of medical experts in the US has recommended that all adults under the age of 65 be screened for anxiety. In How to Release Anxiety, Gabby Bernstein offers simple, actionable steps for feeling better, living with more ease, and showing up for those around us. Gabby’s unusual advice: Rather than manage your anxiety, what if you befriended it? Gabby posits that what we befriend, we can ultimately be at ease with. So she invites us to get curious.
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Not my thing, but one good point
- By Scott on 10-22-22
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A Quiet Life in 7 Steps
- By: Susan Cain
- Narrated by: Susan Cain
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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In a world of distraction, overcommitment, and often overwhelming social expectations, are you craving depth, meaning, and true connection? Join Susan Cain, an international best-selling author on the power of introverts who will help you tune out all of your everyday stresses and conflicts and tune into living a Quiet Life. In seven steps, Susan will show you exactly how to lead your own Quiet Life. She’ll help you connect with the part of yourself that’s drawn to the quiet, the deep, the beautiful, and the kind.
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A great reminder to once again listen to our inner voice…
- By Amazon Customer on 01-14-24
By: Susan Cain
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships
- By: Monica Johnson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Monica Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Holding boundaries and asserting yourself are crucial skills for maintaining healthy relationships and a sense of self-respect. In Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships, professional clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson teaches you how to clearly define your limits, communicate those limits to others, and foster mutual respect and understanding in your everyday interactions.
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clear and easy to understand.
- By Jane Schuh on 05-19-24
By: Monica Johnson, and others
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
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Tools of Titans
- The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers
- By: Tim Ferriss
- Narrated by: Ray Porter, Kaleo Griffith, Tim Ferriss, and others
- Length: 22 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The latest groundbreaking tome from Tim Ferriss, the number-one New York Times best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek. For the last two years, I've interviewed more than 200 world-class performers for my podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show. The guests range from super celebs (Jamie Foxx, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.) and athletes (icons of powerlifting, gymnastics, surfing, etc.) to legendary Special Operations commanders and black-market biochemists. For most of my guests, it’s the first time they’ve agreed to a two-to-three-hour interview.
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If I could sum it up: too much of a good thing
- By Brian Sachetta on 06-08-20
By: Tim Ferriss
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
- By: Christopher Canwell
- Narrated by: Christopher Canwell, Jackson Parker
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Atomic Attraction Christopher Canwell takes us on a journey through the dark waters of attraction. What turns women on? What makes them choose one man over another? And how can you become truly desirable and attractive? This book answers these questions by combining the latest scientific research with real-life case studies to show you, the listener, how to ignite the fires of attraction and captivate those around you.
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Disappointing.
- By Rose Conley on 01-19-20
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We all want to be happy. This goal drives everything that we do. Why, then, are so many of us so unhappy? It’s not your fault. You have been told a lie: that achieving your own success will make you happy. This is “old happy,” society’s incorrect definition of happiness. The truth is that happiness comes from helping other people to live happier lives. In New Happy, happiness expert and wildly popular Instagram artist Stephanie Harrison shares her groundbreaking new philosophy of happiness.
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Reuben, aged 38, was living in a home for adults with learning disabilities. He hadn’t established an independent life in the care system and was still struggling to accept that he had Down syndrome. Depressed and in a fog of antidepressants, he hadn’t spoken for over a year. The only way he expressed himself was by writing poems or drawing felt-tip scenes from his favorite musicals and films. Increasingly isolated, cut off from everyone and everything he loved, Reuben sent a text message: brother. do. you. love. me.
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The Resilience Myth
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We are often urged to rely only on ourselves for strength, mental fortitude, and positivity. But with her distinctive “skill, wit, and sharp insight” (Laura Bates, author of Girl Up), Soraya Chemaly challenges us to adapt our thinking about how we survive in a world of sustained, overlapping crises. It is interdependence and nurturing relationships that truly sustain us, she argues. Based on comprehensive research and eye-opening examples from real-life, The Resilience Myth offers alternative visions of relational hardiness by emphasizing care for others and our environments above all.
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Coauthors Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon are professional therapists who witnessed firsthand how mental health issues often went unaddressed not only in their own immigrant families, but in Asian and Asian American communities. Where I Belong shows us how the cycle of trauma can play out in our relationships, placing Asian American experiences front and center to help us process and heal from racial and intergenerational trauma.
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Brother. Do. You. Love. Me.
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Reuben, aged 38, was living in a home for adults with learning disabilities. He hadn’t established an independent life in the care system and was still struggling to accept that he had Down syndrome. Depressed and in a fog of antidepressants, he hadn’t spoken for over a year. The only way he expressed himself was by writing poems or drawing felt-tip scenes from his favorite musicals and films. Increasingly isolated, cut off from everyone and everything he loved, Reuben sent a text message: brother. do. you. love. me.
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For most of Hailey Magee’s life, people-pleasing came so naturally to her that she didn’t even have a word for it. When somebody wanted something from her—even a stranger—she gave it, no matter how uncomfortable, exhausted, or resentful she felt inside. People-pleasing, she learned, was a coping mechanism that had kept her physically and emotionally safe in the past, but wreaked havoc on her life in the present—and she was committed to breaking the pattern once and for all.
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Do you beat yourself up when what you feel doesn’t align with the person you think you should be? You “should” be a good friend, but you feel hurt by past betrayals. You “should” be content, but you feel lonely or unfulfilled. You “should” have faith, but you feel discouraged by unanswered prayers. Instead of working through these inner tensions, you guilt-trip or gaslight yourself, which just leaves you feeling stuck, defeated, and trapped by conflicting feelings. But there is another path.
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Stock up on Highlighters!
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Love Is a Burning Thing
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In Love Is a Burning Thing, Nina interrogates what happens to those undiagnosed and unseen. This is a transfixing, moving portrait of a mother-daughter relationship that also examines mental health, stigma, poverty, and gender—and the role that spirituality plays within each. Nina’s writing skirts the mystical, untangles it, and ultimately illuminates it with brilliance.
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Vivid. Poetic. Searingly-honest
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Vows
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Fighting for Our Friendships
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Bumble BFF’s resident friend expert identifies the 9 most common conflict types in women's platonic relationships, sharing practical strategies to resolve issues and strengthen ties.
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Wow
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Our society tells us over and over that if we're going to achieve anything, we'd better do it while we're young. But whether you're at the start of your career, sensing you're on the wrong path, or feeling unsettled later in life, you're likely wondering just how to reinvent yourself? Have you left it too late? This book has answers. Late bloomers - individuals who experience significant success later in life - offer lessons for people who feel frustrated.
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Break the Cycle
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From Dr. Mariel Buqué, a leading trauma psychologist, comes this groundbreaking guide to transforming intergenerational pain into intergenerational abundance. With Break the Cycle, she delivers the definitive guide to healing inherited trauma. Weaving together scientific research with practical exercises and stories from the therapy room, Dr. Buqué teaches readers how trauma is transmitted from one generation to the next and how they can break the cycle through tangible therapeutic practices, learning to pass down strength instead of pain to future generations.
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Break new ground with Break the Cycle
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Catch Me If You Can
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Frank W. Abagnale, alias Frank Williams, Robert Conrad, Frank Adams, and Robert Monjo, was one of the most daring con men, forgers, imposters, and escape artists in history. In his brief but notorious criminal career, Abagnale donned a pilot's uniform and copiloted a Pan Am jet, masqueraded as the supervising resident of a hospital, practiced law without a license, passed himself off as a college sociology professor, and cashed over $2.5 million in forged checks, all before he was twenty-one.
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I really enjoyed the story.
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Magic Pill
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In January 2023, bestselling author Johann Hari started to inject himself once a week with Ozempic, the diabetes drug that produces significant weight loss. He wasn’t alone—credible predictions suggest that in two years, a quarter of the U.S. population will be taking this class of drug. Proponents say that this is a biological solution to a biological problem. While 95 percent of diets fail, the average person taking one of the new drugs will lose a quarter of their body weight in six months, and keep it off for as long as they take it.
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Phenomenal!
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Sovereign
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Sovereign delivers a radically new and enlightening message, made for this age of suffering and confusion. It’s a manifesto that awakens us to all the areas in our life where we have subjugated ourselves to self-destructive beliefs and tendencies. And it’s a roadmap to reclaim our full psychological sovereignty so we can live free, happy, and authentic lives.
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Most impactful self-help book I have read so far
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By: Emma Seppälä PhD
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The Year of Living Constitutionally
- One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Constitution's Original Meaning
- By: A.J. Jacobs
- Narrated by: A.J. Jacobs
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Is the Constitution a living document that needs to evolve with the times? Or should we try to divine the original meaning that our Founding Fathers intended, and hew to that as strictly as possible, as present-day originalists suggest? In The Year of Living Constitutionally, A.J. Jacobs tries to get inside the minds of the Founding Fathers by living as closely as possible to the original meaning of the Constitution.
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Enjoyed this, but…
- By William on 05-31-24
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Take Back Your Brain
- How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head—and How to Get It Out
- By: Kara Loewentheil
- Narrated by: Kara Loewentheil
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
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What if every time you had a self-critical thought, you heard it in a man’s voice? The truth is not far off. Living in a patriarchy, women absorb a lifetime of messages that say your worth is defined by your looks, your accomplishments, and how well you take care of everyone around you. In fact, these messages are so pervasive that, even knowing they exist, they still manage to program themselves into our brains. The result is that women end up feeling anxious, guilty, and vaguely ashamed of themselves no matter how much they do for others or achieve for themselves.
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Exceptionally easy to grasp and see how one can apply this powerful work.
- By Holly Benton on 05-27-24
By: Kara Loewentheil
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